this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2026
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[–] Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 175 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

Thank you legal weed for getting rid of Paul.

Years ago, I recall having to hang out with Paul for hours to get my weed. He wouldn't just "do business", he was lonely and wanted someone to talk to. The grower was an old man that grew a single variety of weed (grapefruit), Paul included lots of stems and seeds and was short on weight besides.

THEN Paul got a girlfriend, I was so excited. FINALLY, I'm sure he'll want to conduct business quickly, right? Oh, wait, she's lonely too, and wants to chat about the Reptilian Royal Family.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[–] Mika@piefed.ca 50 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Crazy how you people even meet Paul. In Ukraine 99% interactions were via stashes: pay someone in crypto so they reveal the location (lat/lon) of the hidden stash and the photos of where it's hidden. Then off you go treasure hunting.

No face to face contact this way.

[–] winkerjadams@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Here in america you would get ripped off and be out of your bag and your crypto

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago

No, at the supposed location, a bunch of cops start to beat you while screaming "Stop resisting!", then shove you into a prison for labor purposes.

[–] Mika@piefed.ca 6 points 4 days ago

That happens but that's why you do your research and search the feedback on shops first.

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 11 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

It's wild that this would be gibberish just 20 years ago.

What the fuck is a crypto?

How tf am I supposed to trust the drug man?

Send photos like in the mail? I don't want him knowing my address....

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

That might just be a cultural difference. In the US it was always one of four people: the Paul type (a weird loser who you had to hang out with), as shown elsewhere in the thread someone weirdly smart and competent who's doing it for some side cash usually in school, a friend who buys in bulk and sells to friends, or a professional who didn't want to spend any more time with you than you with them but is generally sketchy as hell and not who middle class people were buying an eighth off of. All of these were typically in person

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 6 points 4 days ago

Geo-cache drug dealing. What a world.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 14 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I had a dealer like that once, he said it was too conspicuous when people stopped by for only 5 minutes. In hindsight he may have just been getting people to smoke him up.

[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 4 days ago

I had a guy like this once, except he was cool as fuck and smoked people up if they stayed and played Mario Kart. So, that's how I learned how to play Mario Kart lol

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

The places most of them live didn't care about 5 minutes stops.

Also It's never a secret to the neighbors.

[–] protist@retrofed.com 52 points 4 days ago (1 children)

When I was in college, this girl who was whip smart in one of my bio classes invited me over, and I quickly discovered she was a prolific weed dealer. Never in a million years would I have guessed

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 29 points 4 days ago (1 children)

There is now a physicist who used to be my weed dealer.

[–] v4ld1z@lemmy.zip 9 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

My highschool chemistry teacher turned out to be cooking meth. You think you know a person

[–] puppycat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

i think i watched the show about him.

[–] CluckN@lemmy.world 66 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Carl never made Jimmy listen to his SoundCloud album while he is forced to sandbag in Smash Bros to avoid Carl freaking out.

[–] Godort@lemmy.ca 42 points 5 days ago (2 children)

You should find a new dealer, dude

[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 15 points 5 days ago

I don't know. Kind of sounds like it's really good stuff.

[–] CluckN@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago

Sheen also sold but he had a bloody 2 dollar bill that he would use to snort Purple Flurp. Carl was a much better option.

[–] barkybeak@lemmy.zip 48 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I interviewed a drug dealer that has been in the field for over 25 years. He looks just a regular guy. Nice house. Two kids. A wife who works. You would have no idea this neighbor was a dealer.

He and I wrote a book together.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] LuigiMaoFrance@lemmy.ml 29 points 4 days ago

nice try fed

[–] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I worked with a guy with a similar story -- book included. Are you Canadian?

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 days ago

it's a small world after all

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 42 points 5 days ago (8 children)

There is a big difference between a "weed guy" and a drug dealer.

Show me a person who has 3 different kinds of weed, cocaine, LSD, and pills and I'll show you a scary person.

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 51 points 5 days ago

my guy with 3 different kinds of weed, lsd and pills is chill af.

the coke people are sketchy as fuck though, both the dealers and the clients.

[–] glups@piefed.social 39 points 5 days ago (1 children)

My coke dealer (I'm sober now) was a huge Trump fan. He loved to talk about it. He first told me the same day Trump said all drug dealers should be put to death, so not the most insightful person. He later fled the country to escape a domestic battery charge. Coke dealers, not great people.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 18 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Coke dealers, not great people.

Yeah, gotta lock Santa up.

[–] big_slap@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

that damn polar bear switched teams during the Superbowl, I'm glad he got out

[–] kieron115@startrek.website 15 points 4 days ago

A guy I worked with used to sell. I went over to his place one time and he had literally dozens of strains, just because he liked trying them but didn't smoke a lot. If you bought from him he would give you several different kinds and insist that you keep a journal of how different they all felt lol.

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Hey, that guy you're describing is sometimes just a really well spoken dude outside a concert venue with a backpack. It's not all sinister.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Stepping on someone's toes, are we? What kind of backpack do you use?

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 days ago

Spoken like someone who never met a cool person with a backpack of goodies at a festival.

[–] glups@piefed.social 3 points 4 days ago

Jansport Gang

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 3 points 4 days ago

I just keester it to get my stuff in past the gate check

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Yeah no stick to the hippie dealers. 3 kinds of weed, LSD, and they've been thinking of growing a batch of shrooms and want to know if you're interested.

[–] itsjustachairmary@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

I mean, that's just kids really. The heavy hitters are selling crack, heroin, the really horrible stuff you know. Well maybe cocaine is also a bit sketchy but the acid guy isn't that bad right?

[–] zammy95@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

Oh hey, I knew this guy too

He was terrifying

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 29 points 4 days ago

Yeah, that's called ✨propaganda✨

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 11 points 4 days ago

A drug dealer dressed all in black with a balaclava is absolutely a Fed working for the Trump administration.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 days ago

I know one that is now a monk of some sorts. He was addicted tho.

[–] GreenBeanMachine@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago

That's just a pharmacist. Do not confuse the two.

[–] Jaycifer@piefed.social 5 points 4 days ago

Thanks for putting that “monkey” back in my head for the next week.