every day i wake up and smile because i will never have to set foot on a plane, either i can get somewhere by public transport or i'm just not going there.
this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2026
214 points (99.1% liked)
The Onion and other satire w/ layers
2793 readers
149 users here now
For posting satire from The Onion and other similar sources.
redundancy, but not for its own sake
Human crafted content only please! If reporting a violation or suspicious content please provide evidence in the report or a direct message. Thank you.
Be nice. All instance rules apply.
Rules:
- Be respectful. Everyone should feel welcome here.
- No bigotry - including racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, or xenophobia.
- No Ads / Spamming.
- No pornography.
Règles :
- Soyez respectueux. Tout le monde doit se sentir le bienvenu ici.
- Pas de bigoterie - y compris le racisme, le sexisme, le capacitisme, l’homophobie, la transphobie ou la xénophobie.
- Pas de publicités / Pas de spam.
- Pas de pornographie.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I think the stranger would be the one more willing to pay extra for no kids sitting next to them.
willing to pay extra for no kids
The idea of 'no kids' flights or sections has been floated before. It was, oddly, shut down as an idea.
I have no idea why there aren’t sections on planes specifically for parents and young children. All passengers win. Coughing, kicking, screaming kids make an already irritating form of transportation even more trying.
The airline doesn't care. It makes more work for them
I was all seated ready for take off and the guy next to me (impolite tone) said "you go up there, I want to sit with my wife"
If somebody was polite I'd consider it but he was a dick, and could have paid to sit with his travel partner.
For all he knows I could have paid for this exact seat.
I fly quite often and I usually do pay for my seat. Always want an aisle seat, dislike the trapped feeling sitting in the middle or window, and never want to bother the other people if I need to get out for some reason. Also prefer to get the front of the plane to deboard faster.
Always want an aisle seat,
We should fly together. I'm your window weirdo who HATES airplane bathrooms, so also not gonna need to get past you for all 8 hours.
I'm 350 pounds. You are my dream flight partner.
Hope you are comfortable with her on your lap, fuckface. I ain't goin nowhere. And this is officially my armrest while we are at it. Kiss my ass.
Wow, we found the guy!
Nah I think he was trying to portray what he would've said as OP
If somebody was polite I’d consider it but he was a dick, and could have paid to sit with his travel partner.
This is how we know you're Canadian, and the other guy was Toronto.
I was so tired of airline bullshit once when going back home from Montreal to Copenhagen, that when the airline tried to split my partner and I from sitting next to each other, so a toddler could move to their parents, I just refused... Until they offered a free upgrade to 1st class.
First time I was ever thankful for a toddler on a plane.
I can understand that I would also take an offer for a 1st class upgrade to get away from the screaming toddlers
Was the upgrade for just you, or your wife?
Partner's 1st class upgrade was not having to sit next to commenter
One Never AI Slop Kitty coupon.
Had a kid sitting behind me on a flight coming home from far away. Kicked the entirety of the flight. After a few pointed looks to its parent - this is Canada, and he should have gotten the fn hint - I was gonna ask whether he wants me to teach the child some of the words I learned working on the water or as infantry. Like, maybe he keeps the kid in line or we're all gonna learn some words he'll remember for school. He seemed to finally fn get it, and I was the most relieved.
You have to pay $200 to sit next to your kid and wife.. fuck these airline fees
Skip the middleman. Passengers should start negotiating with each other and pay each other directly for any seat moves.
Nothing I hate more than a family trying to switch seats with half the plane because they didn't get tickets together. If it's a first come first serve seating plane that's one thing but I have seen people pull this shit on flights where you can select your seat before hand.
Often it’s not their fault. Happened to me, our flight was canceled and we got split up. I don’t prefer relying on the kindness of strangers to ensure my children’s wellbeing on the flight but I had literally no other choice.
Maybe they couldn't afford the extra cost per seat? It can be a pricy option.
Ugh, I bit the onion.