Of all the things that never happened, this one never happened the most.
Pretty sad though that this is the story she wants so much to tell.
this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2026
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This has to be satire, it has to be.
Even an alien trying to blend in with humans wouldn't write like this.
Also, learn how to properly format quotation marks, you silly goose.
I just looked up her LinkedIn profile, and it appears to be 100% not satire
I can't 😭😭😭😭😭
There's only one explanation that makes sense. Their child is a chatbot.
This is a ChatGpT prompt followed by a "make it sound more human" prompt 3-5 times
Because here's the thing: it still reads like slop
We've been writing slop long before the slopmachines were a thing. Where do people think corpospeak came from?
Unironically LinkedIn has probably seen the smallest decline in quality since LLMs hit the scene. Hard to go any lower when you're already at rock bottom.
Genuinely, how can someone recognize AI in a text like this?
You get a gut feeling if you see enough slop.
Examples: It’s not X, it’s Y. 2 separated short lines near the end. These things are repeated in all LLM generated “viral” linkedin post
Honestly… we’re in the worst timeline, and it’s things like this that add up to it.
What a total failure.
I don’t see any reference to the kid’s performance in alignment with APGs. She makes multiple references to clear KPIs while acknowledging his underperformance. Any toddler can mimic their parental units, but without a clear data-driven performance plan, I don’t see a future for him in that family.
There’s clear synergy between her and her spouse, but she admits to deficiencies in multiple KRAs. Delegation and outsourcing are powerful tools but must be specific, measurable, achievable, and relevant.
Yup that kids career is effectively done. I think it even counts as a felony abortion in Texas.
Kid shit his pants, we 10x'd that return by shitting our pants too
With only a few tweaks to formatting, this could just as easily be a greentext.
LinkedIn had supplanted 4chan greentexts as the most unhinged freaks on the internet imo
At least 4chan doesn't take itself too seriously. These fuckers are deranged.
A) Cool story, bro. B) The fact that they think this lie reflects something significant about their business acumen tells you everything you need to know about corporate culture. Their only metric for competency is the amount meaningless jargon they're able to use throughout the day.
Fuck off Isha. He didn't say that.
And then everyone clapped and clapped.
- clap reacted in zoom
Sounds exactly like the sort of thing a very neglectful parent would spout online to save face instead of spending time with their kid. I doubt that person even knows when their kids birthday is, let alone their name half the time.
Though, that's just my take on all that.
our son has heard category a hundred times more than he's heard cat
Then you have failed him!
If the kid were being sarcastic and making fun of adults, this would be hilarious though.
It's actually pretty funny how kids can pick up on stuff they hear adults say. I have a couple of my own thathappened moments that did actually happen, but they're usually one offs and can be put down to kids just imitating what they hear.
This one though, this is made up.
Yeah, raising a kid is full of moments like this that nobody will believe but will crack you up. My guess is that this lady's kid did this a few times and she extrapolated it into a whole story.
because here's the thing:
not x, but y
🧐
and then everybody clapped
I couldn't even read past the third sentence and that was the first thing that popped into my head.
Said child when he's in his 20's:
"I do not recognise myself in this story."
I hope circle back dies
This kid sounds like dead weight, if you ask me. Lay him off.
I bet ChatGPT agrees if you prompt it right.
I can’t imagine the spousal relationship that would survive long on corpo speak.
It's designed to allow for difficult conversations while removing the emotion. The only real problem is how impersonal it is.
It entirely depends on the type of corpo speak. Some of it is a euphemism for things that humans want to avoid addressing, like firing people and potentially throwing their lives into chaos because it makes a business have a line that looks slightly better for a few months.
Sometimes it's a polite thought terminating cliche the end a conversation or say "I hear what you're saying and we're doing it my way".
Sometimes it's just a shorthand for some of the things that corporations have adopted that can coincidentally be helpful in relationships.
Setting aside a few minutes to check-in and hear how everyone feels things have been going is a 'retro'.
I can 100% assure you that there are positive relationship impacts to looking your partner in the eye and asking if they want to touch base. That you've got a high priority action item that you're looking to circle back on, and some clearly defined success metrics.
All made up bullshit, of course, bit what. a sad story and what a sad time it is that some people genuinely believe this is a good thing
"I think I speak for all of us, when I say I understand, why you folks might hesitate, to submit to our demands. But here's an FYI... You're all gonna die, screaming..."
All we wanna do is eat your brains. We're not unreasonable, no one's gonna eat your eyes.
Okay, maybe sometimes strangling children is the right thing to do.
What? SOCIOPATHTYPE is evolving!
child abuse
the tower of babel i tell you!