Ask Lemmy

Somewhere between principled and petty. I’ve got a mental blacklist of places or brands I won’t buy from because either they’ve wronged me, given shit service or done something I don’t agree with. And in recent years I’ve added countries to that list too.

Yes, in an inflexible way that ruins my life.

If I had the courage of my convictions then I wouldnt be on here either.

I think most people would consider me highly, perhaps obnoxiously principled.

Tricky question, because the people who directly conflict with MY principles, probably feel that they are the one with principles, and I'M the immoral one.

I can be for the right price.

Probably not as much as I think I am.

Yeah, I guess fairly principled. That's probably related to my autism/sense of justice/not being controlled by social expectations, as well

Yes, I determine my thoughts about something based on how I feel about it and the available information. I actively try to avoid falling into group think on any subject. Or be told how I should feel about XYZ topic. It's lost me some friends along the way.

Kind of. But I'm also a pragmatic person resulting in a lot of contradictions. Just as an example, I despise authoritarian regimes, but my work email ends with .cn

I consider myself an anarchopragmatist at heart; I would love to have neither Gods, kings, or mayors, but the process of implementing an alternative would most likely be worse than what we have today, at least in my corner of the world.

Ofc, who would I be if I weren't? 😁

Yep. I left Reddit during the initial API crisis. I've left jobs because of my principles, even without backup jobs ready. There are tons of places I won't shop (including Amazon), and it makes finding things I need difficult sometimes. I've also been vegan for over 20 years.

My mom's the opposite. I grew up seeing her hypocrisy, and it upset me. She'd outright tell me, "Do as I say, not as I do." Such a rich lesson for a young mind! I realized that a lot of people become hypocrites by repeating what others say without critical thought, and it turned me into a skeptic. So many people jump on the emotional bandwagon (see any hot button political topic for reference), but then later after hearing someone else confidently spout an opinion on it, they will stand with the opposite conclusion. If they'd stopped and thought the first time they heard about it, before opening their mouths about it, they wouldn't come off hypocritical later on. But the distressing part is less that they changed their opinion, but that they still haven't put any critical thought into why they hold it - it's all just repeating others' words. Which is why if a topic is brand new to me, I will refuse to take a side in it until I research it and come to my own conclusions. There are enough parrots repeating propaganda thoughtlessly, we have to be very careful with whom we trust.

My principles uphold the person I am. I came to them on my own, often going against the tide I grew up in. To me, the hardest part about having principles isn't upholding them, but in dealing with those that can't believe you actually have them. So many people seem to float on seemingly without a real sense of self, swayed more by those around them than by any sort of inner compass. I can't fathom being like that, and those people apparently can't fathom being like me.

All the more reason Lemmy is such a good place to be. We might not all hold the same principles, but at least many of us seem to have them.

I'd also like to note the seeming overlap of Lemmy's populace with neurodivergence, which can coincide with, well, being a principled weirdo like me. ;)

I think I am principled in some things and not so much in others. Reddit has nothing to do with it. I left Reddit because it was no longer fun. I don’t want to scroll reposts of engagement bait and read the dumbest bot comments under it. I would happily keep using it if it was fun.

Yes but also no. I've come to the conclusion that being too extreme is just stupid. You always need a little bit of wiggle room.

Ha, it's very easy to have strong principles when you're a weird shut-in who spends all their time online ( definitely not me /s ). It's not exactly as demanding to be here as so many make it out to be. Unless you're running your own instance, it's just making an account on someone else's server, you just get a little choice in what kind of server you sign up for and where its hosted n such.

It's not like making an impact on your bills like committing to only eating organically grown vegetables as well as ethically farmed chicken, beef, and pork because you're against pesticides hurting insect populations and only want animals who aren't in industrial farm hell. You have plan where to shop for foods matching your principles of minimal harm to animals and ecosystems, and the cost may be significantly higher than non-organic or factory-farm produced food. There is a larger buy-in on your principles in this example, a larger impact on your daily life and routines.

Making an account on a relatively niche set of sites on the internet is more like just being a stubborn nerd. Not to say our reasons aren't often valuable principles in themselves, just that standing by those principles is often easier and cheaper to do online than very impactful real life principles. It's easy to talk big game online and be a bum in real life. It's easy to make an account once and then its as easy as typing in your username and password.

All you need to be principled out here is a halfway functioning old laptop running Linux ("I use Arch btw" -Lemmy probably) and an internet connection fast enough to load a website. It's not big stakes.

Further, there's a gap between being principled, and having good principles while being a regretful fuckup because you didn't live up to your own principles. I'd wager there's a lot more of us in the latter group of regretful fuckups.

I strive to be, but I know I fall short of living entirely true to my values. I think we all do. But I at least try.

I'd like to think so. I'm not perfect, but I mostly do what I think it right and what I think is important for myself and for society at large.

...having strong principles and actually sticking to them might be a common theme among the userbase here.

That's what I've traditionally thought, but I've found there's less of it that sentiment than I'd hoped for. A lot more people willing to be 'content consumers' or opinion-spewers without doing much to help make the FV work than I'd imagined. That said, some of that's surely just whining on my part as someone who chronically wishes that more communities (including mine) received more help & participation, as well as someone on the 'snappish-side' due to constant pain. Also, not everyone here necessarily came from Reddit, or has any special respect for the Fediverse.

I got kicked off Reddit for daring to speak my thoughts regarding Stephen Miller.

Duty now demands that I never look back.

Very. Unfortunately, that drives me to making choices that make my life very hard.

Yeah, and it doesn't do me any favors other than pissing people off because even if I agree with people I prioritize my principles over my agreement with them. My entire life I have pissed people off because I won't go along to get along, particularly when that going along is being cruel and discriminatory or just ignorant and stupid. I remember my parents and teachers repeatedly lecturing me how 'anti social' i was as a small child for asking too many questions and being skeptical of adults.

And my deepest regrets in life where not losing people, it was betraying myself for social agreement. Whenever that conflict happens, I just walk away. I'd rather keep my self-worth than compromise it for other people. Just like I'd rather be alone than compromise myself for a partner's sake ever again, especially as in my life experience those gestures are entirely one-way and were never reciprocated without intense bitterness directed towards me. I often feel like I'm expected to be infinitely patient with others, but asking that of others to be patient with me is forbidden.

I wonder sometimes how much easier it would be if I could just exist in a unprincipled state where I just followed and parroted what other people were doing for social acceptance and clout, with zero-capacity for genuine self-reflection.

Not in all areas, not on all topics, but yes, variouse principles apply.

I don't think I am, particularly. More like I am finally in a place where I can make principled choices - kids grown, stable living situation, working, feeling mentally settled, not as anxious or struggling as before. Like from this more privileged space I can avoid more of the bad choices that I might have made out of desperation.

Lemmy I just like because it's smaller and not corporate. Reddit was like that once too. I don't find it inconvenient to be on this platform.

what would we be without principles? just dumb cavemen.

depends.

is it a topic I care about? probably.

it's not? probably not.

AM I? I'm the most principled materfucker there is.

By principle I do many a thing that are against my "best interest" when it comes to relations and things that would help promote me financially. That doesn't mean I haven't also fucked myself over financially financially in other ways. But Ive walked from a job with nothing in savings and no safety net out of principles that the company probably will never know about nor care who I was at the end of the day.

My income ended up halved and my savings are still empty, but I sleep better at night, and now when I drink it's for fun and not the dread of who's lives would be ended/impacted by the fruits of my and others labor.

Yes, I believe I am very principled. I struggle to live up to them, but it gives me something to strive for.