this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2026
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Hey, I was raised on the premise that women want to be left alone and be independent which taught me that there is no environment or time where an approach would be appreciated. In return I assumed that in time and when ready, they would be the ones to initiate. Guess they really haven't held up their end of the bargain. Or maybe I'm just a dumb fool for assuming that.
You don't have any women in your friend group? Most relationships are with people who start out as friends-of-friends that grow closer during social interactions over time.
What makes you think I have friends if I don't leave home.
Friends are much like vampires. They cannot cross the boundaries of your dwelling unless invited in.
The women I had had in a friend group like that, that I'd known since childhood, got married and/or a demanding career, and then stopped having time to talk or do anything social.
And they don't even have kids, life is still just too demanding for a social life to also exist.
And and, I am realtively odd in that I am a guy who grew up with more female close friends than male friends, who got invited to the otherwise girls-only Buffy/Firefly/etc semi-regular watch nights.
But your whole reply here is a non sequitir...
...he's saying that women broadly, you know, women he doesn't already know, loudly said "don't approach us", so, he didn't.
Combine that with late stage capitalism is utterly exhausting, for everyone, and ... women broadly put the burden on themselves to initiate any new relationships with new men, and then did not initiate any new platonic relationships with new men.
Your reply is 'wait you just don't already know a bunch of women?' Yes, obviously, duh, its inherent in the premise of their statement, in the context of the post.
The whole thing at discussion here is meeting new people. Your answer is 'what, you don't just already know people?'
This is an antagonistically useless thing to say.
Nope, not once in my life. But granted, I studied for a male dominated degree, I work in a male dominated area and I can't afford "attractive" hobbies. Being a first gen immigrant in a very conservative public school system doesn't exactly leave you with a blooming social circle either.
I'm also severely depressed, poor, not exactly charismatic and not easy on the eyes.
I know, I am a real catch :) /s
I'm funny tho, at least so I've been told irl. I was also told that being funny would be enough. But turns out it's more of a deal-closer not the entire deal. If all you have is "funny", you might as well put on the makeup and go be a clown.
I have a steady job as the Universes bad example.
I did have two women make an attempt. But my autistic ass was too oblivious to understand until someone explained it to me later on. One of them even undressed down to her underwear in front of me, despite me only knowing her for like 2 days. Apparently that could be a sign, together with the fact that she was weirdly obsessed with me. Unfortunately my cousin got incredibly jealous of her, so she ended the friendship with her. Never met her again after that (we live 200 km apart and didn't have each other's number).
I do, but they’re all in long term relationships.
I may be getting downvoted for this but women do want to be approached, you just have to have 400 IQ and make it work.
As an autistic person I already fail because I cannot read their expressions, but some women will do things like touch your forearms or smile a lot at you. These signals like any other needs careful thinking because some women just like to play and flirt.
Women in 2026 do not want to feel like they're being preyed on, having a welcoming but safe body language is an extremely difficult game.
I think our societal norms for dating will shift as no one likes the dating apps, who knows what's next.
If you're autistic and you fail at reading facial expressions, study them, academically. Like, find papers on this, read up on it.
Its more to do with microexpressions and minor details, and the underlying mechanisms of anatomy and how emotions affect the human body.
Think of the difference between a real smile, where the upper cheeks and lower/outer eyes shift upward along with the smile, vs a fake/forced smile that only involves the mouth.
Think about how a major difference between dogs and wolves is that dogs, as our human partners, literally evolved more eyebrow muscles to be able to communicate their emotional state to us more effectively.
Its not that you can't read expressions, its that your model for doing so is wrong, its too simplistic.
You don't need a 400 IQ, you just need patience and humility. Its not a one size fits all perfect rule set that works 100% the same on every different person, but we are all human, with fundamentally the same basic anatomy and physiological wiring.
Nah, I'm full on defensive and guarded until very clear words are said
I mean, absolutely fair, I'm just trying to say this is a thing you can study independently, and then when you're ready, have as a kind of improved toolset for evaluating social interactions.
Though I also totally understand just being fucking traumatized by normies seemingly expecting you to read their minds and then getting angry at you for not being able to do so.
I'm autistic too, it has been a struggle, lol.
Not trying to pressure you into more immediate, complex social interactions, no, not if you are not comfortable with that.
I'm saying its a thing you can read up on, alone, independent study kind of thing. Gradually, eventually useful, when you are ready.
When they say they want to dismantle gender roles, they only mean the gender roles that they perceive as disadvantageous for them. They still want men to perform the gender roles that are disadvantageous for men.
Taking the risk of making the first move is just one example. They don't want that responsibility, they just want guys who aren't attractive to them to stop trying to make a first move. Might as well rephrase it as "Just give up, loser. No one will ever love you" because that's basically the sentiment that's hiding behind "stop approaching women," especially when it's followed up with something like "why won't men notice me?"
Those are some broad brush strokes.
I've spoken to Women, and they've offered to bring this up on the next Womens meeting this Thursday. I doubt you've ever spoken to a woman, you probably don't even know the secret handshake. Go back to Twitter.
~~You're a dumbass~~. I read the opinions of women. I didn't just pull this out of my ass. Clearly you don't take the time to listen to the things they say and internalize it, because if you did you would have heard the message loud and clear: "women don't want to be approached by men they don't know"
If you're pretending no woman has ever expressed that, then you haven't spent much time listening to them. And if you hear that and conclude "I can write myself an exception and approach women because I'm me, then you're the problem; not the guys who say "Heard you loud and clear; I will adjust my expectations and learn to be content with single life."
[Edit: it was a bit uncalled for]
You do have a point, but you've applied it to every aspect of all women and you sound short sighted. That was the theme of my previous post and you missed it. You've read what some women want you to read, and have reacted in a way that is advantageous to them and their goals. This does not extend to all women, like at all - it's not even possible ( you can't even explain how it works ). I know plenty of women that like to be approached, I know plenty that don't. People are always more interesting and diverse than what your ideologies can explain. You've put both feet in a bear trap and jumped my friend. You're so wrapped up in assumptions you've missed the forest for the trees, probably for someone else's gain. Whatever twitter handles you follow, or Manophere youtubers you listen to, it's not constructive to your individual experience in anyway that related to women. I'm sorry, it's just not. That means it's stupid, and you should try something else.
Okay, I'll admit it was an overly broad generalization, and I shouldn't have called you a dumbass. So I'm sorry for that. I was a bit heated because the other commenter had me riled up.
But I'll start this by saying I don't follow any fucking twitter handles or manosphere youtubers. I'm chagrined that you would even assume that about me. You have me mispegged, and that's causing you to view everything I say through a lens where you're already making assumptions about the intent.
I've listened to the opinions of many women. I've read what they say online and in women's support spaces. Yes, that doesn't mean it represents the opinion of every woman, but to discount it entirely just because it can't be framed as an absolute would be the wrong approach.
The best conclusion one can draw is, that of the women who have expressed their opinions in formats that I have access to, the majority of them seem to agree on the "man versus bear" narrative. And if I, upon learning that, don't conclude "so I shouldn't approach women then," then I'd be in the wrong.
Even if there's a smaller percentage who think "But I want to be approached," the reality is, I can't read their mind, and I'm not going to guess. There's no way for me to spot "Oh this woman wants to be approached" from visual cues alone. So I'm going to err on the side of caution and treat every woman like she wants to be left alone.
Anything else and I'd be in the wrong. So if you really want to claim I'm being toxic and misogynist by literally going out of my way and changing my behavior based on what I've learned in order to make sure women feel more comfortable in public, then this is a really topsy turvy world and there would be no point in trying to comprehend something so self-contradictory.
A lot of these are just that, Narratives. No woman would jump into the arms of the bear, literally. Focusing on the details of wanting to be approached or not, it's playing to the whims of content creators and rage baiters. People are people. If you see an attractive woman, make a move, and move on. So much of this just melts away under scrutiny. It's only supposed to distract and serve the ad loops we're all trapped in, not us. It's not constructive, leave it behind.
But I don't want to make women feel uncomfortable. That's the core of the issue. If approaching them or treating them as a potential dating partner even might do that, then I won't do it. That's the sum of what I'm trying to say.
Bruh we're all uncomfortable. Pretty much most of the time. Don't rationalize or overthink it. You can't plan for when you'll make someone uncomfortable at the best of times.
That's a lie. You never know a result of approaching. She might be not in mood or crazy or friendly. You are not doing bad things by approaching. You are not r aping her. Just approach and if you don't like her personality back off
I thing you and I have vastly different experiences with rejection.