My boomer nephew tells me stories of when he was in school in the mid 60s and girls would glue slices of bologna to their knees to use as kneepads, I guess because the bologna was skin colored they were able to hide the fact that they were huge pussies who wear protective gear so their peers wouldn't make fun of them. Goddamn what a fun time the 60s must have been.
My dad used to dress up as Piccolo from dbz and beat me in my sleep with his custom made ocarina when I was 22 years old. It always pissed me off because he would call it his piccolo but it wasn't a goddamn flute it was an ocarina. So when he died 4 years ago I dressed up as Piccolo at his funeral and beat his corpse with that same ocarina. Everyone gave me a standing ovation and clapped so hard a few attendees dislocated their wrists, one even degloved their hand. So when the paramedics came I told them my dad died.
I tried slipping into my neighbour's pet turtle's gynecologist's DMs and she gave me the same excuses. I was pretty upset so I covered my hands in corn starch and clapped them on my wiener until I had a good amount of pain. I then cried myself to sleep and woke up the next day to my neighbour's pet turtle knocking on my bedroom window. He wanted to let me know that he was dropping her as his gynecologist because he's not even a female turtle and she's just some weird lady who hangs out at the bus station. So I went down to the bus station and confronted her, we ended up hitting it off and now we've been married for 52 years.
Because he understood that I didn't like it and respected my wishes to not be called that
My great grandpa used to call me chicken cock Santa until I asked him to stop and then he just stopped.
I'm already home, where should I go
After my vasectomy I stopped jacking off to the Teletubbies and started making my own NFTs featuring Mr Burns telling Smithers to suck his dick. Best decision I ever made, can't reproduce and I made a ton of money. It's a shame I didn't get to live to enjoy it all, 3 days ago I died from an overdose in a Walmart fitting room.
All aboard the
Umbrella
Train
In
Someone's
Mind
I prefer NI slop bot, this intelligence is all natural my dear gonad monkey.
The thing about this meme that's actually completely unrelated is that eating grapes really makes me feel like a raccoon. A raccoon munching is all I can picture when I eat a grape and I close my eyes and crunch it.
The strait of Hormuz is a McDonald's ice cream machine.
Yes, no, maybe so around the corner something something... I don't get it