this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2026
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memes

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[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 46 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That is not where the cone goes

[–] starik@lemmy.zip 77 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah it goes around your mom’s neck

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

That doesn't make sense? She's way too fat to lick herself anymore?

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 33 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Why did they give bro that speaker icon irl?

[–] funkajunk@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] silver@das-eck.haus 2 points 3 months ago

Handheld fetty wap, imagine what we could do with this technology

[–] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 27 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (4 children)

After my vasectomy I stopped jacking off to the Teletubbies and started making my own NFTs featuring Mr Burns telling Smithers to suck his dick. Best decision I ever made, can't reproduce and I made a ton of money. It's a shame I didn't get to live to enjoy it all, 3 days ago I died from an overdose in a Walmart fitting room.

[–] AZX3RIC@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

What a ride.

[–] muxika@piefed.muxika.org 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That's enough internet for me. Everybody, go home.

[–] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm already home, where should I go

[–] billybob@lemmy.zip 3 points 3 months ago

You’re doing great!

How good is the internet connection in the afterlife?

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Okay, but the image idea for those NFTs is fantastic. Smithers would be so into that.

[–] homes@piefed.world 15 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

So much easier just being gay, just sayin’

😛

edit: sorry, guys-- I shouldn't be joking about other men's balls 🤪

[–] SippyCup@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Venat0r@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

or trans women

[–] homes@piefed.world 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

sure... so do i... although, I'm guessing not for the same reasons you do 😁

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 12 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I'm going for mine next week. Can't wait!

[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 9 points 3 months ago

Oh my god, I've been reading "I'm going for nine". Nine what? Children? Get a cone of shame you maniac!

[–] nightwatch_admin@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

No more happy little accidents?

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

No woman shall have my seed!

[–] nightwatch_admin@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

I hope the username won’t check out btw

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

it's a pretty mild procedure. Nerve wracking, but the pain level overall is quite low. I was more stressed than anything.

[–] prettybunnys@piefed.social 1 points 3 months ago

A coworker at happy hour told us he had to be fully anesthetized cuz despite being sedated and numbed his boys were still hyper responsive and would retract up against him every time the doctor started getting close lmao

[–] nevetsg@aussie.zone 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Dropping pants in front of the Dr and his female nurse was the most freaky part. But I quickly relaxed into it.
Make sure you bring one of those soft gel freezer bags to shove into your underwear for the trip home.

[–] mybuttnolie@sopuli.xyz 1 points 3 months ago

the trip back is probably when i will be glad we have air suspension

[–] realitista@lemmus.org 5 points 3 months ago (3 children)

you're supposed to put it on the injured part

[–] LurkingLuddite@piefed.social 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Nah, cone of shame is always on the part that agitates the area. The vast majority of dogs/cats with a cone of shame didn't have surgery anywhere near their head.

[–] realitista@lemmus.org 3 points 3 months ago

You're right I'm an idiot.

[–] jjagaimo@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

The cone prevents the grasper from touching the injured area

[–] Venat0r@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

nah it just needs to be effective at stopping the injurious behavior: it should be like a giant tutu to be effective...

[–] Son_of_Macha@lemmy.cafe 3 points 3 months ago

A vasectomy has no effect on your penis and you actually have to ejaculate as much as possible over the following 3 months to clear all the semen out of your system.

[–] zigmus64@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Except that after about 48 hours or so, it’s on… gotta flush those pipes… I was told 30 ejaculations before I needed to go in and provide a sample to verify sterility.