We call it, The Aristocrats!
this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2026
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We have a winner.
I miss him. The whole story of why he even went into that routine has been scrubbed from film but it's so legendary
Better Nate than lever
Best joke ever if you can actualky tell it!
Still remember the time my dad called me demanding 40 minutes of his life back
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One baby nailed to ten trees.
The Pope looks up and says, "You fuckers are my kind of people."
Sits back, lights a cigarette and says "you know, you cunts are alright"
And the penguin says, "Nah, that's just ice cream."
To get to the other side
You don’t understand. This was actually the first joke, so while it may not be funny to us, it was hilarious to the people who first heard it, and all other humor ultimately derived from this one joke
Maybe it got hit by a car and the "other side" is the afterlife
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Orange you glad
The Aristocrats!
Yup. This is the one.
Eric Clapton wouldn’t let his bag of cocaine fall out a window.
So the pharmacist says, "I've got just the thing to stop that coffin!"
“Grandma… so that’s how you died…”
You're a real mean drunk, Superman.
punches you in the face
...you asked for a punchline, don't be mad at me
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It's the cobblestones.
He sh*t in my pants too!
It's not a bacon tree, it's a ham bush.
"He stands on a leaf and waits until Autumn." (Punchline to a joke I read in grade 3 from the 70's.)
Is an elephant involved? I think I know this one but had completely forgotten about it until I read this.
Yup. The joke spoiler..
How does an elephant get down from a tree?
It's such an incredibly lame joke that it's still burned into my brain nearly 5 decades later.
What are you crying about, I gotta walk out of here alone?
So I thought to myself, is that how she died?
And thats why cornflakes are better than cheerios.
- overheard in the playground around 30 years ago and remains unexplained to this day. The kid would not repeat the joke for me. It remains the object of largest difference between importance and intrigue in my head.
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Wrecked him? Damn near killed him!
I got bad news, you are out of paint and that's not a porch, it's a Mercedes.
Because Nyquil stops the coffin'.
Heard this one as a "spooky ghost story" around the campfire at a summer camp when I was 11 and it was the funniest thing I had ever heard.
You take your foot off its head
I feel like I need to qualify that I understand this is where I write the punchline to a joke, and that I am not accientally typing this into a search engine.
spoiler
Sexy kids
one hatched and already stole a bike.
Worst? They both come/cum on little white crackers. Wurst! I asked him to send me a link.
None
I have to walk out of here alone
Isn’t it disgusting?
You poor dear! Don't you have a vase?
That's a good one (lemmy didnt like it when it got posted though haha)
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