this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 75 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The real battleship cheat was marking the opponents shots as well as your own and moving ships accordingly. I mean, it's not like real ships don't move.

[–] Hazel@piefed.blahaj.zone 32 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Don't you always mark the opponent's shots?

[–] Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

They didn't come with enough markers originally to do that. The only way i was able to as a kid was because we had the peices from a second game set.

[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 weeks ago

It’s always had way more miss markers than we ever needed. And it was in the mid 80s

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I suppose strictly speaking you only need to mark the hits. If you're not cheating, your opponent's misses don't really matter much.

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[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I must be not that bright because I played many games of battleship in my childhood and never even considered the possibility.

[–] Starik@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You’re not allowed to reposition after the game starts

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Maybe you aren't. ITT we cheatin'.

[–] red_bull_of_juarez@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Please. We are simply introducing an element of realism.

[–] hanke@feddit.nu 4 points 2 weeks ago

Battleships 2 Electric Bogaloo

[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 27 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (11 children)

That has zero strategic advantage. it only hurts your odds of winning.

*Edit: Since this has gotten a fair amount of debate, let me end it for the couple of youl who think I'm incorrect.

When played normally, the odds of finding the 5 spot ship are much higher than finding the 2 spot ship (duh).

You have essentially made a single 5 spot ship by stacking.

When your opponent lands a hit, they are required to state what ship was struck. This means that once there's a hit made on those ships, you have to name off ALL the ships under the peg.

You transformed a game where you had to find a 5 peg ship, 4 peg, 3 peg, and a 2 peg ship into a game where all you have to do is find the easiest ship to locate (5 peg) and you win the game.

This is a no brainer.

Also, just for the record, it is against the rules to stack ships.

[–] restingOface@quokk.au 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (5 children)

The grid is 10x10, so 100 spaces. Placed legally, your five ships take up 17 spaces. That means if your opponent picks a space at random, there is a 17% chance they will get a hit.

It you cheat like this, your five ships only take up 5 spaces. That means if your opponent picks a space at random, there is a 5% chance they will get a hit.

So, purely based on chance, this increases the odds of your opponent not beating you. You just have to make sure to also be on the offensive and sink all their battleships quickly, because if they happen to hit your battlestack just once, that means they are going to sink it all within the next 4-7 turns.

[–] binarytobis@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

If you had a ship on every possible space, they would have a 100% chance of landing a hit, so by your logic this would be worse. But it would take 100 turns to sink you, which is the best possible outcome.

Having only one 5 space ship is objectively worse than having one five space ship and all the others. Unless of course you also created a new rule that they have to hit the same spot multiple times, once for each ship.

At that point you’re just playing Calvin Ball, though, and you might as well put the ships under your chair and claim “You never said floor!”

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[–] Kacarott@aussie.zone 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

What you calculated are not the chances of the opponent not beating you, you calculated the chance of getting the first hit. But it is the last ship being hit that will make you lose.

Imagine player A using a regular strategy, and B using this stacking strategy. Now imagine that B gets insanely lucky and sinks all of A's ships except their largest one, without missing any at all (while A keeps missing all their shots). So now, even after all that insane luck from player B, who has a better chance of winning? At this point, they both have only 5 spaces which can be hit, and any hit will quickly end the game, so they both have 50% chance to win right?

This means that clearly if B doesn't get insanely lucky in the first turns of the game, then A will have much better chances to win. A's chance to win reduces to it's absolute minimum at 50% when it has only one single 5-length ship left.

[–] DrSteveBrule@mander.xyz 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

When the smallest ship (can't remember what its called) is destroyed, you would then tell your opponent that they sunk it. It would be unlikely that they would continue to strike the next space in that row/column.

[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

According to the rules (which also state you can't stack ships. Lol) you're supposed to state which ship was hit.

This means that you would have to say the names of all the ships that just got hit. Also, if you were trying to skirt that rule by not saying the names of all the ships underneath, and only saying the name of the top ship, the odds that both if your opponents first guesses that struck would hit the 2 spot ship are pretty low.

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[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Does 1 hit cause damage to all the ships in the stack that occupy the hit space? Or does only the top-most ship take the damage such that the top ships shield the bottom ones?

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[–] Allero@lemmy.today 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (6 children)

Most iterations of the game assume you cannot place ships right next to each other. So, when you down a ship in a normal configuration, you immediately know the surroundings are free of ships.

In this placement, all but these 4 cells will not give you such an advantage. Therefore, the tactic is advantageous as it keeps the opponent with less intel.

Correction: digging deeper, it seems like many people know Battleship by the Hasbro/Milton Bradley edition, which doesn't have this rule. But the game itself is much older, and many of its editions do include the rule. At the very least, this rule is highly popular in Russia, Germany and Spain.

[–] restingOface@quokk.au 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Allero@lemmy.today 9 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Huh, I dug down and apparently it's a regional quirk?

Even the Wikipedia article about the game doesn't mention it in English, but does mention it in Russian.

English:

Before play begins, each player secretly arranges their ships on their primary grid. Each ship occupies a number of consecutive squares on the grid, arranged either horizontally or vertically. The number of squares for each ship is determined by the type of ship. The ships cannot overlap (i.e., only one ship can occupy any given square in the grid) or be placed diagonally.

Russian (translated by yours truly):

The playing field is typically a 10x10 square, on which the fleet is placed. <...> When placed, ships should not touch each other by sides or corners. Some variations may lack this rule.

Also, apparently it is common for the game to have 5-long ships, which don't appear in the Russian versions.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battleship_(game)

https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D0%9C%D0%BE%D1%80%D1%81%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%B9_%D0%B1%D0%BE%D0%B9_(%D0%B8%D0%B3%D1%80%D0%B0)

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I remember playing battleship with one of my cousins while at our grandma's for christmas and I kept winning because they never looked up and noticed the mirror on the ceiling. 😈

[–] JackFrostNCola@aussie.zone 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

...why is there a mirror on the ceiling?
Were you playing on grandmas bed?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Their dining room had a mirrored ceiling. I think their house was from the 70s or some shit.

[–] MML@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Was there any pink champagne on ice by any chance?

[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

And a lot of pineapples in the decor?

[–] regdog@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Wasn't the same picture posted yesterday?

[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 74 points 2 weeks ago

High risk, high reward.

[–] restingOface@quokk.au 36 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I am not seeing it. In this community?

EDIT: Oh, it's a user I have blocked. No wonder I didn't see that before posting this.

[–] Prunebutt@slrpnk.net 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The one from yesterday was slop. This one at least some effort behind it (not much - it's still a shitpost).

[–] degenerate_neutron_matter@fedia.io 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Better a low effort shitpost made by a human than zero effort algorithmic slop.

[–] EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 2 weeks ago

I'll pay top dollar for a stained, crumpled napkin doodle of the thing I'm interested in before I spend a cent on slop.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Good artists copy, great artists steal.

-Me

[–] nightwatch_admin@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

OpenAI friend request incoming

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[–] Miller@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Welcome to the internet, please enjoy your stay.

[–] thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

We've got mountains of content, some better, some worse

[–] Opisek@piefed.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago

If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first

[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It was a different picture, but exactly same meme - I don’t know why people do shit like that

[–] regdog@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe yesterdays post was a slopified AI version, and today is the original photo.

[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

Don’t worry I’ve got backups

The backups:

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 weeks ago

Once you finally get a hit though...it's game over.

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

Battleyachts

[–] Aeao@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

I put all my ships in one little cluster, I play people infrequently that they forget I do that. It’s a pretty good strategy

[–] BenevolentOne@infosec.pub 5 points 2 weeks ago

The best part is, this dumb cheater has strictly reduced their odds of victory. This is bait.

[–] Danarchy@lemmy.nz 3 points 2 weeks ago

Ah yes the straddle-ship strat

[–] Miller@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

That's high visibility, can be seen over the top of the board.

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