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I’m becoming a grandpa at 43. Mildly infuriating, 'cause there are way worse things in life.
This could be fantastic for you, you'll be fit enough to play football with the grandkids when they're inevitably dumped on you for babysitting
Dumped is maybe not the right phrasing. Throughout history extended family and friends have helped raising children.
There is a difference between a planned child with a support system behind them helping and an unplanned teen pregnancy where the mother and father are unfit to take care of a human child and the grandparents have to take on a parent role almost full time while the teens finish school (as an example).
Yeah but there are a lot of assumptions in that. I try not to jump to conclusions, especially not negative ones. We all understand that this can go to shit in a million different ways. It can also go well.
But if you look at history, there are a lot of unplanned pregnancies which resulted in shotgun weddings and extended family structures which supported these events.
Ah man. That sucks. Your daughter, like most teenagers, doesn't have a fucking clue what she's signed up for or that she is placing a major burden on her parents. Unfortunately for her, she's about to enter the "find out" stage.
It's bad. But it doesn't have to stay bad. My wife comes from a generational line of teenage pregnances. Hell, she was your daughters age when she got pregnant. She told the sperm donor to fuck off when it was clear that he was more interested in drugs and petty crime than being a parent.
If you ask my wife today if she regrets becoming a teen mom, she will say, "No. Because it forced me to take responsibility for my kids life, and by extension my life. Something I wasn't willing to do when it was just me."
She got her shit together. I hope the same for your daughter. The current situation sucks ass. But there's still a lot of potential for a good outcome. Your kid is lucky to have a family that cares about her enough to support her and hold her accountable.
Sucks that we live in a society (at least here in the US) that doesn't do more for teen mothers, all because of the "sin" of wanting to have an orgasm. (and they just ignore that sexual release is a biological imperative.)
Best of luck.
Hey my country has been loudly and proudly proclaiming that teen pregnancies are too low so maybe that will change here lmfaooooo
That is just wild to me. :)
I feel like this isn't a "mildly infuriating" moment
Their daughter is 16, the boyfriend 18.
Edit: it clicked after I posted. You mean it's more than "mildly". Agreed.
Brain no work today.
I have four children, and all of them are adults. I don't think I will ever be a grandpa. I hope you will take your grandpa duties seriously and think about exactly what you want to be, and who you want to be.
I'm in a position to say felicitations. You got to have a partner, an offspring, will get to do grandpa things before you are too old and wizened to really enjoy them. Life is short but its road is better shared with loved ones.
Keep writing the narrative in your head-and-heart-bit like it is the beginning of a great adventure.
How was the birth control talks like? Was there any discussion about getting an iud?
Dang, and here I am in my early 40's with a 4 year old. I wish you luck, from the comments here you definitely don't sound very excited and rightfully so. Kids don't realize what they will lose when they have a kid that young. The best years of my life were my early 20's mostly due to the freedom to do whatever I wanted without the burden of the world coming down on me yet.
I guess the best part is that you are definitely young enough to see your grandkid grow up as well and be able to spend quality time with everyone. My parents had me at 21 and their parents had them in their early 20's as well so I am one of the few people I know that still has grandparents at my age. Even my wifes grandparents are gone and so are her parents and gives me some perspective on why its about the only good reason to have a kid younger rather than later.
Okay i don't want to shit on your parenting here but that is certainly something to have happen at age 17. Unfortunate that the kids felt not comfortable asking for or obtaining protection themselves.
Thing is, it wasn’t an accident. The boyfriend’s family is wealthy, so their line of thinking was: “There’s money, why not be young parents? It’s so romantic.”
Holy shit, that takes this post to another level.
Good luck to everyone involved.
Let's hope their relationship doesn't go sour, or that wealth is going to hire a suite of attorneys to ensure your family gets as little access to that child as possible
Try not to presume the worst, OP. I hope the in-laws provide parenting and meditation classes. Maybe a nanny?
Her boyfriend’s mom is super excited and told them that, since she’s a rich, bored housewife with nothing to do, she can take care of the baby and they can do whatever they want.
Depending on how things go, that's how you lose access to your grandchild
That's...not really teaching them parenting. But maybe she will? Do you know them? Do they have decent values (other than teen pregnancy)? I would encourage getting to know them and being involved in your child's and grandchild's lives, and avoiding alienation. That means some give and take, from everyone. I wish you and everyone all the best.
That's how life goes, things don't always go the way we'd hoped. I'm betting you are going to be happy as soon as you set eyes on the little crotch goblin
Yeah, I foresee a few quiet walks alone around the block in your future.
Hah.
I almost became one at 28 (stepdaughter who I raised), then she had twins right after I turned 31. Great grandparent at 54.
The deed happened when my wife and I were on our honeymoon. I like to tell my adult granddaughter that she lived for a while in the room she was conceived in. As an adult.
From what I've read of your responses, you point the finger at the boy's parents for encouraging it because they're wealthy. Were you not aware when you let him stay with you for the holidays? Isn't it fairly obvious what would happen if you're condoning them being together like that in the first place? I can appreciate being in an unideal situation, but from the outside it appears you helped to craft it.
If you want to have sex, you’ll find a way, a place, and a time. All you can do is educate; no one was aware of their secret plan at the time.
I'm betting there wasn't a plan in place at all.
My grandma was 40 when I was born lol