this post was submitted on 07 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 300 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Am I out of touch? No, it's all of society outside of my congregation that's wrong.

That isn't a joke, Christians are deliberately conditioned to believe this.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 102 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Well, it IS a joke. They're a joke.

Just not the funny kind.

[–] Little8Lost@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (5 children)
[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

WOOOOOO!!!!

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[–] rslogix89@lemmy.world 124 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 162 points 1 week ago (5 children)
[–] backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 48 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Tyrq@lemmy.dbzer0.com 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Rehance, Dehance, and drop out

[–] funkajunk@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 59 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] chortle_tortle@mander.xyz 16 points 1 week ago

It is really a meme if it doesn't have boomer aspect ratio issues?

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[–] CandyPants@lemmy.ml 111 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Buy that kid a year of premium and toss him a joint.

Anyone else tired of the most hateful people you know lecturing you about whats moral?

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 24 points 1 week ago

Totally tired. And they're Mostly exactly into the very same thing, they so despise publicly. "The hub"...bet this douche uses it more than the Lil hero here.

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[–] otacon239@lemmy.world 99 points 1 week ago

Hell yeah brother. Represent.

[–] areakode@riskeratspizza.com 90 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Wait... Bro, you're punishing him... For doing the things that I do every day? Rock on, dude!

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] areakode@riskeratspizza.com 15 points 1 week ago

And MY AXE!

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[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Get out there and stand on the corner with him. Before long, more people will join & soon you'll have a whole crowd of chronic pot-smoking masturbators gathered in solidarity & you can exchange contact info for future smoke & stroke gatherings.

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[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 61 points 1 week ago

From memory, I'd say it's pretty normal for a 14yo boy to be whacking off all the time.

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 58 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Feed him a stew that makes him go blind for 1 day.

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 18 points 1 week ago

1 day blind stew is the way to go, I can confirm.

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[–] BigDiction@lemmy.world 53 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I would 💯 give a honk and a 🤙 for the young lad. Lotta life left to live!

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[–] shiv@sh.itjust.works 47 points 1 week ago

I wish I had my shit together as much as this kid does at his age. He's got it figured out.

[–] bagsy@lemmy.world 46 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Make him smoke a whole carton of the reefers and watch every video on the 'Hub', that will show him.

[–] kieron115@startrek.website 74 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] happy_wheels@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Can't believe I had to scroll down this far for this.

[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm a massage therapist and I'll never forget one particular client 2 years ago had a remarkably muscular right forearm, a twinkle in his eye, and the rest of his body was as muscular as jello.

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[–] Bluedragon012@lemmy.world 45 points 1 week ago (5 children)

He is a little young to be doing weed, needs a conversation about its effects on younger minds. As for porn, time for proper sex Ed. no punishment needed, more education needed.

(to be clear the weed take is imo, not fact, do what's best for you)

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Oh, we don't do compassion and positive reinforcement around here.

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[–] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Now you make him smoke the whole pack of joints and watch all the porn.

"Don't come out of your room until you finish your report on sounding and gaping."

[–] Hypnotoad_@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 week ago

This kid will be alright

[–] frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

An out of control child would not stand out there for 5 hours, he would choke you until you pass out and stop bothering him.

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 41 points 1 week ago (5 children)

"Out of control" means different things to christo-fascists.

To them, it means 'doesn't do exactly what I say at all times'.

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[–] Rubanski@discuss.tchncs.de 21 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

There it Is, random Capitalization IN The wild.

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[–] jeniferariza@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

That punishment turned into free advertising real fast.

[–] nightwatch_admin@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

OK, so from a parent/caretaker I get that smoking pot (at home) isn’t maybe a great idea to just let happen, but humiliating the kid in front of everyone is an absolute shitshow. Good thing the passers-by were quite a bit more understanding. And the tossing? As long as it’s not in grandma’s salad.. whatever.

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[–] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

Living his best life.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 16 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Make him move rocks into a pile. If he hasn't learned his lesson yet, make him move them into a new pile.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

Not sure what to do

Have you tried not being lame and smoking pot while tossing off with him?

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 week ago (2 children)

If my mom masturbated next to me, that would probably have suppressed my sexdrive well into my 80s.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Ok but what about your dad?

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[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 14 points 1 week ago

What a motherfucking G.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

I would have sprung for a professionally made sandwich board or spinny sign.

I really hope this guy got some high-fives for his trouble.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Plot twist, he was watching auntie femdom porn, where the aunt punishes her nephew. This is his kink.

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