Beep Beep ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฅญ๐๐ฅฅ๐ฅฆ๐ฅ๐ซ๐๐
๐ฅ๐ฅฌ๐ฅ๐ฝ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ง
๐ฅฏ๐๐ฅ๐ฅจ๐ง๐ง๐ฅ๐ง๐ณ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅฉ๐๐๐ซ๐๐๐๐ญ๐ฅ๐ง๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ฆช๐ฅ๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ชผ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ฅฎ๐ข๐ก๐ง๐ฐ๐ง๐ฅง๐ฆ๐จ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฌ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฏ๐ฅโ๏ธ๐ต๐บ๐ถ๐ฅค๐ง๐ง๐ฅ๐ท๐ฅ๐ธ๐น๐ง๐
this post was submitted on 19 Apr 2026
1 points (100.0% liked)
Melbourne
2496 readers
19 users here now
This community is a place created for the people of Melbourne and Victoria. We are a positive, welcoming and inclusive community. We might not agree about everything, but we always strive to stay civil and respectful.
The focus of our discussions is based around things that affect Victoria, but we are also free to discuss our local perspective on wider issues. Or head to the regular Daily Random Discussion thread to talk about anything.
Ongoing discussions, FAQs & Resources (still under construction)
Adoption Certificate for Nellie, the Daily Thread numbat (with thanks to @Catfish)
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
Can I please have a marijuana cigarette, a flat white, and some toasted banana bread with butter?
Make that 2 please
We have something stronger ๐๐ฌโ๏ธ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐๐ง
We have something stronger ๐๐ฌโ๏ธ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐๐ง
๐ค
some lemon tea and pseudophedrine please
๐โ๏ธ๐๐
Some prophylatic chicken soup please chef.
๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ง ๐ง๐ซ๐๐ฒ
I think you've turned into the seedy part of town.
We have seen worse. Our after eight business is rather profitable.
the snottening makes me feel like mr mackie
a day of rest I think
Dear cat jesus,
I know you're busy, but please let this new workplace be normal.
I will distribute the appropriate treats amongst your followers.
โ๐ฑ โ
๐๐บ๐
I'm not sure praying to cat jesus is the best option. It is possible all of your problems are caused by too much attention from cat jesus, who thinks it's fun to keep knocking you off the shelf.
Maybe dog jesus would be better for this specific situation, dogs understand the importance of a good pack.
I feel like my ancestors have bought me a little wiggle room. Then again, cats...
I'll put in a word with our lord and saviour Maxwell the blithe.
(Sammy is suspect at this point is more of a loki. Don't go there)
ok back to bed ๐ท๐ค๐คง๐คข๐ค๐ฅด
Holiday starts on Friday, here's hoping I'm kept well occupied this week or I'm going to be climbing the walls here. Oh, wait, I'll be doing that anyway.
Fucking bitch has stolen my desk ๐คฌ
need more deets
Somebody I dislike got in before me and pinched a 'shared' desk on my usual day. I now have no second screen, no barcode scanner, and a bunch of other minor nuisances.
Just to add to the work rant - fucking bitch is a brown nosing fucking tattle tail. Texting one of the directors every little bit of gossip or grumble she hears. Ew.
load more comments
(1 replies)
It wouldn't have been a great night out without me getting wasted and stacking it on slight decline walking to the tram.
Thankful to bottom racer for pulling me off the road ๐
tw minor road rash, open skin deep wound
In such an awkward spot too, the heel of my hand. I've lathered it in Dettol, will reapply; I don't like the look of some of that yellow lol
I want to give my undying gratitude to Catfish for hosting and providing entertainment. They are wonderful company and it was just wonderful!
I made the cupcakes, but catfish made the decorations!!!!! GIVE THEM PRAISE!!
Ouch! Lovely to see you. Hello Kitty to avoid accidental vodka ๐
Cute cupcakes!
๐๐๐ the vodka was definitely making its way around.
ooh ouch!
Had a great time with youse all :)
Ouch! I hope you heal fast!
It would be nice to attend these shindigs but currently not able to, I hope you had a wonderful time.
Cuuuuute cupcakes!! They look great! I'm sad I had to miss this one, looking forward to seeing you guys again!!
Electrical safety check will be happening shortly. Mr Woof is going to be very unhappy about this. I'm hoping the tester is lazy and cuts corners to get it over and done with. Electrical safety is important, but it's a brand new house, doing a full check seems a bit of overkill.
Edit: just realised how visible my underwear is on the clothes line. I've brought those in, I don't care if Miss Meow sees it but some random stranger feels a bit weird.
2nd edit: done already! Mr Woof had no idea what was going on but he was not happy about it. He gets so confused when anybody comes inside, he doesn't know whether to aggressively guard territory or welcome the new friend, leading to very confused behaviour. A lot of friendly waggles combined with angry barks.
It looks like my plan to use the govt. 5% deposit guarantee scheme won't work out. They make you use all of your savings, so I won't be able to keep aside enough money to do the maintenance (like restumping) that a house of the age I'm looking at is going to need. I guess it's back to paying mortgage insurance and/or asking for help from family. Frustrating.
Heavy discussions last night.
Looking at intervention for ol' girl. I can't get that weight up if she keeps refusing ensure (she keeps tipping it down the sink when it's mixed up ready to go in). Was blamed by her. It's irrational.
Meltdown if you do, meltdown (and severe consequences) if you don't. "All you want to do is get rid of me".
Stuck.
Can't do anything right, just falls on its face.
We're well beyond gentle suggestion.
When she goes in it'll be stressful and miserable for her (bad for non-amnestic MCI), more nutrition and on a drip (good for NA MCI), no excercise (bad).
What do you do. What the correct thing to do (peg and drip) is also wrong.
How tf do you weigh this up w/o feeling guilt.
No guilt here mate. She's clearly not in a fit mental state to handle her health. Once she starts being managed properly you may find the whole thing becomes unnecessary because she's back on track. But right now they're drowning
Weigh this up w/o feeling guilt - I don't reckon there's a way that doesn't involve some sort of guilt feelings. Question of what sort and for what.
spoiler
At this point I reckon that you've done a damn sight more than is strictly required, so the coulda and shoulda sort of guilt is not operating. The woulda sort of guilt - well, she's your Mum and you love her. In spite of all the current difficulties.
Imo, and this is strictly my own opinion, is that one of her current hungers is for agency. The question is, does that hunger hit harder than physical food hunger - and imo it currently does. And independent agency is contraindicated due to other factors.
You're battling a shit storm rn, and there are no good or right answers. All you can do is the best you can in the circumstances, and try to sleep at night. Feel for you.
You will feel guilt. But for a good reason.
You're trying to do what's best for her, and it's being throw back in your face.
Guilt is normal in this situation.
In this scenario, you're not the problem. You're actively trying to find a solution, but it's getting harder and harder.
I hope you stay strong through the ordeal.
I'm sorry if this comes across the wrong way bro, but it sounds like there's no scenario here where you don't feel bad.
The best you can do, is pick the option that is the best for your mums health.
I'm sorry you and your family are going through such a difficult time โค๏ธ
Not much to add to the other advice except that if she can have full medical attention and at least some food into her some of the anxiety and other issues might reduce. I have seen that happen with my ex-gradma in law. Refused everything, couldn't manage meds, told her daughter the most awful things when she was moved to a home, but she thrived there. Might not help, but it's pretty awful now plus you are trying to just keep her alive. Get the professionals in so you can be there in other ways.
You feel guilt because you care. Not much you can do about that. You've done everything possible and more. It's a hard time right now. Much love to you and your family. โค๏ธ
Itโs ok. She would have gone downhill and potentially had a bad end if it wasnโt for your persistence and care. Ignore her criticism, sheโs not thinking rationally right now. She canโt tip the Ensure down the sink and then blame you for weight loss now can she? And she canโt be distressed about the weight loss and still yell at you for pushing the food. Thatโs not reasonable or fair.
spoiler
I completely understand the stress. Youโre in a double bind where youโre damned if you do and damned if you donโt. When I find myself in one of those I just try to pick the least worst option. Usually thatโs guided by legal guidelines or what I morally should do. In an imperfect system it doesnโt always work out well butโฆ itโs some kind of compass.
I think conversations need to be had about olโ girls mental state in regards to making decisions and who is legally in charge of decisions around her.
It may be that if sheโs to be supported to maintain her weight she may be forced to do things she doesnโt want to (hospital stay, medication, carers, interventions around nutrition) and you may have to work out if you or someone else have the legal authority to do that. Definitely have her assessed and take her during her worst day so that they can see whatโs happening. Also - people with dementia can do this thing called โshowtimingโ where theyโre able to get it together enough to hide it, so definitely document whatโs been going on.
Another side of it is that her body may be winding down and doesnโt need nutrition. But thatโs a conversation for her doctor. If she isnโt coming to the end of her life and food refusal is related to pain, dementia, or changes to behaviour resulting from TBI - there are things that can be done.
If you want to keep pushing with the nutrition and her receiving care? Work out where you stand legally first and get supports on side, then you and the medical team can decide how to go forward.
(Unfortunately by now she may not be deemed to have the mental capacity to be allowed to designate a person, so you may have to apply through VCAT, state trustees, or go to court. You can decide whether itโs you or appoint someone else, including a lawyer.)
https://www.publicadvocate.vic.gov.au/your-rights/enduring-power-of-attorney#5vcat.vic.gov.au/
https://www.statetrustees.com.au/resources/power-of-attorney-guide/
https://justiceconnect.org.au/resources/powers-of-attorney-in-victoria/
There are also different types which govern what decisions you or the person can make for her.
(This is a good explanation but itโs a business in NSW so be aware some things might change in VIC - it doesnโt mention supportive power of attorney https://www.careforfamily.com.au/blog/getting-power-of-attorney-parent-spouse-with-dementia/)
https://www.legalaid.vic.gov.au/powers-attorney
And Iโm really sorry if discussing this sounds cold or brutal. It kind of does. But this isnโt intended to strong-arm your mum into things she doesnโt want to do. Itโs to ensure you or someone else is able to act in her best interests, make decisions about medical care, and also to protect her from exploitation.
I have my eye squarely on your brother when I say that last part. From what you say about comments heโs made, itโs very possible that he intends to take advantage of your mum around matters of the will, or may even sneakily take from her funds or manipulate โgiftsโ of money while sheโs alive. Having someone else in place may prevent that.
I am so sorry youโre dealing with this bro.
If it helps sometimes it gets less stressful when youโve made a decision or at least have a plan going forward.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Kittens starting to be allowed into more parts of house unsupervised. Process was delayed by the fact that despite our entire house is cat friendly - and designed around cats we've literally had since birth - these two maniacs have invented new and interesting means of chaos. Sammy is losing his shit sideways at everything and Max is watching with glee
Pics?
I found someone to take the strays.
I just need to trap them and get them spayed (vet will do it for free).
The little cat recovery area is set up.
So close now.
Human dentist on the corner of North and Kooyong Rds in Gardenvale might be a bit of a hike for you.
If we didn't currently have to deal with replacement busses, it would be achievable.
Thanks anyway :)
Dentist for yourself or cats?
For myself. I need a filling urgently and my normal place can't get me in till late June.
Parkwood Green Dental in Hillside.
The best clinic in the area.
Travel there could be a pain though
load more comments
(1 replies)
view more: next โบ