Dan, just put the cookies somewhere within reach!
this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2026
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Dan π can't π reach π the π cookies π
god, the reading comprehension on this site
One must imagine Dan has just inherited his mothers house and the most valuable possession there is her world renowned homemade cookies, but they're out of reach
In my experience itβs easier to get a ladder than a girlfriend, but YMMV.
They don't let you buy stuff from the DIY store if you're not manly enough
Dan is either going to need a gf who is tall and strong enough to carry a way-too-big ladder from the store and strap it to the roof of the car, or one who is small enough to smoosh in the back seat and hold the ladder as it hangs precariously out of the open trunk for the ride home.
But must we imagine him happy?
He's not happy because he can't reach the cookies.
Or is he happy precisely because he has something to pursue? π€
Then Dan might eat too many cookies.
Yes, we will need willpower.
Dan said he's looking for a gf. I'm sure Will is nice but he's not invited
Be reasonable.
Dan should not reject a medium girlfriend who like to bake cookies, then he will have an endless supply of warm cookies.
She's a keeper.
A stepladder would be a lot cheaper.
Dan doesn't even have a gf, dude. How's he going to a) get married, and b) marry someone that happens to have a ladder already
Lol thats great
What are you doing, stepladder?
uhhh I can't be little spoon to a step ladder asshole fuckyoufuckyoifuckyoufuckypuhgkkjgdxcsdfffcj
Get a medium girlfriend that can talk to ghosts and instruct them to knock down some cookies from the shelf
Dan seems like an equal opportunities bf.
Except for medium girls.
Girls of any size can adjust their browser settings...
Guy does not need girl (regardless of size) to adjust his browser settings.
Guy can adjust his own browser cookie settings.
... Wait. Have I stumbled into a euphemism?
Or get a cat, they love pushing things down.
Opposites attract, I think Dan will get his cookies in the end.
This is medium erasure
This is so me. I wont settle for medium /hj
What a coincidence, I don't know how to do tarrot readings!
Just keep the cookies on the counter top?
They're is something to be said about the two goblin and amazon end of the spectrum
*monkey's paw curls* Dan gets a small medium at large as his GF