Ask Lemmy

I could bore him to death with Teams meetings.

Marketing strategy powerpoints

Lock that fucker in the burnout oven and see how long they exist at 800°F (~426°C)

An industrial wood chipper (used in saw mills). The disc is 5' 6", holds 6 x 18" knives and can chip an 8' x 15" diametre log in about 1 to 2 seconds.

It is deadly as they come.

Lock them in the server room for a few days, maybe hypothermia?

A germy child that sneezes on its face. Teaching is a constant state of protecting yourself from biological warfare.

You could definitely kill a villain with my laptop, if you fired it with sufficient force from a cannon.

Carpal tunnel slasher can't hold a knife

Recently retired from a place that makes rocket engines, and there's just so much. Start with a rocket engine itself - the combustion gasses are like 3300 C (6000 F) with more than 400,000 lb of thrust. But there's a lot associated. We dealt with lots of liquid oxygen and liquid hydrogen. We have a giant braze oven that we can put a whole rocket nozzle into. It's quite an arsenal.

If there's one thing I've learned from horror movies it's that unless you have some weird satanic ritual, nothing can stop the bad guy.

But also, I'm a janitor at McDonald's; I could probably slow them down with soapy water or even just leaving the floor oily. I doubt they wear non-slip shoes. Pull some Scooby Doo shit, slick up the floor, Jason comes after me and slides into the freezer, which I then lock.

Stage engineer: Fly system.

I work at a bowling alley with a bar, so there’s quite a few ways.

• Hit them with a bowling ball.
• Beat them with a bumper stick.
• Make a Molotov cocktail.
• Use the knives in the kitchen to stab them.

Doldrums

I'm unemployed rn so uh, some dab wax?

The contents of the fridge

The autopsy saw. It's a gleaming monstrosity of stainless steel designed to part human flesh like Moses parted the red sea. You can stack zombies as deep as you want, the saw won't even slow down. The only thing that will stop it is the length of the mechanical arm it hangs from, because it's unfortunately too heavy for most people to lift.

The elevators that always breakdown. They were doing a repair today and knocked out power to the whole building.

Probably busbar running at 6 to 10,000 amps. DC power.

I would print out the code and Rube Goldbergian series of database triggers that run some of our internal apps; to the untrained mind, it would probably have an effect similar to looking into Medusa's eyes.

I work with IT but in a meat processing plant, the giant saw that cuts pigs in half would certainly do it. Even though all of the slaughtering and butchering have been dismantled many years ago due to cutbacks, it would be a very good location for a horror movie or an augmented reality experience or something like that, it's almost like everyone just up and left.

The cardboard crusher probably, just have to tip them over the edge. Puts them nicely in 1.5x1.5x1m cubes

TPS report cover sheet.

Probably all the knives and the room full of people who spend 8 hours a day cutting things to bits with them. After a while, you get pretty good at finding where to cut through joints, so it doesn't take all that long.

Suffering through eight straight hours of „business alignment workshops“.

I'm an auto mechanic, honestly like 80% of the things I touch every day could kill most things if applied properly.

Thinking about reach and convenience from my toolbox, I'm thinking the 5' steel prybar (effectively a 10 lb baseball bat with a sharp tip) or the cv axle I took out earlier. Honorable mention to one of a variety of possible chemical attacks or just straight up dropping a car on it.

Graphic Designer so maybe if it was a lawnmower man situation

Client feedback.

Most of my tools could - just a matter of how many swings it would take. Running them over with my work truck would probably be the quickest and chainsaw the messiest.

Really big laser - meant for cutting through thick steel, could probably slice most monsters Bond-villain style.