this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2026
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Independent Minnesota US Senate candidate Marisa Simonetti, 32, has been sentenced to three months in the Hennepin County workhouse after throwing a live tarantula onto the staircase leading to her tenant's living space in Edina. She was convicted of gross misdemeanour harassment and misdemeanour domestic assault and will serve her 90-day sentence on school and work release. The court also ordered her to serve two years of probation and submit a written apology to the victim.

Simonetti's sentence comes as she campaigns for a seat in the US Senate, hoping to replace Tina Smith in the November 2026 Minnesota election. Her candidacy has drawn further attention after a video she posted of herself confronting a Girl Scout and the child's mother over selling cookies without a permit went viral, putting her own conduct under public scrutiny.

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[–] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 12 points 6 days ago

That poor spider.

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

video she posted of herself confronting a Girl Scout and the child’s mother

She thought that was a winning interaction to post of herself?

[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 115 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 44 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (6 children)

I know they're not fucking toys. They're lovely animals too.

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[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 85 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I wonder why she's running as an independent. Couldn't be more qualified to be a Republican.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 65 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Although she initially launched her political career as a Republican and lost two Hennepin County Board races in 2024, the local 3rd Congressional District GOP committee withdrew its endorsement following her 2024 arrest, stating she 'does not reflect our values'.

The GOP kicked her out for bad behavior. She's too much for the addicts and pedophile warmongers.

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[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 72 points 1 week ago

The bodycam footage of the incident is wild. She’s a complete and total piece of shit.

[–] baeb66@lemmy.today 57 points 1 week ago (2 children)

There's a whole video of this floating around on the internet. I usually don't go in for videos that look like the old Cops show, but that one is worth a watch.

The woman she was harassing was renting out the basement of the house through Airbnb because she was fleeing domestic violence.

Simonetti didn't even own the property. She was illegally subletting the basement. The cops showed up and Simonetti was so crazy that the cops weren't having it.

[–] LostListener@piefed.social 31 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I’ve seen this too, these people are terrifying. Here’s the link to the full body cam. Get ready for a whole helping of crazy eyes

https://youtu.be/gRyjqsHNQOU

[–] punkibas@lemmy.zip 3 points 6 days ago

Holy fuck! You guys were not lying, what a wild ride!

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[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 17 points 1 week ago

a karen in its feral state.

[–] bcgm3@lemmy.world 43 points 1 week ago (3 children)

She was convicted of gross misdemeanour harassment and misdemeanour domestic assault

I guess tarantulas aren't cute enough to warrant an animal cruelty charge :(

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[–] pomegranatefern@sh.itjust.works 40 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Here is another article on this that I found a little bit clearer in terms of what happened. So basically her tenant asked her to fulfill a basic responsibility that landlords are supposed to handle and she had an absolute fucking meltdown? Honestly the tarantula is the tamest part of it. I hope the tarantula is okay and also that the tenant is okay, not because the tarantula was a real danger but because of every other fucking thing this woman did. Good lord.

[–] sunbytes@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

From what i saw of her cop-slop episode it wasn't even her property. She was illegally subletting it.

Both by the terms of her rental contract and that short term lets were illegal in the city.

[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Unfortunately I doubt it is. Tarantulas are surprisingly fragile; a throw like that would most likely kill one :(

[–] pipes@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is so much worse than "neighbor".

Also, how fun:

Simonetti "intercepted" groceries ordered by the individual and refused to return them until officers told her to do so

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[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

also blared loud Christian music

Simonetti, a local real estate businesswoman who runs a house-buying firm

Jfc this article just gets worse and worse

AI slop thumbnail though

[–] Wbear@lemmy.zip 2 points 6 days ago

Is that why they're not in real girl scout uniforms? And those boxes make no sense. Oy.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Tarantulas aren't cheap pets. That's definitely sending a message.

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 45 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They're also incredibly delicate animals :(

[–] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago (6 children)

For the curious, falling more than a few inches is often fatal due to a burst abdomen.

[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 week ago

Oh no, poor thing

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[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

the Hennepin County workhouse

the what now?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

some places never really had that veneer that slavery ended.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Hate to break it to you but slavery did not end in the United States, it outlaws it's use except in the case of lawful detention. Ie. The state and the feds can own people but you nor I cannot.

Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

Section 2

Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Look up the word veneer maybe

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

Well it wouldn't have the veneer of something that never happened.

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[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

For a politician it's probably the first contact with real work.

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[–] spaghettiwestern@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Showed the headline to a friend and asked him what he thought she did for a living.

'Realtor' was his first guess.

[–] AgentSeven@lemmy.zip 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

She's even worse than that, she's a professional parasite. She runs a "home buying firm," which means she routinely fucks people out of an average of $50,000 per transaction. To accomplish this, she uses media (TV, billboards, print, social) to convince homeowners of a lie (they will make the same if not more money using homebuyer services than using the conventional real estate process) by telling them a truth (the transaction will be fast and they will have money in their hands in just a few days).

It's an amazing feat of leveraging human desire to absolutely fuck the dogshit out of them: they willingly believe the lie because they want the money in their hands quickly and in so doing, they get fucked out of five figures.

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[–] zakobjoa@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wow, attacking girl scouts AND THEN POSTING THE VIDEO YOURSELF. Completely lost the plot.

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[–] ikidd@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

She's perfect for US Senate except for being about 50 years too young.

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Really not fair to the tarantula, who asked for none of this.

Tarantula are wildly intelligent. Like, smart dog intelligent.

[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is a 100% lie and literally anyone here with a single minute to spare could fact check and learn they aren't very intelligent at all. Nowhere remotely close to a dog or cat, and aren't even known to be the smartest types of spiders. It's kind of sad that 28 people straight just blindly up voted this comment without a single one of them knowing it wasn't true and didn't bother to check.

They're super cool, but they're still dumb.

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[–] FrChazzz@lemmus.org 13 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I love tarantulas. My first-ever job was at a pet store and I used to let a large rose-hair chill with me at the register, crawling on my shoulder or head or whatever. Watching people coming in to buy dog food and shakily throwing their money in my direction was a bonus.

For this reason I still get uneasy feelings whenever I watch Home Alone and Kevin grabs the tarantula. There's a scene after it's on Joe Pesci where you can tell it got injured during the shoot because it's limping.

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[–] TootTootComingThru@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Tarantula are wildly intelligent. Like, smart dog intelligent.

Yeah I'm gonna go ahead and call bullshit on that bullshit. There is zero chance of that being true.

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[–] some_designer_dude@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Like, “sit”, “stay”, and “fetch me a cigarette”?! I want video of this

[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 1 week ago

They aren't. They're pretty dumb. Way dumber than a dog or cat. Learning you aren't a threat to them is about as advanced as a tarantula can get. They aren't even the smartest spiders.

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[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

And she’s a 32 year old landlord too.

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[–] darthelmet@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

You know, I think headlines like these might be getting to the point where they don't even qualify as onion-like. The Onion headlines are at least clever jokes that make sense when you think about them. This is more like someone playing "yes and" with a bunch of crazy people.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

Wait...does the Girl Scout organization not secure legal clearance at all for its scouts to sell? Or is she just a complete moron?

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