I will also do this, just PM me!
this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2026
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I have a structured settletrump but I NEED CASH NOOWWW!!!!! Call a FUCK-KING MORON 877-MAGA-NOW!!!!!
That's a 25% profit! Better than the stock market!
You could invest the extra dough in Trump crypto!
You must not have that $100,000 yearly early access to truth social posts.
MAGA voters want a bigger payoff than that, and besides they're broke. Hey guys, give me just $499 today and you can have my DonaldBucks as soon as they arrive!
Did you mean $4.99? No way most of them have $499 available after refueling their emotional support vehicles in this economy.
I've trained my two year old daughter to refer to cyber trucks as "the ugly car". Gives me a chuckle every time.
Appa! Those peoples are driving ugly car!
I'll do better. Give me $100 now and I'll give you $50,000 when the trump checks come in.
But wouldn't you rather have $4,000 than 100?
Normally I'd do it for $1000, but for the next two days I'll do it for half that, only $500!
technically this is just a super clean explanation of how debt purchasing works, an estimation of odds of an outcome happening by two parties.
What a deal, there’s literally no downside!
But MAGA won't pass the marshmallow test.
What's the marshmallow test?
It's not exactly like above but children are given a marshmallow and told if they wait a certain amount of time and not eat it, they will get another marshmallow and they can eat both. They can decide to eat the marshmallow right away and not get a second one. As well.
It's a test that has a very high rate of predicting how well a person does in the future, education, life, income, happiness. Indicating people who wait for a second marshmallow do better in life.
It got famous, and when the study was done properly with actual controls and accounting for income, home life and parental trust decades later the previous results are moot. Results are entirely manipulated by how trustworthy the test giver is. So it's meaningless now in the use I had for it, but the first study's meaning has lingered.
This is a great example of that test being about trusting authority
Thank you for the financial advice Mr. Cat, very cool !
Cats always give such good financial advice!
I forgot but didn't a handful of people get filthy rich by buying out people's war bonds post WWI?
I'm sure they did. A bunch of people certainly got rich buying up tarif responsibilities before they got refunded
I'd do it for $3995
I'd do it for 1k.
When he made the announcement he said that the only condition is that you spend it in America. I kind of imagined a card that could only be used at American grocery and big box stores.
It’s a $5000 store credit to a Trump branded merch shop probably
And the cheapest item they sell is a MAGA hat, for $5020.
It's gotta be $5,047 at least
a gift card that only works on the trump store and it's fully tax payer funded.
They'd probably fall for it.