As a bi girl idm!
this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2026
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As a bi dude, I'm still down.
Hey as long as we’ve got experts here, could a purely non binary person be considered gay or heterosexual in any configuration or are they always bisexual? Even if only as a limitation of the language?
To elaborate on that I am nonbinary and bisexual myself and without missing a beat it’s like every non-binary person I meet is also bisexual. And that’s all good and all feels very natural, and nobody should feel pressured to be anything else
But like, if I was trying to not be bisexual, what would that look that? Would I just start listing specific preferences and the orientation just wouldn’t have a particular name?
I have no idea if it is proper, but I've always just used queer.
Doesn’t need to be proper! I use queer as well, it’s widely used in my in-person community. I tend to avoid using “queer” online sometimes just because it seems like it can still be a heavy word in other places, but it also seems like I’m seeing it used more often anyway
I've seen several attempts at giving it a name over the years but none caught on. Especially since many nonbinary folk who aren't bi tend to lean toward one gender presentation over the other and will just use the orientation labels associated with that
Maybe gay if you're only into enbies?
I’ve considered that, and I agree in theory, but is that something that occurs on the level of sexual attraction?
In practice I feel like it’s a romantic quality, i.e. “since we are both non-binary, I feel we understand each other and I feel especially safe with you, and in fact this type of relationship is the only one I would want”,
I suppose in this manner you could easily be a gay demisexual enbie, but I wonder of the larger cohort of people who experience a more immediate sexual attraction
Again, not that it’s important to have this all ironed out neatly. I just feel like it hasn’t been ironed out neatly, you know?
In practice I feel like it’s a romantic quality, i.e. “since we are both non-binary, I feel we understand each other and I feel especially safe with you, and in fact this type of relationship is the only one I would want”,
That does sound a lot like demisexual to me.
If you call yourself homosexual I worry that some people might misinterpret it and try and figure out a binary gender for you, which is unhelpful.
You could just say you're attracted to other enbies if someone asks? One word labels aren't always the most important thing.
That sounds closer to a non orientation based preference. Similar to people I know who only or preferentially date other trans people despite also being attracted to cis people aligned with their orientation. For many of them it's about not being comfortable displaying the level of vulnerability inherent to romance to someone who can't fully understand that aspect of them or who has that specific privilege over them.
The way I'd personally frame it is probably saying that you're enby4enby, just taking from the T4T terminology
Hey thank you so much for responding! I really like this concept in the language of non-orientation based preferences colliding with traditional descriptions.
This is my first time ever seeing E4E considered, and you’re kind of blowing my mind! I think it works really well
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How about you stop force-labelling people and just love what you love and let others love without judgment?
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As a bald guy, I'm still like, "damn, good for you, bro."
I thought the 6 inch beard would give it away, but okay...
Or the broad shoulders and 6'5" height
Listen it I see a 6'5" girl with long beautiful hair and broad shoulders I'm going for it
And a bushy, greying beard?
Eh, fuck it. How you doin'?
It's commendable when men who have long hair actually practice proper hair care. Long hair on a man is often seen as a sign of neglect (growing it out because they can't be bothered to cut it), but it takes way more effort to maintain long hair than short hair. So nothing but respect when they manage to sell the look.
I once told a man his long hair was really pretty. Thought about it later that dudes probably don't like being called pretty. Ugh.
I love when people call my long hair pretty. Bonus points of you follow it up by complimenting my beard
Honestly... we're not hugely used to compliments on average so I'm sure he appreciated it and maybe even still remembers and recounts it to this day!
I try to keep my longer hair pretty but the curse of many a man's hairline is slowly visiting upon mine crown. T_T
An ex called me beautiful and it was obviously very memorable as evidenced by my still remembering it. Another said I have amazing, seductive-lady-in-a-makeup-commercial eyelashes (but mostly only on one eye). That one was less moving, but still funny/nice-ish/I didn't totally hate it. I just mean you might be surprised. Most guys won't be picky about compliments. We're like parched flowers.
Guys don't get compliments. Id almost bet my pretty hair that your interaction with him is something he still thinks about sometimes.
I love it when people say my hair is pretty, makes my whole day better! Recently, it happened twice in the same week and I'm still riding those feels!
"Oh darn, someone has something nice but I can't use them for it"
Sometimes it's good to be happy for other people without getting something tangible out of it.
This one time my friend and I were walking together. We were both dudes with long hair at the time. A truck full of bros wolf whistled at us. We turned around. The bros saw our beards, freaked out, then called us the f-slur and peeled out.
i've met some lesbians and they love my long hair
borat voice yÉass.
Guys with long hair are hot #you_can’t_change_my_mind
💯
I'm a trans woman who can't grow hair on her head..... I'd pass if not for my short hair.
I had a bit of the opposite experience once, when she realized I was a guy with long hair.
Long hair is so cool :3
Hard disagree. Men can have long beautiful hair and I appreciate them too.
Bro, just admit that you're bi. It'll feel a lot better once you do.
I am but the lesbians still aren't into me :(
Obviously you just need to grow long hair
I've had long hair for thirty years now.
Oh, now that is a doozy then
No, you can call me Suzy
What I have done since I was about 16 years old is grow my hair as long as I can stand it, and then donate it. I've done this multiple times. Im now in my late 40's and my hair is to the middle of my back again.
Something I have noticed with this latest long hair journey: nobody touches my hair. Before, I would get random women touching my hair without asking. Just suddenly someone is in my hair. But that doesn't happen anymore thankfully.
Same but as the guy with the long hair
never had this problem, although I do have way too many conversations about conditioning routines now.
I'm a man with not-so-beautiful long hair. But maybe some people like it and fell for this kind of thing? I'll never know...
That dude had nice gams.
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