this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2026
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Greentext

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[–] schnokobaer@feddit.org 81 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

hire carpenter

they don't want to fix my carpets

???????

[–] caurvo@aussie.zone 18 points 3 weeks ago

My carpents, please they need fixing.

And if you have time the plumbs under the sink are leaking.

[–] Bombastic@sopuli.xyz 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

hire carpenter

they can't catch a carp to save their lives

????

[–] rapchee@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

no they make the carp enter YOU

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 53 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Reminds me of this guy from Nazareth. Laziest carpenter evah, prolly broke more tables than he built. Finally he got nailed and thats why I received a new bicycle about 1986 years later.

[–] abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't know how many tables he broke, but he sure broke some hearts. Love hurts, love scars, love wounds and marks any heart not tough or strong enough to take a lot of pain

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

"Fuck this corporate bullshit" -Matthew 21:12-13

Not a 100% sure on the quote, been 40 years since Sunday school.

[–] Nollij@sopuli.xyz 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

For those too lazy to look it up:

12 Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’” (NIV)

Jesus: "Fuck this corporate bullshit!"

Disciple: "What on Earth is a corporation?"

Jesus: "Oh, you'll find out eventually. AND HOW THEY SUCK!"

[–] Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 3 weeks ago

Reminds me of the bible quote where Nathanael said "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" and Jesus said "Yo, he's speaking the truth".

Nathanael said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Philip said to him, “Come and see.”

Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no deceit!”

[–] finalarbiter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 52 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Crazy how many folks out here with the name Smith have never even smacked a bit of metal with a hammer either.

[–] lauha@lemmy.world 28 points 3 weeks ago

And most of them aren't even dwarves. What a bunch of fakers.

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 6 points 3 weeks ago

I was wondering the other day if this is ever gonna change. Like Michael Schuhmacher Was a world famoud racing car driver. So is his son. Maybe his son will be a formula one driver as well. But their family is still named after some cobbler. Will there ever be a Thomas Racer or Paul Racist or something? How long do you have to go with a new profession before your name becomes ridiculous?

[–] ServantOfRa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 42 points 3 weeks ago

Singer is a SEWING MACHINE?

[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

She actually had a twitch channel back in 2023 centered around woodworking small office supplies (like pencil holders & the like), but all 103 episodes are lost media following a Mandela-effected reset.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I have no idea if you're joking or serious. I'm hoping the latter, aside from the "lost media" part.

(I have no idea who this person is, but I'm always happy about interesting maker videos.)

[–] Famko@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago

Nominative determinists are in shambles :(

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 14 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Good forbid a girl have hobbies

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 weeks ago

Wood forbid

[–] MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Good forbid

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 3 weeks ago

Osama wasn't carrying any bins

[–] BoneheadBruin@pawb.social 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

》"Will Smith"

》Won't

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Doesn't she sell farts in a jar?

[–] TheGoldenGod@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I had a random guy on AOL pay me to do this when I was a teenager. He paid extra for my used underwear. I wish I was kidding about this…

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

What did you do with the money

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I bought some other dude's used underwear. You gotta pay it forward

[–] MrKoyun@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Passing the money around... I'm assuming everyone here would agree that hoarding wealth isn't good, no?

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

If we all bought each other's underwear, we could solve world hunger in a week.

[–] WagnasT@piefed.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

I think Christina Perri sings about a Jar of Farts. Song is pretty dope tbh.

[–] StillAlive@piefed.world 7 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I always get an uncanny valley feeling from her photos. 🤷‍♂️

[–] wyldrstallyns@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 weeks ago

Is that what you call it? Your uncanny valley?

[–] Lileath@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Could be because she is a creep?

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Lileath@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

She asked a 16 year old boy if he was horny at her concert. Mind you, she ist 27 years old

[–] onnekas@sopuli.xyz 2 points 3 weeks ago

He most probably was horny. It's still creepy to ask though.

[–] SlothMama@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

Makes sense, Sabrina SINGER is a carpenter

[–] reader@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

No, that's Karen Carpenter

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 weeks ago

Another green salad, another iced tea
There's a tunic in the closet waiting just for me

John Fetterman, however, does keep the entire state of Pennsylvania in chains.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 4 points 3 weeks ago

Hardly know er!

[–] wuffah@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

Judging by that dress, she’s a carpenter because she an excellent wood worker.

[–] sen@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 weeks ago

Fuck I thought she was an ant

[–] TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Well, she works with my wood ifyaknowwhati'msayn'

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 3 weeks ago

Username checks out

[–] Nangijala@feddit.dk 3 points 3 weeks ago

Curry Barker neither barks nor is yellow. >:(

[–] nullspace@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

carpenter ants

more like demolition ants