squawk
this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2026
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Seagurl
Oh fuck yeah, it's my tern now, bitches.
I truly do not understand why people hate seagulls so much. 
I live in a seaside tourist town and have had to fight them for food in my hands. Those cheeky fuckers will swoop you like raptors.
Even cuter now
Seagulls play by rules that are broadly well understood, and clear.
Now... geese ....those motherfuckers have no honor.
Who ~~watches~~ harrasses the ~~watchmen~~ idiot tourists?
Seagulls do the job that would be essentially socially awkward for humans to do... we owe them a debt.
One reason is because they poke your knee.
Stop it now!
159 million views! Wow...
They used to be a real big thing, in the before times
I don't hate them, but fear and respect them.
Because like pigeons they're flying rats
What's wrong with rats? They are just trying to get by.
Even cuter, rats are adorable and so are pigeons
I like pigeons and seagulls. and rats are cute.
I have apparently dated ... at least 3 seagulls.
yeah but have you tried seaotters?
This is like 75% of my first dates these days. TIL I date seagulls.
I grew up on the beach and hated them as a kid, and this also explains why I hate so many of my first dates too.
Have you tried asking humans out on a date? Might have better luck. At the very least, human beaks are softer than seagull beaks.
I assume they are humans until they start squawking and demanding truffle fries. I fucking hate truffle fries.
Im a seagull
Well apparently that makes you my type.
Uh... hey chickie chickie, catch any good updrafts lately?
(... bird pickup line...???)
Lol. I dont need pick up lines. Just hand me a couple fries and I'll be smitten
... right.
I forgot who i was sqwuaking to, rofl.
Wait I think I have another stupid joke:
I sent you beak pic, pls respond
Oh my, thats such a nice, big beak 😳
Why thank you!
Though uh, I'm a firm believer in the idea that what really matters is the, vector of the pecker, if you catch my meaning.
Be happy to lend a useful beak toward picking your nits, anytime, chickie chickie!
Ok, attempt 2:
sees you scavenging
Well my my, you really are all that, and a bag of chips!
Bag of chips, you say?
I mean, I'd say 'don't tempt me with a good time', but... you, me, chips, already here.
That sounds exactly like my girl
Good gull.
Bloody beach pigeons...
Tfw you date a professional streamer, former professional TF2 and overwatch player.
Sorry, can't really relate but it sounds like a great time hahaha.
The guy goes by the name a_seagull
Edit added a photo
LOL that helps. Thanks for replying! :D
Beach rats.
Parking lot scavengers where I'm from
"No mom, my girlfriend is real. She only went to get some pizza from the tourists at the beach."
Whew. Hate the beach personally. Almost thought I was a seagull, but not quite!
I seagull, shakin dat ass
You deserve so many more uptoots for that