this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] BeUnique@lemmy.zip 118 points 5 days ago (8 children)

I knew a guy like this. He said he didn't like sunflower seeds for the same reason he didn't like shrimp. "Too crunchy". Apparently he was eating the shell and all of both of these things...

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 34 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

I had that experience with lychees. Nobody told me you weren't supposed to eat the crunchy center!

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

I had the opposite experience eating pomegranate the first time. So fucking delicious, but the pips were an unsettling crunch/texture that I couldn't get over. However, it's too much work to remove the pulp from the pips, so no fresh pomegranate for me. :(

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 7 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Its not bad once you realize the structure of the pomegranate. It also helps if you leave it in the refrigerator.

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[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

The way I eat pomegranate is like popcorn meets sunflower seeds.

Take a few of the pearls, pop them in my mouth, break the water balloon with gentle chewing that doesn't break the seed, suck out the juice, spit the seed. Sometimes I’ll fidget and peel the pulp off with my teeth, is not much, but it’s a nice mindless activity to occupy my brain

Pom is a flavored water fruit rather than a chew and swallow fruit. You don’t miss much leaving the pulp behind (and I'm not talking about the white rind) because theres not much of it to begin with. Its ideal for brainless time like watching movies. The prep is pretty easy, too, since the pearls tend to fall off pretty easily into a bowl, perfect for mindless snacking.

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[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 19 points 5 days ago (3 children)
[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You take of the skin? Such a waste.. that's where all the electrolytes are.

It's what plants crave.

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[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip 11 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Okay but a properly fried shrimp is peak with the shell on. Good snappy crunch to it, they help hold the flavor in, wonderful. And for tails I usually don't even care how they're cooked I just go ahead and eat the tails shell in saves a lot of hassle and they're pretty good

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 7 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Also a good source of [compound that lubricates your joints].

[–] Zarobi@aussie.zone 8 points 5 days ago

Mmmm bone lube

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[–] Pandasdontfly@anarchist.nexus 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

For most of my life I willingly ate them shell and all

[–] BeUnique@lemmy.zip 6 points 4 days ago

At least you didn't know that wasn't the social norm. Eating sunflower seeds whole is like swallowing splinters and causes constipation. As for shrimp, it's just an unpleasant chew as far as I'm concerned.

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[–] RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 44 points 5 days ago (10 children)

Yeah this is silly and cringe but eating frozen fruits while they're still frozen is amazing.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (2 children)

They are better while they are still frozen. Love me a bowl of frozen mixed berries, even worth the seeds that stick in the teeth.

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[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 32 points 5 days ago (4 children)

My father likes to tell this tale of when he made fried spaghetti because he was a poor student and his buddy liked it so much that he asked how to make them. My father replied "Like normal spaghetti. But you fry them in a pan."

That's what he did. Instead of cooking he fried the dry spaghetti in a pan.

[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (2 children)

My dad tried frying frozen peas once. Turned the kitchen into Viet goddamn Nam. I still have flashbacks.

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[–] diaphragmwp@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 5 days ago

Italians also do it. Although they put tomatoes in and smash them first.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Going in another direction, but ramen is great if you fry it after boiling it. Just drain the water (save it if it's a broth type as you can add the noodles back after frying), then drop them in a pan with heated oil, fry them for a few minutes, just to the point where the noodles on the bottom start to burn a bit (don't stir them before this but do stir after to interrupt the burning) and your ramen will have a satisfying crunch.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Wait, so these are noodles fried, boiled, and then fried again?

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[–] Zacryon@feddit.org 16 points 4 days ago

Well at least anon was nutritionmaxxing, because frozen fruits and vegetables have higher content in nutrients than those stored at room temperature. Not cooking them also keeps a lot of the good stuff intact. But please go ahead and cook and eat vegetables and fruit regardless of temperature. Because it's more important to have plenty of them regularly in your diet and the nutrition differences barely matter.

Furthermore, although somewhat funny post, there are way too many people who don't know how to cook even basic stuff. This is bad. For them, their health, finances, and independence, and a shame on a societal level.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 46 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I won't dog on them since the context implies this is ESL, but seeing "etc." punctuated as though it's an acronym is unholy.

[–] TwilightKiddy@programming.dev 19 points 5 days ago

Why did you have to point it out? I didn't even notice until you did!

[–] grue@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago (3 children)

If their first language is a Romance language it still isn't an excuse, because "etc" comes from the Latin.

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[–] M137@lemmy.today 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This is something an alien would do. It would perfectly fit as a scene in the Resident Alien series. And now I'm kinda disappointed it wasn't.

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[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 31 points 5 days ago (3 children)

tbf, ignorance is something you giggle at once, before getting over it and educating them. Hopefully OP and their friend got over it and managed some actual change

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

Yes, but also... bruh...

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[–] craftrabbit@lemmy.zip 24 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Belongs in the category of things you know once somebody told you. I think we all have little things that nobody has ever taught us and everyone else knows.

[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 4 points 4 days ago

There are always cooking directions on the bags.

[–] clifmo@programming.dev 4 points 3 days ago

A lot of frozen vegetables are raw and require cooking to ensure safety

[–] Zephyr@sh.itjust.works 16 points 5 days ago

Legitimately I've snacked on frozen veggies in the hot summer. Anyways, just get all your macros and take in fewer calories than you burn and you'll lose weight.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

We live in a hot climate and all my kids loved to eat frozen corn, frozen. I could never cook it because if I bought a bag they would raid it.

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[–] Glowstick@lemmy.world 17 points 5 days ago (4 children)

I love frozen fruit and veg! If you've never tried it then don't knock it

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[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 15 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Totally gay, because office bro was totally hoping to get some booty.

But damn if I can't believe this is true. I've met people that are that unaware of that kind of thing. Shit, I once had to teach a 76 year old man how to operate a can opener because up until then, his wife had done all kitchen stuff.

I started the case maybe two weeks before and had been doing the meal prep because home health. One morning, I show up and my man is stabbing at the top of a can with an old butcher knife. I freak out a little because, damn, dude needs a nurse's assistant, so an already less than ideal tool was crazy dangerous. Also, dude had decided to ignore the nicely arranged food I had cooked the day before, which is story in itself.

So I dig through the drawers and find a shitty old can opener. Show him how to use it, and Bob's your uncle. Mostly.

Dude wasn't senile, believe it or not. Just not the brightest crayon in the box and woefully a product of his generation. Nice guy though! Not always the case on a case.

[–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I swear some people act so fucking alien about life, like they had not learned some of the most basic things, or lack what you would consider to be the most obvious social skills.

I think some families just royally fucked up their kids heads growing up.

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[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago

Very in character for anon.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

The bag (usually) has cooking instructions written on the it...

Ignorance I can forgive, but lack of curiosity is inexcusable.

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