Cocaine.
He's like if the "van down by the river" character was in charge of microsoft
this post was submitted on 31 May 2026
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Still better than Nadella.
That is the most on cocaine I’ve seen anyone be
I think he checked out and let the cocaine do the talking / moving.
This is the most cocaine I've ever seen anyone be
I'll never not be surprised at how he wasn't having a heart attack on stage.
When I was a MS employee for a couple years I saw Ballmer in person at a quarterly division meeting, and I have to admit his enthusiasm was very contagious. He was like a kid at a Pokemon convention. Never saw him sweat like this tho.
Same. I met him, shook his hand, and he was fine
Damn Chris Farley would have done an ✨ideal✨ impersonation of this guy
Hey Dad, I cant see too good. Is that Steve Jobs over here?
Cocaine was a little stronger than you anticipated?
Cocaine!!
Made me think of this banger
How have I never seen this before? This is awesome!
Glad to have introduced you
I thought Ballmer's peak was just a funny graph. I understand it a lot better now.
lol.NET
This is the industry now but instead of developers it's AI
If I were some powerful corporate exec, I'd be paying someone whose job it was to make sure something like this never happened, or if it happened it was at least never recorded.
I mean, even before the viral "Developers developers developers developers" chant he was a nasty, sweaty mess.
I dunno I kinda miss this version of Microsoft. They were still shitty and evil, but at least they were trying to be memorable and they were genuinely trying to sell you a computer to do whatever you wanted to do with it.
In the years that followed we started getting buggier, slower software, DRM, forced cloud migration, and AI scanning of everything on our machines and in our messages.
Fuck you they were. They wanted to sell you a computer so that you'd install Office. They never wanted you to do whatever you wanted with it. They intentionally changed internal APIs to break third party software that they didn't want people using. This is also the era where they were constantly spreading FUD about Linux, convincing people that merely using Linux meant you were legally liable for patent infringement, etc.
Truth. I had a friend who worked at MS (not in Redmond) back in the early 90s post-IPO when Ballmer was CEO, and when most of the people working there were temps so MS could avoid the legal repercussions of the toxic workplace culture they'd built (harassment lawsuits) and get around paying benefits or overtime, and even then Ballmer was the most personally repugnant trailer trash CEO imaginable. People put up with it because it was Microsoft and endless fountains of cash, but he was an even worse CEO than he was a human being, and that's quite a low bar to limbo under but he managed.
This dude specifically had a hate boner for linux because they got absolutely shredded in the server space and the only reason MSFT survived in the end user product line was because they were already an established monopoly capable of forcing and coercing OEMs to never to offer an alternative OS from the factory lol.
But yes, at least they had some actual marketing ideas and design talent and not an infinite stream of slop.
Although even Ballmer gifted us the crapshow that was windows 8 before he conveniently dipped.
Thus was happening at the same time they were being sued for (among other things) Embrace Extend Extinguish.
dance, monkey boy
isn't this the one he snapped(broke) his ankle when he ran out on stage and was screaming from the pain?
I think so, man was in shock and was sweating like a pig at the butchery.
Dude have the energy of a sun, and no exec can match his energy since then.
Developers!
Should have worn a black shirt
Or a wet black one, even
Back when Microsoft was evil, but still tried to make a decent product. Now they are just evil and slop. So much slop.
Did not know this existed.
The guy is less concerning than the crowd being into it. He's obviously on drugs, sure, whatever. The crowd (probably) isn't, yet they're celebrating it. I couldn't believe it. I only felt concern and cringe while watching.
No wonder we're fucked as a species.
Coke is a hell of a drug
Things that are okay if you're white and rich but not if you're anything else. Also, cocaine is fun.
Living in a van down by the river.
Give the man an aspirin.