Not a Trot but i was an anarcho-communist for about a week in high school, when a socdem friend of mine got into an argument with a communist friend, and i took the "middle ground"/"enlightened centrist" option of "let's stop arguing about what kind of state and just not have a state at all". I quickly realized that was stupid and started a years-long transition from something like a "euro-socialist" to Marxism-Leninism, by slowly learning history and bit by bit unlearning the propaganda i'd been fed all my life about communism. It's a gradual process without any big "awakening" moment.
Though i guess if there was a "red thread" that guided me throughout the whole process it would be a commitment to anti-fascism. If you are actually seriously anti-fascist and serious about investigating and understanding history, i think you cannot help but arrive sooner or later at the conclusion that Marxism-Leninism is by far the most successful weapon against fascism.
But i understand where the impulse to go Trotskyist comes from. You see that communism is the right way to go but you've been told too often that Stalin was evil and that the "Stalinist" socialist system of the eastern bloc was evil, and it's too difficult to question that consensus and expose yourself to accusations of supporting "authoritarian dictatorships" so you fall back on the old "if only the good communist had taken power instead of the bad one, everything would have been perfect".
It's a mix of purity fetishism, being attracted to the failed communists because they never held power so never had to make compromises, and being psychologically unable to let go of and deconstruct anti-communist propaganda because the peer pressure is too great so you find a way to "side-step" it instead, a way to square the circle: "yes those communists were bad, but not us".