I don't understand women who fake it. They're just reinforcing bad sexual performance in their partners. It's shooting yourself in the foot.
this post was submitted on 13 May 2026
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me_irl
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I had a fiance who I found out had been faking orgasms for over a year or two. Never communicated that she wasn't enjoying it or how I could improve, even if I asked. Then she cheated on me, but continued the relationship because I was paying all of her bills while she was unemployed. Glad I found out before tying the knot from her best friend.
Now I'm married to a different person. We communicate our likes and dislikes during and before sex after trying things. After 14 years, I can't imagine better sex with anyone else. Just getting better with time like a fine wine.
Did I date your ex? That's exactly the story she told me as to why she cheated on her ex, "because he wasn't making her happy". Then on a separate occasion she told me she had never done anything wrong in her life, soon after we broke up, because apparently I was too judgemental.
My ex didn't say I was judgemental. She said I "wasn't there for her". Still no idea what the fuck that meant, because I drove 11 hours twice a month to go and see her, paid her bills, video called her every day, and thought I did a pretty good job of showing her love.
She also cheated on me the week before my 21st birthday party and then invited the guy she cheated on me with to my party. I even knew the guy and was semi-friends with them.
In retrospect, I'm glad she showed her hand before marriage, because then I'd have been extra fucked. Dodged a building-sized bullet and am much happier now.
it means you were not what she wanted, but you were what she could get at the time.
she wanted the other guy.
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your sex is a shitty person who hated you but was happy to use you for what you gave her.
This is the way.
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Too many people overlook the value of "communication skills" in a relationship
Exactly.
I don't understand how someone couldn't tell that their partner is faking it. Like you can literally see/feel when your partner is having an orgasm. Not to mention you should have already talked with your partner about what they like and what gets them off.
I think that's a skill issue. If you've never experienced a partner having a real orgasm, you'll believe in fake ones.
every orgasms differently dude.
same way they all have different voices.
Yes. In my previous comment, "a partner" means "a specific partner".
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because they aren't honest people and they avoid conflict.
and they are getting other things they want more. and they will stick around until someone else comes along and offers them a better deal, that's when they cheat.
Is OP actually faking it though, like i dont instantly become soft when i slip out, im still very turned on for the few seconds im still out. I guess i think OP is talking about a huge overreaction.
Some men react badly to not being told they're the best.
True, some do. Some don't. Generalizations and such
WOW, can you imagine there being people with different tastes and personalities?
Don't tell me... Are all women also different??!
no. everyone knows all men and all women are the same as the last person you dated.
try telling a woman she's bad in bed...
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Not every woman gets pleasure or can even climax from vaginal intercourse
Which is OK. But communicate that with your partner.
not every partner wants to communicate.
sometimes communication with your partner... results in violence from your partner.
people generally, don't like enjoy being the victims of violence.
If you have to choose between bad sex and violence, you're getting raped.
Ideally, yes. Real societal norms demand some specific behavior from women that make that difficult. I am not a native speaker so I am having trouble to find the right words. Maybe this is enough :)
I can understand societal norms in certain places silencing women from fully disclosing sexual preferences and limitations. But, in my opinion, if you care about a woman having or faking an orgasm, you should also care about making sure you are both comfortable expressing your preferences and limitations before fucking.
Fully agree.
But most of us can. More of us can than do.
That would be an interesting area for an empirical quantitative study.
I wouldn't know for I lack the parts.
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