Ask Lemmy

When they figure it out and become capable of reading and writing. Tablets, phones and computers are not locked down. Parental guidening and open communication means they know what it is, that there's good and there's bad content and people etc.

Working great.

/Swedish

Start educating them on what internet is and how it works early, before they even get to use it. Allow them to observe how you use it. Explain the good and the bad it can provide. I feel like a lot of how you should use the internet is just how you should generally live your life - stranger = danger, don't give your personal information to anyone at all (even if they claim to be me/my friend/police/whatever), understand how content engagement works and who benefits from it (ads and manipulation are everywhere, not just online), and so on. Ngl I'm kinda baffled how we navigated a much more dangerous real world "just fine" up until the internet has apparently become some unfathomable evil. By not allowing your kids to learn early, you are just gimping their future, they will have to go up against people who often literally don't know a life without the digital world. Not to mention - if you don't teach them the basics of understanding how to navigate the world and its dangers, they can get hurt whether the internet still even exists.

My one opinion that might be controversial is that I believe that by enforcing arbitrary blocklists (outside of just generally useful stuff like uBlock Origin) and restricting content without explaining and demonstrating anything you are simply conditioning your kids to be ok with surveillance and censorship.

A friend had an excellent (but evil) one.

His son had found some more... interesting areas of the internet (aka porn). He collected a selection of his browsing history and sat him down. They then went, video by video, having an open and honest discussion about it. Dad had FAR more tolerance for mortifying embarrassment than his son did. He learnt to clear the history at least.

The 2nd discussion, 6 months later, used the router logs instead.

I'm not sure I would use this particular method. However, it was apparently highly effective at making his kids think things through (for better or for worse!).

You sit at a desktop in the kitchen to use the computer. If you have shown yourself to be responsible you know your password.

The wifi shuts off at bedtime.

My 11-12-13 year old kids have Apple Watches for communication purposes but no smartphones. These are charged all together in a locked pantry at night.

Our policy was supervised / filtered only until early teens. Kids sites, educational stuff, games we purchased and approved of, etc. We were also late to give them phones, our son got his first because in his freshman year of high-school his band teacher set up a boiler-room to sell worlds finest chocolate and he was the only kid who didn't have a cell phone.

When we had "the talk" we discussed masturbation and porn, why porn is popular, and all the negatives that go with it without condemning it outright. We talked about online predators and not sharing things with people you didn't know, especially pics, addresses, etc.

My wife and I are firm believers that kids need space to discover who they are, so as they became teens, things went to semi-supervised. We paid attention to them more than their devices, but we had rules such as adding one of our emails as a recovery address to any socials they set up, so we could check up on them if we thought something bad was going down. Never had to use that, and I think just having it there made them think about what they did online.

Around sixteen/seventeen, no filter and no more backdoors into their accounts. Just a couple of long heart to hearts about how shitty things can be on the internet and how we're there to talk with no judgement if they need us.

🎵The internet is for porn🎶

And not at all for kids. No internet at all until like, 13. And then, with all the safety barriers possible. Before that age, maybe some online gaming (not roblox, just Minecraft) with friends.

Computers don't need the internet to be an enriching tool. Anyone remember reader rabbit? Encarta? The maze game? Time riders? Oregon trail? Age of empires? I learned so much using offline software.

Education education education.

Explain how the internet works. Explain companies. Explain evil intent and malicious behavior.

Imo, if you put your child under surveillance that's not the right way. If bad things happen despite good education, fine, introduce limits and guardrails.

Don't do things you wouldn't want for yourself. Be consistent.

Basically, do good parenting.

Our kid is three now, and the Finnish whatever children's organisation says that no screens at that age, except for stuff like video-calling family or so. Hence, no internet as well for him.

Fuck that, kids shouldn't be on the Internet unsupervised. No access when they're little and restricted access until they're an adult or close it it.

My daughter is 7 and no unsupervised internet, at most some YouTube videos. She gets tablet time but its just educational games and videos, mostly Khan Academy and PBS content.

Furthermore my wife is working with all the other moms to build a pact to keep our kids cellphone free as long as possible. Soon as one friend gets one they all want one.

You couldn't stop them if you tried, which instead will result on them using dodgy methods to access it, which puts them at even higher risk than if you gave them unrestricted access.

Teach them, teach them that the internet is both fucking terrifying and fucking terrific

Access to the Internet is not something that the parents are actually capable of restricting. As soon as one kid in the has a phone, their entire peer group is exposed.

The question isn't about restriction. It's about who will be teaching these kids about the Internet. The first kid learns from their parents; every other kid learns (mostly) from other kids.

If your kid is the last in their class to have a phone, everything they know about the Internet they will have learned from their peers. They sure as hell aren't going to tell you they already know about all the things you've been trying to hide from them.

No internet.

I'm normally very progressive, but I think we've collected enough data to know for sure that the internet has no good outcomes on children's development. Furthermore, I don't want devices spying on children, so any device that eventually connects to the internet is also a nono unless it's been given an open source operating system and software or completely lacks the ability to record video, audio, or scan for additional devices.

Kids forbidden, Internet OK

So I am a parent, and while my daughter is still a toddler (3), I've thought about it a lot. These plans may not hold as time goes on, but it's what I'll be working from at least.

We have an old Android tablet that is "Daddy's" where I've used ADB to remove almost every app from it, and hide the others. It has Disney Plus (some kids shows), Newpipe (set to open right to a playlist of pre-vetted stuff, mostly Sesame Street), and VLC (Mr. Rogers, Muppet Movies and Specials, some Looney Tunes). It only comes out on long trips (car rides more than two hours long), use is always supervised, and we lock the touch controls as much as we can once the content is playing so she can't stray into other YouTube content or the more grown up stuff on Disney.

I'm already working on a Kodi setup with just content for her on it as well, which is reach-able from the living room TV and will be on the play room TV if it gets one. All of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood is up on archive.org, and she loves it. Wife doesn't like piracy though, so I can't just get baby girl's Disney shows on it and make it a one stop shop.

As she gets older, we may set her up with an old laptop and edutainment games, but it would be entirely offline. Maybe a Minecraft server for her and friends we've met IRL. A co-worker runs one for his tween and it seems to do well used that way.

I don't think we'll be allowing internet until 12 years old or so. Even if she needs it earlier for school, she'll start on an isolated network segment to reduce chance of any malware spreading to the whole house. Use will be in a common area of the house where Mom and I can see what she's into at a glance. It will be filtered with PiHole or whatever the modern equivalent ends up being, to block both ads and inappropriate content. Ad blocker on the device itself with similar settings if possible to help catch any strays.

As she gets older, start teaching media and advertising literacy, as other comments have suggested. As we do that, we slowly scale back the training wheels/filters. Depending on how well we think she's ready, I can see unattended, still filtered, but somewhat monitored at 14 maybe. Cut the content filters at 15 maybe. Cut the ad filters at 16 maybe. That's all going to be super-dependent on her own "internet and ad literacy" though.

I want her to get enough of an idea of the unfiltered and ad-ridden internet that it's not a danger to her, but I do hope she'll decide to use ad blocking for her own sake.

17 or 18 it's completely hands off. Can't protect them forever, and she'll need to learn one way or another.

My goal is to protect her from creeps, protect her from exposure to stuff she's too young for, and to make sure she's prepared for the wider internet hellscape before dropping her in the deep end unsupervised like I was.

I'd be very interested in hearing the experience of any parents who have already been through this.

crontab, it's enough to :

• kill any add during specific period
• accumulate usage per app
• check if tabs are opened

and it's pretty straighforward to configure, e.g.

* 8-17 * * 1-5 killall SlayTheSpire && date >> ~/shame
# prevents from playing during weekday working hours

or for accumulation (which can be reset daily, weekly, etc by simply deleting the minutes file)

pgrep mpv && >> mpv_minutes; if [ $(wc -l mpv_minutes) -gt 1000 ]; then echo beyond threshold; fi

That works also for turning up/down network interfaces.

PS: I use this on myself. I'm not a child but I don't have perfect self control. It works.

The ipad is fine I have a secure network no porn and no voice over roblox. The trick is not to just take it but give them the 10 min warning and they will just bring it to you. We always check his communications and remind him not to share any personal information with anyone online. He has a healthy relationship with the internet and his devices. Sometimes to get his ipad he needs to go for a walk with me which makes for good conversation and it’s good for his health.

I wouldn't allow them to have a phone at all until they're around 12 to 14 (just like my parents). When it comes to the internet on a computer, the same thing would apply, but they can when supervised. If possible, their only web browser on their internet device will have uBlock Origin installed with custom block lists to prevent them from accessing websites they aren't supposed to. I would also like software (whether I'd have to program it if it doesn't exist or not) to prevent them from using their devices at bedtime. Not a father, but those are the basics of what I'd imagine I do. Expect one last thing: Roblox is completely out of the question. I don't care how much they beg. It's a predator nightmare so it would be completely banned

My logic is I like the idea of an evolutionary approach. They are given a computer it has no OS on it. They are given a book on how to install an OS. Broken up into chucks first they get to a CLI based OS then GUI then the internet. Then after that a PDA then a Smart phone. Mastering one moves them to the next one.

YouTube to them is just another steaming service they watch with the family on the TV.

Social media is not banned but there is a test on why its bad and how it destroys people and warps reality. Anything Meta or Twitter is already blocked on the network anyway for everyone in the household for tracking purposes.

I have an 11 year old son. He has neutered Internet that can do normal searches on. An hour budget a day for games. An hour for YouTube. Other than that he can talk to his friends on Discord or text. I check his Discord every now and then. He only talks to his buddies or my gaming buddies.

I'd wait until they're older, 7-8 years of age at least. Then I'd make sure they learn how it functions in some capacity and not just operating it mindlessly.

No social media at all. Heavily curated Youtube, and honestly at the end of the day I'd rather them play outside under supervision than spend all day online. The internet as it is does not go well with developing minds.

Block every site except itch.io until they turn 13, so as to recreate my childhood on addictinggames.com

I don't know, I spend a lot of time on the internet so it would feel hypocritical to limit it to a big extent, but I'm not sure if it would be doing someone a disservice to raise them to be like I am. Maybe I'd keep some desirable stuff blocked just so they'd have an incentive to go over to a friend's house where it isn't blocked.

No access until teenagers. If it was like when I was a kid probably younger but it's so fucked rn

kids get YouTube for 15 minutes a week.

everything else comes from Plex which has been vetted by myself or my spouse.

no internet access other than a school sanctioned chomebook.

I have a windows XP (sp3) system setup with encarta, local Wikipedia, and a bunch of other early learning computer software/games. it connects to the network for intranet, but no internet access at all.

Only with my eyeballs in presence. My son is autistic and barely verbal. He also has combination ADHD. I wish I could forbid the tablet entirely but it just doesn't work with a child facing these challenges. For example, he can't sit still through dinner so if we go out, he uses tablet until the food comes. He's obsessed with Legos. All the content he watches is Lego builds. He watches that on YouTube kids with me present to make sure he doesn't slip through the cracks. My eldest is 19 now and we let him access the internet unabated, that was a huge mistake I highly recommend people know exactly what their kids are watching and you should restrict traffic to safe content only.

Electronics are for amusement. If he isn't having fun (fussing), time to do something else.

We use it together and communicate during. Zombie mode --> time to do something else.

Great firewall of my house (whitelist). I'm sure he'll figure out how to bypass it one day, and hopefully by then I've raised him well enough to process the horrors of the open web.

No internet before they can actually explain how it works. My main goal would be to prevent them from thinking of it as some kind of magic machine that delivers them dopamine. Teach em TCP/IP, Networking, how HTTP functions, how things are actually rendered and what ot actually takes for information to go from bits to images. Then talk to them about how those mechanisms are exploited and how to exploit them back. Advertisement, dark patterns, attention-algorithms and all that. Scoff at them for not using an ad blocker and maybe teach them some small tricks that would make them cool among their peers. I mean, imagine if a Kindergartener showed up to class with their school mandated iPad but was fully able to operate Wireshark lmao

All that is a hypothetical of course, no way in hell I'm having kids.

Granted, this was a little while back, but we raised our kids with semi-supervised internet, with regular reminders about "don't even tell internet randos your real name." By semi-supervised, I mean that the computer was in a relatively public place, and we'd check on them often - so they knew that a parent could be over their shoulder in a moment.

It's definitely a balancing act. You want them to learn the computer and interpersonal skills but you don't want them in real trouble. And so you have to be permissive with a taut leash.

They got phones in junior high, 11 or 12 years old. Another balance between safety and "this is how kids communicate now". They got a healthy foundation with previous exposure/experience, so we felt they could handle that. Yes, there were times when we had to temporarily confiscate a phone, and the other rule was "parents get to look at your phone whenever they want for any or no reason". We exercised that clause, too.

They're all grown now and all appear to be using technology in healthy ways. We're lucky that the balance we tried to strike actually stuck.