this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
466 points (85.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

40163 readers
4519 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 161 points 1 month ago (2 children)

This is such a short guy thing to post.

[–] Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 69 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Dojan@pawb.social 41 points 1 month ago

Did you think apartment would change your hair?

[–] restingOface@quokk.au 11 points 1 month ago

Whatever helps you sleep at night

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 132 points 1 month ago (8 children)

I'm 165cm (5'4")

Everything I say is a short guy thing to say

I can't believe so many men are insecure about being me. I'm me and it's pretty damn cool. The feeling of fresh grass on my chin in the spring... the cover of mushrooms when it rains... the company of leprechauns... I see only pros and no cons

[–] jdr@lemmy.ml 45 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Ya but I bet you've never felt the abrupt bliss of donking your head on a doorframe.

[–] SEND_BUTTPLUG_PICS@lemmy.zip 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That dude doesn't even know the pleasure of having his knees jammed into the seat in front of him on a plane.

[–] ThunderclapSasquatch@startrek.website 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)

He's never seen the top shelf either

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

It's really dusty

Source - I'm tall and don't dust things

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

Lol. But here, have some actually great benefits I wish I had:

  • The bed is long enough (u don't need a custom made)
  • cars are great (u don't need to imitate a giraffe to half-assed see the world outside, or take the seat out)
  • you can kiss a woman while... Errr..you know. (Not trying to pull her nose out of your bellybutton first)
  • clothes actually are your size (you dont need 12xl shirts, just so the arms fit but you can also go camping with your tent)
  • airplanes are cheap (u dont have to buy 1st class just to not fold yourself in the middle)
  • doors are OK (u dont need to duck. Which u learned through pain)

But there are also benefits...like having a better oversight over crowds and. Err....yes.

[–] lauha@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

Here's more benefits:

  • you can wiggle your feet in the air when sitting on a chair
  • adjusting car seat is always easy; just pull it all the way to front
  • you can eat her ass while standing
  • you can have a nap even on two person couch
  • you don't have to buy a huge pickup even if your dick is small
  • you can work in the mines and have innate knowledge about metallurgy and smithing

Wait, what was the topic again?

load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago

That's such a short guy thing to say.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 105 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In other words, "be a dick to somebody and watch them get angry." Not sure why that's gendered.

Also, most of this is promoting toxic masculinity, so if it's supposed to have a quasi-feminist undertone, it's not doing it right.

[–] Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (10 children)
[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 33 points 1 month ago (15 children)

I'm sure if someone made the same post about women it would be a totally different story...

load more comments (15 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
[–] gray@lemmy.ml 68 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I don't understand the need for hating on short men and body shaming. We should come together to hate on men for their character.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Wander@sh.itjust.works 61 points 1 month ago (18 children)

I'm so glad I'm not short. Short guys just get shit on so much. Been at parties where someone just out of nowhere says "You'd be hot if you wasn't short". Like imagine that for anything else "you'd be hot if you wasn't black". "You'd be hot if you wasn't in a wheelchair" just getting shit on for genetics.

Same girls also cry murder if somebody says something about a fat girl, which is in their control.

load more comments (18 replies)
[–] nao@sh.itjust.works 44 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Reads like what someone thought would rage bait someone else

[–] Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 43 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Relax, it's not that deep.

[–] breadsmasher@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago

act your hair

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Carnelian@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

You wouldn’t get it

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 41 points 1 month ago (8 children)

This kinda reads as a list of things an obviously butthurt person would say

A chunk of them would just be pretty hilarious to say to me as an obviously big guy

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 37 points 1 month ago (2 children)

So be a cunt to someone for no reason pisses them off?

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 26 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I mean, that is the definition of ragebaiting

[–] stickly@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think rage baiting requires some degree of deniability and subterfuge. The "[normal question] if you were athletic?" is a good example. The ones that are just "Shut up short man" are too crass

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 1 month ago

'Things you should say if you want everyone to know you're rage-baiting shit disturber'.

Took me a while to understand that it wasn't a conversation between a woman and a man.

[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

I just don't understand why men don't do fun things with their beards like the 1800s

like c'mon you're telling me you DONT want to shave it into giant kitty whiskers?!?! BOOOORING :/

like look at this photo and tell me that this isn't an unexplored art form

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

The world was just not ready

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 1 month ago

"How to have a bad personality and gain toxic friends, a guide for neglected children"

[–] FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I love how OP restricted themselves to only respond in the mentioned phrases and how some have quite the reaction. Got me rolling.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Wataba@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ok?

Why though? Isn't there enough misery and shittiness in the world as is? Why stoke the hostility?

For fun?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Wakmrow@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (7 children)

Return_of_chippy in this thread:

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] dnick@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago

Sounds more like a list of things someone might be rage baited into saying

[–] schildfrosch@feddit.org 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

idk if i'm built different but i'd laugh at all of these bc they got me good. except sometimes i would answer to the feelings thing with "yes, that hurt" or some shit like that.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] atomicorange@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I vote we make “big truck energy” the opposite of “big dick energy”. Like: “you’re giving real big truck energy right now.”

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago

Randomly say "stop mansplaining!" in the middle of a conversation.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

"Jesus, is it your time of the month!?"

"Awwww! Your truck/motorcycle is adorable!"

"Shhhhhhhh...hush."

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] halfeatenpotato@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm actually a little surprised at the reactions in this thread. When I read this, I was thinking of my husband and friends I could casually drop these lines on, and it's something we'd all laugh about. I guess I just wasn't thinking of someone using any of these lines sincerely or maliciously, and idk I didnt get the vibe that OP is just a straight cunt that hates men. But I could be totally wrong.

At any rate, somewhere in the thread below, u/wonderingwanderer created an alternate woman ragebait list, and that shit was hilarious as well. My personal favorite was "Act your weight".

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] SourDrink@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I find the word Champ to be wonderfully patronizing.

"What's got you down, Champ?"

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›