Nintendo

Ralph Bakshi, is that you?

wait wait link gets really high and scene cut to a bunch of pottery breaking sounds

Scene: storeroom, deep beneath Hyrule castle.

Link: bumps into a ceramic pot, knocking it to the floor, shattering everywhere. Mixed in with the shards of pottery are several rupies.

Zelda: look of shock at what Link did.

Link: looks at pot, scared, then slowly looks up to Zelda.

Zelda: her gaze changes to a mischievous ear-to-ear grin.

Scene: pottery breaking music montage - everything in the storeroom is laid to waste.

Don't worry. They already confirmed they'll do reshoots with Chris Pratt as Zelda.

That would be a fair assessment.

From the concept artist industry perspective, all the concept art was done using GenAI and a skeleton crew of artists to make it work for film. So I don't think this film had much of a budget and is aimed at fans of the game in general.

Of course it's going to be mid, none of the Zelda games have anything other than a boilerplate storyline except for Majora's mask. They'll have to make shit up and that almost never goes well

I am very scared it will look like cosplay.

Ugh, I just had a visceral reaction when you said "Maze Runner."

I watched all three films back-to-back once, not out of interest or curiosity or commitment to the plot, no. It was out of masochism.

I knew that they were terrible movies all along, and yet I couldn't stop watching because I knew I deserved the misery and self-loathing that it was causing me...

And it wasn't even in a campy way that you could just laugh at and have a good time. They were just bad.

Well EXCUUUUUUUSE ME! Princess....

Now you are going to start a nerdy discussion whether Link really can't talk, doesn't want or like to talk or does indeed talk, even though not directly shown usually in the games.

There is plenty of reason to assume that he actually can talk fine, it was just omitted for convenience or immersion in the games. It was implied often by the dialogues thoughout various games.

Official mangas show him talking, dialogue options, or that e.g. Zelda learns Links name when asking him in OoT imply this as well.

ngl, I’d lose it if his only line is a well-placed “well, eXcUsE mE, PrInCeSs!”

EDIT: I see that I am far from the only person to make this joke. Please accept my apologies for my lack of originality. For penance I shall spend an hour walking among ReDeads but not battling them.

I'd like it if every time he starts to speak Navi yells LISTEN!

I would love a Metroid film, but one that takes its cues from Moon where Samus is basically alone, but she has some kind of JARVIS-like companion with which to speak. Just big, abandoned spaces, punctuated by action set pieces.

Same as the Mario movies.

I assume you're not including SMB93 in this, because NO ONE can forget that masterpiece.