cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/44261915
literally put shit on egg -- enshitification
this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2026
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Eggshitification
Tell me you’ve never had to get eggs out of a nest, without telling me. Shit everywhere. They’re birds. So much shit.
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- NFTs of specific eggs
- egg crypto currency
- mandatory AI driven (needs an account) app to use the egg
- lower the production to control the price
- lobby the gov to mandate that everyone needs to consume an egg a day & be able to prove it (or jail time)
- use personal data to determine the optimal price per eg for each customer
- egg loot boxes
Egg lootboxes already exist, they're called kinder surprise
Poor old USA never got Kinder surprise, the FDA stopped them from ever being sold there since a plastic shell in chocolate are "non-nutritive items implanted in food" that makes them "not suitable for sale"
FDA is run by big microplastic, not smol macroplastic.
I think what you're saying might be 100% correct. Just add a tablespoon of big oil and a cup of big pharma.
Plenty of calories in plastic
I'm vegan so I don't eat plastic
Lol
I wonder why they don't ban the king cakes in Louisiana. They all have a plastic baby in them and those things really can fuck up your teeth. They are also horrible but that's a side issue.
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Micro transaction: Get the yolk for free but the white costs .99
Took me a minute to decipher through the minimal pixels but once I got it, made me giggle
Eggland's Best already stamps their logo on the eggs they sell. I consider that advertising on the eggs.
Their eggs are so bad I'm surprised they don't stamp other companies' logos on them.
Enchickification
Sell the yolks separately.
Chicken Run 2.0
Enchickenshitification
Enchickification
Brought to you by: 
I’m just gonna mute those egg ads, the sizzle for crispy fried eggs no more for me
Technically chickens lay eggs and shit using the same external opening (cloacal opening), so it's just a matter of controling shit-to-egg ratio. It was designed to carry out enshittification once they seize the global market. /s
Eggs watch you and record all of your conversations
Fewer eggs laid per week, but charge the same for them.
Technically not free. They get free food, housing, and medical care. For some thats probably better than what they got now.
You mean suffer horribly in tiny cages and forced to pump out eggs at an unnatural rate and then slaughtered when they are deemed "spent".
And cage-free is a minority of the world egg production. And even cage-free has issues with quality of life.
Not to mention the billions of male chicks that are ground alive the day they hatch because they are useless.
Pasture raised all day babyyyyy
Tbh even pasture raised isn't perfect but it's the only way I let myself engage with the egg industry
garden raised, or regenerative but these are more expensive eggs.
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They get free food, housing, and medical care
To the same level that people imprisoned in Auschwitz did, yeah
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My local Shop-Rite recently recently had a sale of a dozen "large" eggs for 99 cents. I bought a dozen and they were like the size of fucking quail eggs. Can't complain for $1, I guess. These days, I have to buy Jumbo eggs in order to get something that is like the size of a normal egg.
The subscription model would just access to online catalog of various vendors you can buy from
Dude ... Shut the fuck up. Big egg gonna have a meeting
probably waste money to use ink to print ads on the eggs.
EggI Agents
What free eggs lol Humans literally pay for their entire existence already.
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"They're a business and they need to make money." - Average Dipshit
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