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cal≠kcal
1 gallon gasoline contains 31 million small calories, while the human caloric requirements are given in large calories. 1000 small calories = 1 large calorie. So the calculations are off by a factor of 1000. The confusion stems from the fact that both are commonly referred to as "calories", for some stupid reason.
So in reality you would have to drink another gallon in just 2-3 weeks.
Everything you said was correct, except the last sentence. Still pretty sure drinking a gallon of gasoline would be enough to last you your entire life.
That life would just be less than 2-3 weeks.
Assuming you could process it without ill effects.
If you thought having Nestle was bad, Can you imagine if BP was involved in food?