this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2026
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Han shot first.
No! And the reason I say no is because Greedo didn't shoot at all! In some versions they both shoot and in some Han shoots first and in some second. In the one I grew up with (VHS box set, face edition) he is the only one to shoot.
Yeah, no. That green fucker never even had a chance to pull his trigger. Han capped him in the coldest of blood then sauntered out with less bothers than Winnie-the-Pooh with a tummy full of hunny.
I know. But back when Lucas first changed it, "Han shot first" was the slogan people used. It's short, as slogans should be. What else would you use? "Greedo never shot"? "Only Han shot"? Those don't sound as good, at least to me. "Han shot first" can also mean that Greedo never got to fire his gun, because Han was quicker. So I'll stick with that.
Han shot only. It's supposed to show how cold of a bastard Han is. Portraying it as self-defense undercuts that.
I get you. I think my problem with Han Shot First is that it forgives the ret-con and I don't want to do that. I'd rather be pedantic about it. But I have no hate to people that make the pithy Han Shot First comment, its better than Han shot in self-defense beccause Mos-Eisley is a stand your ground state.
God forbid a character start out as an asshole so he has room for character growth.
What I hate so much about the modern versions is that not only do they try to make him not a bad guy, but they out that stupid scene with Jabba in right after it. Narratively it serves the same purpose as the previous scene and the dialogue is nearly identical. Plus it really cheapens how big of a threat Jabba should be. Han steps on him. Jabba was throwing people into a pit just for shits and giggles. Why would he let someone step on him? Some scenes really should stay deleted.
I wouldn't call that being an asshole.
Only Han shot.
Maclunkey!
FTFY
And he was so full of shit when talking about the Kessel run.
Han: "I did the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs. smug grin"
Luke: "Isn't a parsec a unit of distance, not time?"
Han: "Shut up, kid."
I always interpreted this as him using shortcuts through dangerous areas.
It was so dumb that they tried to justify that comment on the Solo movie.
There was a lot of dumb shit in that Solo movie.
Man, I did the trip to the shops in under 1KM!
Chewwie never gets tired of hearing about that one.
Damn right!
The arizona ranger did
With the big iron on his hip?
Big iron, biiig iiron!