Find writings from religious scholars and priests about this hurt. Maybe even from other religions. You may feel alone in your hurt and anger but many many many people have experienced this situation and come out the other side with their faith strengthened.
This could be a call to leave simplistic faith behind. The childhood learned level of faith (Good/Bad) is where most adherents stop and that can smack against reality hard.
Maybe some reading for later: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Night_of_the_Soul
Awareness: A de Mello Spirituality Conference in His Own Words https://share.google/dpfEA5EmtIFGXJ5Nj
-Fair to middling
-Hanging in there like a hair in a biscuit
-Finer than frog hair