Eos

I had a similiar situation with a very close friend of mine. Absolute abhorent views but he had a hard life so I always made excuses and thought I'd be a good influence on him. Thought that maybe I'd change him over time. That was a mistake. Eventually over time I realised that being around him was unpleasant, and it was actually affecting my enjoyment of activities I'd otherwise really be excited for and have fun in. And I noticed that each time he couldn't make it for something, I'd enjoy it 10x more than when he was there. It also came to a point where I realised that instead of my identity changing his views on the LGBTQIA+ community, it actually solidified and defended his own hateful rightwing beliefs. Because instead of thinking "I'm wrong and my friend has made me realise this" it made him believe "I'm right, and the fact that I am friends with a trans woman proves it." He could never be called transphobic because he always used his friendship with me as a defence of his beliefs.

It came to a point where I had to do the difficuilt thing of cutting him loose and my mental state has never been better. You never realise how draining it is until you step out of that kind of dynamic. Genuinely felt like a huge weight had been lifted and my only regret is not having done it sooner.

If the friend group is costing you piece of mind and genuinely draining you, you need to decide whether or not you can keep staying in this dynamic and think about the cost it has on you personally. It is hard to find friends these days and I do genuinely hope you can find people who make life more enjoyable. I've never been particularly good at it but for what it is worth, you're welcome to message me for a chat whenever you feel like it. You deserve people who make you feel happy and safe.

I've been mainly using Gentoo with i3 and I've been having a lot of fun. I've also used Arch for about 2 years. NixOS is very interesting and I'd be curious to try it too maybe in the future. I used to use Gnome but I have fallen for WMs especially i3. I tried dwm and while I do like it, I just like i3 a bit more.

I've been reading some Neuromancer recently so far it seems cool. I wanted to read some non-theory things for a change and chill a little. I'm kind of new to the genre but if any of you have any suggestions let me know!

Welcome! If you need anything or have any questions there are a lot of comrades who would be happy to help, myself included. Glad to have you here!

Happy birthday Oppo! Hope you enjoy and have lots of snacks!

It'll be okay. We're all in this together. 🫂

I wondered how long it would take.. With that being said, welcome home new comrades! Let's discuss food sometime!

During my time on Rednote I've only really found people to be very kind and supportive but I have little real life experience because I've unfortunately never been to China.

I can't speak too much about the other experiences lived by LGB people because I just don't know enough to accurately say, I've heard mixed things, but for trans people I've heard interesting things. Generally there seems to be a larger concentration of trans people in Beijing and Guangdong. General acceptance can vary but living a happy life is certainly possible from what I have seen. I once had a conversation with a person on the topic who had been to China for the purpose of learning about and helping trans people in China. I think the most interesting thing they said about the subject is they had never in their entire time encountered a single trans person who was homeless.

Transitioning is legal but requires surgery (That is to say, you have to have surgery before your ID legal documents can be updated to reflect your accurate credentials) and gender affirming care is restricted. I am not sure how restricted but I do know that recieving care is possible as there are gender clinics in the country. As far as I was aware I did not think there were any other protections in place for LGBTQ+ people in the country but your friend says the opposite so for that I don't know what to think but I'd probably take their word on that over mine. I really can't speak to how the general populace views the average trans person but it largely seems to be mixed and depends on which region you are in and who you speak to.

Generally I think for a trans person it isn't the worst place to live, I'd certainly rather live there than terf island but there is room for improvement. I do hope China will take inspiration from Vietnam and Cuba's example in the future and I'm optimistic about that.

I wish I could paint a more accurate picture for you but that's all I know from my brief investigation and limited information. I hope it helps you.

Ohh I didn't see that button on my phone. I was very confused.I managed to get around it now though thanks :) I'll send you a DM now.

It's hard to believe I used to really like her back in the day. Now whenever I see her post I take psychic damage.

Sure sounds great! I'm not so sure how to DM you though.. how do I go about doing that?

Thank you that's very useful!