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As a parent, if my kid did that, I'd likely side with the neighbour. I would put it (very loosely) in the category of "natural consequence" punishments.
It fits the crime, it discourages the crime, it forces empathy with the cat, and it does no real harm.
This is my favorite answer. I'd argue that he got less than the natural consequences of his actions. In nature, when one assaults another, even with something as harmless as water, it's usually reasonable to interpret it as a threat, the response to which is usually violence. That kid is lucky he didn't get a face full of claws. I've gotten a lot worse from gently touching cats that, as it turned out, didn't want to be touched. Boundaries are important.
Natural consequences doesn't mean "law of the jungle" here. It just means linking cause and effect in a proportionate manner.
I tend to use a lot of "natural consequence parenting". Basically, the response should flow from the cause. If you throw water over your friend, you can't then complain if they throw water over you. You learn that, while it's fun when expected, it can be deeply unpleasant when unexpected.
It's a lot more effective than random generic punishments. The trick is shielding them from excessive results, while allowing proportional ones to play out. E.g. swinging on a chair will get a warning, but often not stopped. When they fall, there's an "I told you so" before/with the cuddle. If there is a risk of a more serious injury however, e.g. the corner of a table where their head may hit, then I step in and stop things.
I don't have kids but this is pretty much how my dad raised me. It made me really respect when he gave me a hard no for something, it meant "no really the risk majorly outweighs the reward" and even if I didn't understand it at the time I trusted it. I got a lot of I told you so after varying seriousness of injuries lol. Eventually I learned that the soft warning meant I was going to have a lot of fun but I needed to be ready for if it went sideways. Now I've got a pretty healthy sense of my own limits and when to start gauging risk/reward
That's basically the goal I'm aiming for. It's also worth remembering to always give an (age appropriate) explanation with the "no". If you're using a hard no, then there is something they don't yet understand. Explaining it lets them integrate that knowledge into their future risk management.
The only downside is their confidence is high enough to terrify me! The job of containing and shaping that confidence, without damaging it gives me plenty of grey hairs.
As a native social media pedant, I'd just like to take a moment to split hairs and point out that's the literal definition of that phrase.
With all that said, I'm glad you've taken that approach. They're very lucky to have you. I wish I could've had more adults like that in my life as a child. Here's to you and your contribution to supporting the next generation. May they pass on those values, too.
That's why I clarified. There's 2 ways to read the phrase, one a lot harsher than the other.
It seems to be working well. It also results in me being surprised a lot of the time. I'm ready to deal with a scuffed knee, or a bruised ego. Instead they either get back up and try again, or just pull it off. At that point I need to mentally correct for their new capabilities.
The key thing is, I'm not looking after a small pet, I'm training a future adult. They need to both instinctively understand how the world works, while packing as much awesomeness and magic into the formative years as possible. Letting them learn and practice is a big part of that.
I think it depends a bit on where the cat is. If my cat is in somebody’s yard and the owner does not like it, it’s perfectly fine to spray my cat with water. In fact I do the same to my neighbours cat to prevent cat fights. If my cat is on neutral territory, I would be more pissed.
Agreed, there are 1001 context points that could change things around, one way, or the other.
My head hurts from reading that. Comma and periods, people. Comma and periods.
This is what big comma and periods want you to believe. Don't be a fool!
too many commas and periods to provide a believable refuttal
Too few periods indicate a pregnancy.
..,clea.rly ,,.com.,.,mas .,….a n .,.d ,p,e,r,i,o,d,s……,.,.,areimportant
please dont say we need to use correct grammer its unnecessary periods or commas in all of history have never really added anything to a sentence or body of text writing is about the soul not trying to control peoples formatting formatting its self is often overrated and not at all necessary inorder to discern what the meaning is of the writers passage
Let's eat, Grandpa.
Let's eat Grandpa.
Commas save lives, friend.
I think there are a few people who haven't spotted that this is sarcasm. At least, I think it's sarcasm.
That's the disturbing part, people are so dumb that it's often impossible to know if it's sarcasm or stupidity. We've gotten to a point where it's often "this is too dumb/weird/illogical to be sarcasm".
My neighbors daughter had one of those water guns. I told her if she shoots at me, I'll get the hose and retaliate. She grinned, shot at me, and ran away laughing.
I talked to her dad, he nodded, and when she came back for more mischief, she got wet.
If it was funny to do it to the Cat.... It was hilarious doing it to the kid.
If my kid did that, I'd let you splash them again.
Truly cannot conceive of any other appropriate response. My kid's an asshole sometimes, better he get gentle lessons now.
Seriously my first thought if I saw this all occurring and my kid came complaining to me about it is I'd just say "well this is how the cat feels"
Time to splash the father
You can tell the people in here thinking it's ok to retaliate like that are people that live alone with cats or in their parents basement with cats. I have cats and children. Y'all this isn't the way to go about this.
At 10 they should know better. Now, I don't know the dynamic of this "neighborship", and pettiness is not the way to go about anything. At the same time though, it's only water.
Like, I agree with the tit for tat. But don't let your cat outside.
Who tf gets a pet cat and doesn't let it outside? If you don't have space for a cat don't get one.
Who tf gets a pet cat and doesn’t let it outside?
People that love their cats and don't want them to die young. Outdoor cats live an average of 2-5 years, indoor-only cats live an average of 10-15 years. By allowing cats outside, they're exposed to pathogens, parasites, and dangers that they wouldn't otherwise experience. In my area, there are coyotes, bobcats, rattlesnakes, hawks, and owls, all of which will quite happily make a meal of a cat. There are also cars; they don't tend to be able to stop on a dime.
Worldwide domestic cats kill billions of songbirds annually. Many songbirds are insectivores that prey on mosquitoes and flys helping to keep their numbers in check.
cats destroy native wildlife… at least in australia, it’s a huge problem
https://invasives.org.au/our-work/feral-animals/cats-in-australia/
(whilst this article references feral cats, there’s obviously minimal difference between feral cats and roaming house cats as far as wildlife destruction goes)
People with coyotes for neighbours.
I'm not gonna shame people for outdoor cats... but you're being a little obtuse here.
I’ll take things that never happened for 200$
"Next time it won't be water".
Bullets?
Cat piss
Everyone here balancing the ethics of getting wet like it's assault.
Water melts snowflakes and wicked witches, everyone else need not worry.
All living things should be used to being wet either all the time or somewhat regularly. To think beyond that, wow, society has its teeth in you and you are lost.
It is assault, though.
Kid acted maliciously towards the cat. It's not like the kid accidentally knocked a bottle of water and some of it splashed the cat. No. There was a conscious decision to torment the cat by deliberately throwing water over it.
Punishment fits the crime here.
ESH. Kid shouldn't have done it, but also the lady shouldn't let the cat outside
I don't get why Americans hate animals. You do realise earth isn't owned by humans?
Mate, cats are not a native species. They hunt for sport and wind up absolutely destroying the local ecosystem. Outdoor cats should be killed onsight like literally any other invasive species.
"These are non-native predators that, even using conservative estimates, kill 1.3–4 billion birds and 6.3–22.3 billion mammals each year in the U.S. alone (Loss et al. 2013, Nature Communications)"
I personally care more about my local ecosystem than some cat that someone is too lazy to play with and keep entertained.
That the risk you take with an outdoor cat. It's not even like water is harmful to it.
I used to have an outdoor cat and if that happened I would have shrugged it off and expected him not to go there again.
That the risk you take
Well someone might just hit your car, that's the risk you take by driving, nobody got hurt, they shouldn't be held accountable. I would have shrugged it off and started taking the bus.
This is fun, we can remove all accountability from everything that's not harming someone directly!
That's the risk you take with an outdoor brat. It's not even like water is harmful to it.
I used to have an outdoor brat and if that happened I would have shrugged it off and expected him not to go there again.