this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2026
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And a Boston globe article that had a paywall and the title wasnt as fun:
https://archive.li/Bh47J

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[–] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip 127 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Context a lot of people seem to be missing by only reading the title:

This bar was catering to immunocompromised patrons. Not just women but women who can’t go to other public venues. This seemed to be a big part of the bar’s success.

It would be like a board game pub not letting people play board games one night a week.

[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 117 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

But then if you actually read the article, the bar has only been open since last year and has been failing horribly, while the owner is working several jobs and lives in her car to try and keep it open. This was pretty much a last ditch effort to try and make enough money to not have to shut down and now the community members who have wanted a place like this to exist the most are getting all pissy and boycotting it. Essentially guaranteeing it's closure.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 31 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Yeah, this is 100% right.

My State is full of people like this. They scream and moan about things not catering to them... and when what they want does cater to them they won't support it, and they don't understand that businesses need customers to exist...

they just seem to want business to exist that cater to them... but don't actually want to ever patronize to such businesses. but the second that business decides to try and make itself more appealing to more customers... it's EVIL. And if you patronize this business... YOU are evil now too.

And if you try to point this out to them... they just go mental. They don't understand that businesses have costs, they think the notion of profitability/sustainability is also EVIL.

Same with housing. They protest for cheaper housing. OK, we need to build more housing then. And then when more housing is proposed to be built, they protest it too. The same people most of the time.

Generally here the people who scream the loudest are the most hypocritical. They screech at everyone we need more small independent businesses... but they all shop at Amazon and Target exclusively.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

I agree with you on everything but the housing part. The opponents are more often property owners in the area who have "something to lose" - in their resale value and the neighborhood getting more congested (but let's be real, their main reason is not wanting to live by the filthy poors)

That said, I wouldn't have moved here if there was a 20-unit building on the block so I imagine I wouldn't be thrilled about one getting built.

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[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 22 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

I think the mistake was trying to run a bar instead of perhaps renting an event center or something a few nights a week. You just don’t have a community large enough to sustain that kind of space, which is the endless tragedy of queer spaces that aren’t in like New York, Los Angeles or London.

[–] Ikon@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 weeks ago

This is actually a really good point that i dont think most people would even consider

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[–] awfulawful@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 3 weeks ago

Considering how deep in the red the bar is that it's relying on volunteers, success might not exactly be the word. Since it's got on one remaining owner who was only in it to support two owners who've left, the bar is not going to be around much longer without a dedicated, forgiving customer base. I have seen similar establishments with much more accommodating followings close.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

So you didn't actually read it, then.

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[–] Technus@lemmy.zip 92 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Making masks optional one whole day of the week hardly seems like something that deserves a boycott, especially if the alternative is the bar going out of business.

[–] Psionicsickness@reddthat.com 29 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah, but they made the poor decision to placate this small demographic for so long, this will always happen when they change.

[–] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 49 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

A community meeting on 11 September was held to address the controversy, with some participants joining via Zoom to voice their opinions on the new mask mandate.

During the meeting, Jackie Matellian, the bar’s last remaining owner after the other two owners quit months earlier, became emotional while speaking about the pressure she was under.

“It was not my passion project,” Matellian said. She said she had been left responsible for a $50,000 business loan, and had been living in a car for six months while working four jobs. “I never really wanted this,” she added. “I don’t think I’m doing a very good job.”

This community meeting was not able to bring forth a resolution.

This really says more about the community than anything else.

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Its honestly tragic that people can be this vitriolic over someone who impacted their own life so hard to provide the kind of third space that people beg for.

Literally a group of J Jonah Jameson's.

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[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 30 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)
[–] Jinna@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (4 children)

The pandemic didn't end, the numbers just got low enough that most are willing to accept the remainder. Some communities have kept making the effort to stay away from the "acceptable losses" mentality which for those most immunocompromised may be their last lifeline to any in person contact with the rest of humanity.

So thanks for making a facetious joke I guess, but both sides of the issue in the article are real and there are no easy answers.

[–] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 33 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

There were and likely always will be diseases out there that kill people or significantly degrade their freedom in life. It's not just Corona.

[–] Jinna@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Yes, it's a bit sad it took this long for enough people to reconsider if that's ok or not. You're free to continue choosing and calibrating the acceptable death rate of your actions. Just don't be surprised when others do not choose the same rate you personally consider acceptable.

[–] architect@thelemmy.club 8 points 3 weeks ago

This place is literally closing.

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[–] WoodScientist@lemmy.world 21 points 3 weeks ago

Numbers going down to levels comparable with numerous other diseases is very much the pandemic "ending." By your logic, the Black Death never went away. Some people still die from Yersinia pestis each year.

It's one thing to mask up in a real pandemic. It's another to advocate for a position where humanity will have to remained masked from now until the end of time.

[–] Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That is call an endemic disease. Which is where most pandemics wind up. Diseases didn't suddenly come into existence in 2020, it is myopic to think that covid is exceptional. To the immunocompromised all transmittable diseases are dangerous and there are thousands of them that are endemic. The people claiming there is still a covid pandemic are uneducated conspiracy theorist on the same level of the anti-vaxxers.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 17 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Masks don't just inhibit the spread of Covid. They caused a precipitous drop in influenza, another potentially deadly disease, during the height of the pandemic. And other respiratory diseases were diminished as well. People with compromised immune systems were ironically safer in public places than any other time in their lives. Now these spaces which continue masking provide social interaction and emotional support for them and their friends. I didn't know it was a thing but I think it's great, I hope they make enough business to continue. I mask when I'm in indoor public places because my vulnerable spouse is recovering from their second pneumonia hospitalization this year, but I'm aware masks are better at containing germs than keeping them out, which is why the group effort is more effective.

[–] Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Im sure getting people to practice basic hygiene would also help, people are nasty.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I don't know about you but I find wearing a mask helps remind me about washing my hands before touching my face.

I do think it could lower profits in a bar because you'd be more conscious about drinking and eating.

[–] Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz 3 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

If you are were a mask while not sick, you are delusional. It is hygiene theater. Unless it is a properly fitted N95 mask you are doing nothing than giving yourself false security. Having a venue specifically for the immuno-compromised is fine and all but if there are not enough of them to keep the business afloat, boycotting them wont change that. Maybe having specific events hosted at the bar would work better than expecting everyone at all times to cater to a specific demographic. Also the sorts of people that dont wash their hands and cover their mouths with their elbows while coughing dont care and infact actively try to negate the efforts of others.

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[–] Simon_Shitewood@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 weeks ago

Similarly COVID doesn't just spread COVID, it weakens the immune system in ways that permanently make people more vulnerable to other illnesses and more likely to develop autoimmune disorders. Many endemic diseases like flu are still seeing higher rates of hospitalisation than before.

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[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

It's one night. You think it's acceptable for the community to hold the bar hostage like petulant children, for attempting to save itself from closing? The last owner is living in her car.

[–] _fryerDan@sh.itjust.works 33 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

i wondered the same. seems like that's a thing with those bars

COVID-era safety norms have been especially prominent in some queer and disabled communities, sometimes creating friction with commercial realities, and online call-out culture can rapidly affect small hospitality businesses.

[–] Technus@lemmy.zip 20 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Some conventions (mainly furry ones) still require masks in their dealer halls.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Both MFF and AC have not required masking since... 2022?

[–] Technus@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 weeks ago

FC still does, though they haven't been consistent year to year

[–] StabbingSky@lemmy.zip 12 points 3 weeks ago

They catered to immunocompromised women.

It's not because of Covid. It's because it's a bar for queer ppl that's also immunocompromised, suffering of immunologic diseases such as AIDS and the like.

[–] nullspace@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The apology post didn’t land well with their followers due to a lack of alt text. Comments included: “This is not an accessible post,” and: “It indicates the lack of care or interest in Disability intersectionality.”

Are these people strawmen? Because they sound exactly like the kind of people chuds make fun of.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I live in MA. People like this are everywhere here.

They are not straw, they are very real, and they love to go around fucking up everyone else's good work because they are so self righteous and entitled.

In my own city they wanted to rebuild a park that was falling apart, and the project took 5 years, because insane people living nearby repeatedly sued the city to stop them from fixing/improving this park, and the suite were dismissed again and again because they were baseless, but entitled arrogant people don't care about anything other than getting their way, and punishing/hurting other people when they can't. And their 'talking points' or 'concerns' are always baseless, hysterical, and simple factually wrong.

Good news is they finally started construction on the park last spring, bad news is the costs of rebuilding it are now double what they would have been if they project had proceeded 5 years ago... and this is exactly why everything in the USA pubic works projects costs double or triple what it does in other countries... because so many of our private citizens are deeply emotionally invested in opposing development of any kind whatsoever, even when it's restoring a park with dying trees and crumbling walking paths.

[–] rabidhamster@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Lived in a few states, with MA being one for about a year. MA pretty much is the strawman in right wing political cartoons made real. Shit, even doing the state taxes took longer than my federal taxes and the state taxes from the next state I moved to, combined.

Like if half the reactionary folks out there were honest with themselves, they'd realize they don't hate liberalism or leftism, they just hate Mass.

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[–] CedricWhaley@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 weeks ago

It's like they watched PCU and said 'yes, please'.

[–] ImWaitingForRetcons@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

… this sounds like classic taking an axe to your own leg scenario. I don’t think there’s that many lesbian dive bars left there for the patrons to decide to financially wreck a bar to be a good decision.

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[–] Nollij@sopuli.xyz 13 points 3 weeks ago

This is such a niche demographic that I have to wonder how it was ever viable. From the article, it sounds like it was specifically targeted towards lesbians (not the broader LGBTQ, or LGBTQ-friendly), who are immunocompromised, and want to spend time at a bar socializing with other immunocompromised lesbians. That's going to be a vanishly small percentage of any community. I'm betting that total population in the city is what they would need to have at the bar every weekend.

As a business model, it would probably even be a stretch to target that one day per week.

[–] moldy_rice@piefed.keyboardvagabond.com 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

How did people consume food or drinks with masks on?

[–] Nalivai@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
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Man, I wish I had one bar that had a seriously enforced N95 masks required just one night of the week in my whole city

[–] nbsp@programming.dev 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

ahh.... so thats what the daily show joke was about

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[–] Smeagol666@crazypeople.online 4 points 3 weeks ago

~~Shit~~ identity politics like this is one of the major reasons the left is so fragmented. Calling out this kind of mental illness is considered rude now. I guess we'll just have to burn it down and start over.

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