Dad Jokes

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Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they can understand, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to: !unclejokes@lemmy.world
Adult topics with which to be cautious or avoided: drugs, sex, death, racism.
Must post text, image (e.g., meme), or direct link. Do not post external links that cannot be viewed directly from the community (e.g., link to joke website, Facebook, Instagram, etc.)
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founded 3 years ago

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loopy@lemmy.world

289

The company that produces yardsticks won't be making them any longer. (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 days ago by WhatsHerBucket@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

18 comments fedilink hide all child comments

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[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 51 points 5 days ago (2 children)

This took me way too long to get.

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 30 points 5 days ago (1 children)

How long, exactly? About three feet?

[–] sudo@lemmy.today 19 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You need to meter these jokes.

[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Especially if going to great lengths for a chuckle.

[–] bdot@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

just inching his way to his next joke

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

I guarantee the next one won't measure up

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago

I clicked the OP a few times thinking I didn't reach the joke yet lol

[–] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 30 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Finally. A proper fucking dad joke.

[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago

it took quite a long time, but we got there

[–] GreyEyedGhost@piefed.ca 19 points 5 days ago (1 children)

They should. Meter sticks are superior.

[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

thankfully, one meter is under a yard.

you just need to dig for it!

[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 11 points 5 days ago

Swiggity swoke I’m stealing your joke.

[–] nailingjello@piefed.zip 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

But will they ever make them shorter?

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

We'll have to get a ruling on that call.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

Well played!

[–] beejboytyson@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

Wow this actually made me laugh....

[–] daychilde@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

I spent too much time looking for a source article before I noticed where this was posted. Nicely done. oof. lol

[–] Steve@startrek.website 3 points 5 days ago

I don't do drugs any more