I'm autistic and this would really simplify things tbh
this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2026
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Right? I don't usually behave like this in professional or formal environments, but in every other situation, I try to give myself permission to be me. Fuck it. Be weird.
No, be yourself. If that gets you labeled weird by them, then it's their loss. Wasn't going to be a compatible relationship anyway.
Hey, weird does not automatically mean bad. The people I most like to hang with are really weird people.
I would be enthusiastic and honored if you approached me like that
Same, and I basically just actually do this.
...would probably have to be drunk to do the last line, though.
Why do I do this?
If you find that intro immensely offputting... I will likely find you immensely insufferable.
Communication still works two ways, even if the normies play by different rules.
The inigo montoya style:
Step 1: Give a polite greeting.
Step 2: State your name.
Step 3: Establish a personal connection.
Step 4: Manage expectations of the relationship.
"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
FYI,
You can do single line
breaks on Lemmy. Just
put 2 spaces at the end
of a line before the Enter.
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That's basically a version of how I open Teams meetings with Developers.
"I'm Chilie. I'm a Planner. Are you on fucking crack proposing to build this environmental nightmare in the middle of a floodway?"
I was wondering how a floodway affected software developers but I eventually figured it out.
It's funny. My sister has a very sucessful career in the software industry, and I'm a City Planner.
We're always confusing the rest of the family at holidays. We both have a lot of strong opinions on development and we're both interested in the other's career, so listening to our back and forth conversations has to be maddening.
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An hour later, I trod the same path.
Everything about it makes perfect sense except "floodway". And, if I buzzword hard enough, I could see that meaning something like the Slashdot effect/hug of death.
... I'm going to start using it that way.
I develop software for mining (ore) operations, so a floodway didn't sound entirely implausible.
I've also spent all week doing tech-support because I'm the only one that's not on vacation, so my brain is a little fried.
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This would be amazing.
Hi Katie. I don’t have any friends. I like vodka and people who don’t comment on my thinning hair. You’re being a real bitch right now.
The last young lady who told me an interesting fact about dinosaurs was on my mind for a month.
What was the interesting fact?
It's terrible but I don't remember, over time was replaced by her pretty face in my brain.
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Spock played a key role in their extinction.
Know what? Next time I ask a woman out...
"Hi I'm [Redacted], I'm [Redacted]yo. I like photography and nature walks and my cats. You're really pretty and seem cool, you wanna eat lunch together?"
(Fuck actually now that I type that out, it's actually just a less eloquent phrasing of my current approach. Well. Consarn it.)
Am a woman, would be down for someone asking me out like that. I now know something about you, I know your thoughts about me and don't have to guess, and you're putting forward a suggestion of what to do.
Tbh, it feels way more honest and real than most guys cheesy pickup lines. I'd probably engage with someone who approached me like that.
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Imagine people introduce themselves like dogs. Your ass smells nice, let's fuck.
No joke, I've had this happen.
You need to elaborate
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My follicular challenges notwithstanding, I like Katie and would want to be her friend.
I tried this after watching my daughter go up to someone and just straight up ask if they want to be friends before names or anything.
All I can say is it works.
Don't threaten me with a good time.
This would be a relief. Yes, I am autistic, why do you ask?
Picture it: "hi I'm Hedgehog what's your favorite dinosaur? My favorite dinosaur is parasaurolophus"
Unfortunately now I'm an adult and asking people about their favorite dinosaurs marks me as weird, which in the workplace is not good.
Tbh where I work asking someone their favourite dinosaur would probably start a multiple hour long discussion/argument.
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No, you’re bald, Katie and my dad can beat up your dad.
I love the idea of two grown ass adults in their 50s standing on the side line as their 80+ year old dads charge at each other with their walkers/walking frames/rolators.
Some of us do though. The world would be a better place if we all did!
But I don't need to have everyone tell me I'm bald. I know this. Tell me something nice.
Kid is not being mean, it's just unfiltered observation
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I.. would love this idea.
So... like autistics do (and wish others did)?
That's ideally what people would put in their dating profile.
Uhhhh you can? This is basically what I do. The key is to just not give a shit and accept that not everyone is gonna respond.
Ive basically done this with one or two discord friends. Met them through mutual friends though so there was some level of "trust tbat we're the same kind of weirdo" already there
Not sure about this. It gets dangerously close to "Now for an ice breaker, why don't we go around the room and tell each other a little not about ourselves."
Real 4-year-olds are not always as forthcoming as Katie. You're welcome to respond with solemn silence while holding the tattered shred of your 40-year-old blankie you carry in your pocket. Equally valid.
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Just add "but I like that" at the end with a wink and you're running baby
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