What tipped them off? Was it when Iran broke off all peace talks and said they would keep the straight closed? Gosh these wallstreet fellas are smart!
this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2026
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Translation: People who work on Wall Street are slow as hell.
Perpetual optimists as long as the guy in power has an (R) next to his name.
If this happened under Biden the market would have freaked the fuck out.
I mean it did freak out at first, but line must go up
If you want to speed them up, you've got to open the windows first.
What tipped them off? Everything Trump has ever done and said?
(Read as: destroyed and then lied about)
He absolutely can. Just admit defeat and walk away in shame. But his pride probably wouldn't allow that.
Nah Iran wouldnt just "reopen" the straight even if Trump did that.
It would reopen it and charge a toll. At this point, that might be preferable to 20% of the world’s oil market being cut off, but that result makes Trump look like a complete loser.
That's not really "open" though.
His cankles either.
Yeah no shit Sherlock.
Man, leopards getting seriously overweight lately…
Wall Street is a bit slow in the head it seems, but I guess they will get there if you give them enough time.
TIL I’m better at predicting the future than the average Wall Streeter. Maybe I should get into Wall Streeting.
Being successful on Wall Street isn't about being smart, it's about having connections and being willing to commit fraud.
eh, doesnt take smarts or insider knowledge to buy low sell high. if anything smarts hurts you in fintech industry...you second guess your plays too much
Finance people are so damn willfully clueless.
I'm assuming the Wall Street people assumed Trump's just doing this to manipulate the markets and make a bunch of money, but now it's starting to seem like MAYBE he's just stuck and completely fucked.
Play stupid games win stupid prizes
You mean the guy who triggered Iran to do the thing they've threatened to do for decades in order to disctract America from the Epstein Files scandal can't get that toothpaste back in the tube?
*won’t, not can’t
I feel like they’ve sabotaged it everytime it’s been close
Womp wah
Whaaaaaaaat?
These people are all cokeheads.