this post was submitted on 26 May 2026
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The best time for a major cardiovascular event was 30 years ago. The second best time is today. 👍
An aneurysm would also be good.
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A stroke. Leave him in a semi-vegetative state but keep his mind as aware as possible. I want him to live a long life after that, in the worst possible misery: that of being a prisoner of your own body. I want him aware when the world celebrates that he's become a bedridden monster that nobody wants near and everyone fights to keep away because he's not relevant anymore.
"Your ears you keep, so that every shriek of every child shall be yours to cherish—every babe that weeps in fear at your approach, every woman that cries 'Dear God, what is that thing?' will reverberate forever with your perfect ears."
This is delicious. What is this from?
~~Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, S2E12~~
Edit: I was wrong, it's the other one
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I wish locked-in syndrome for him
That leaves room for pity. Not optimal.
Fuck that.
Locked in with only a TV to keep him company with Kimmel and Colbert on a loop.
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God that would turn me on so much. Him in a vegetative state where he was still watch TV and see just how much the world celebrates his decline. Watching as people crowd the streets cheering, dancing, chanting and shouting in celebration and he just gets to lay there and watch. Even Fox News is broadcasting it, calling it a disgusting act by the left but he still has to lay there and watch it unfold.
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All he can do is lay there and watch tv. The kind nurse turns on MS.NOW so he can watch it all day. Every day.
Reruns of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert would be epic.
We could crowd fund a new show for him where he laughs at him with his guests, everyone talking about how much better Obama was as a president.
That's not enough. Make him unable to speak, unable to even move a finger to communicate, unable to blink. And then make him immortal, but let his body continue to decay. Let every nerve in his body signal the most exquisite pain possible. And let him never pass out. Let his exhaustion be impossibly immense, yet let him never have a single moment of rest or peace. I don't want him to go to Hell. I want Hell to come to him.
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"Look at me Hector!"
What about ALS? Hard to believe that I'd wish that nightmare of a disease on someone, yet here we are...
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Thing is he has a higher chance of dying immediately after the stroke than someone who's healthier than him. Or should I say, he has a lower chance of surviving and becoming said vegetable.
With that said, I hope whatever happens to him is made public to a humiliating degree, is something that slowly and painfully kills him so he has to live with agony that doesn't even come close to the agony he's inflicted on others, and that he is conscious enough to know he can't do a damn thing about it.
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I weigh 220 and I'm 5'9" and I'm not nearly as massive as that fucker.
Hes got to be 320 at best.
Yeah...... Him claiming to be 6'3 and 215lb is hilariously insecure. That would make him roughly 30 pounds heavier and an inch taller than Justin Trudeau.
I'm 6'1" and 250 lbs and in way better shape than him. It is physically impossible for someone with a body like him to weigh 215 and be 6'3", he's either lying about his height, his weight, or both (it's definitely both). I'd guess he's probably like 5'8" and 300 lbs.
He's still a pretty big dude compared to the average person. You can take a look at pictures of him next to Trudeau, and he only looks a couple inches shorter than him. I'd say he's prob around 6ft with some help from his lifted shoes, but he's definitely pushing 300lbs.
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He wears shoes that add 3 inches to his height. It’s why he’s alway hunched forward. (They’re basically concealed platform heels.)
Just saying…. He’s even shorter than we guess.
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I am 6’4” @ 190lbs, I’ve never believed for one fucking second that he was only 30lbs heavier and an inch shorter than I am.
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Only three weeks after his “unscheduled ‘dentist’ visit”.
In January, Trump told the Wall Street Journal that he'd tried using compression socks to help treat the issue [his cankles] but stopped because he "didn't like them."
Trump has made some unusual medical choices in the past. Most notable is his use of aspirin. Trump takes 325 milligrams of aspirin every day, according to the Daily Beast. That's four times the doctor-recommended dosage.
When asked why, Trump said it was because aspirin was “good for thinning out the blood, and I don’t want thick blood pouring through my heart."
"I'm so good at annual exams that they actually want me to do them more than once a year. They say I'm the best annual exam taker and they always learn something interesting when they do the tests with the things" - Trump probably
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Trump undergoes a series of medical treatments designed to cheat death for another 7 months.
First his chiropractors perform a slight spinal adjustment. Then a team of doctors administer eyedrops, painkillers and a vocal chord scraping. The whole ordeal leaves Trump twisted and disoriented.
TIL DT is Mr. Burns
It's an alien, kill it, kill it!
Stop, it's not an alien, it's DT
Aww, it's DT... KILL IT!! KILL IT!!
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why defak is chiropractic being included in a phrase about medical treatments?
This is a simpsons reference.
They thought there was an alien in the forest. Turns out it was Mr. Burns who did his medical treatments (quoted above) and he would be high as a kite wondering through the forest at night and the glow is from working at the nuclear plant for so long.
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Excited for 10,000 posts by online EMTs ready to announce how many more days Trump has left to live
Anything more than "tomorrow" is too long.
If I were a betting man, I'd say by Labor Day. If he lives to see the midterms, the election results might kill him.
Trump reduced the time you have to wait between annual exams by 600%.
I read the headline as "routine anal medical examination" at first.
Well, he's a giant ass, so you're not wrong
An extra stitch in the anous
"Testosterone levels this high are usually only seen amongst rapists," Dr Oz continued.
Shall we place bets on when he will no longer be in office, for any cause - illness, death, expulsion, whatever.
My prediction is gone at least by the end of March 2027, maybe Feb. I think in the case of expulsion (or forced 'resignation') --which requires the repubs to choose since dems don't have enough power, that would be the date they would wait for. After the midterms and swearing in of the new congress. It can't be earlier than that if they (Thiel, etc) want Vance to qualify for 2 more full terms after this partial one.
If forced out by health reasons it's a lot harder to predict. Usually with these types the sheer evil force is enough to keep the heart pumping longer than the average mortal, even if the brain withers away. But like everyone else here, I check the headlines with fingers crossed each morning.
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Lies and more lies
If they find something iffy what's actually going to happen though ? I assume it must be something like his heart etc that he would have an interest on maintaining. if it's his brain that's going, I doubt he would want to admit that and go back for further checks.
I’d bet they actually aren’t telling him everything that’s wrong. My MIL has vascular dementia and I’m fairly certain they don’t completely explain everything that’s amiss. My FIL knows but I don’t think she does.
I’d imagine it’s similar with Trump’s staff, handlers, family members, whoever is in control of such things.
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I have the best calendars
I originally read that as anal exam and I wanted to bleach my eyes at the thought
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