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Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
My highschool physics teacher said the Nazis recorded X-ray video of Holocaust victims knees as they walked. Because MRI machines and other medical imagers aren't large enough to walk around in, the films are still one of the best sources of how the bones actually move naturally under load in situ surrounded by the connective tissue.
The radiation dose required to expose regular film at 24 frames a second killed the subjects.
I really hope they don't ever make movies like that again.
unfortunately China took up the mantle on medical torture with the Uyghurs.
In 2021 my friend's roommate said you couldn't make a movie like Borat these days. I immediately pointed out they made a Borat movie the year before.
I didn't point this out, but he claimed to be 6'2" while being a few inches shorter than me, and I'm 5'11".
Cleopatra. There's no way anyone would release a 4 hour historical drama as a movie. It would be a TV series these days.
They made it twice. We're overdue for another one.
Some ones I’ve seen recently: Scary Movie. The Witches. Dressed to Kill. Cape Fear.
There is literally a new cape fear movie coming out, with Javier Bardem as Max.
Austin powers. It really didn't age well, even though it was fairly progressive at the time.
Battle of Britain.
All the old warbirds are in museums now
If you have a Nebula subscription, Lindsay Ellis has a fascinating video about Blazing Saddles and why it really couldn't be made today, but not for the reasons you'd think; it has more to do with the history of the Western genre and the state of race relations in the US than "political correctness." I wish she'd put it on Youtube.
So I guess that's my roundabout answer: any movie that "couldn't be made today" is probably because of larger social forces than just "too much swearing/violence/nudity/etc."
Pootie Tang.
Sah dah tay, my damie!
Sah Dah Tay!
Say, Sine Yo pity on the Runny Kine
EVERYthing made by https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buster_Keaton
We've got laws, now, against the insane shit they did on-set, back then..
Lives were too-cheap, back then..
_ /\ _
Blazing Saddles.
Probably the Blue Brothers, but for different reasons. I feel like most of the blues legends are gone.
A lot of the blues legends are gone and a large number of Americans would be upset that they hate Illinois Nazis.
American History X, easily. In fact, that movie had a troubled production during the time it came out, but it would be censored to hell and back were it made today.
The original Robocop as well because Hollywood is too scared of violence nowadays, fun fact, the original Robocop almost got an NC-17 (then X) rating for violence alone and had to be edited 13 times to get downgraded to a hard R* rating.
*Hard R in the movie rating sense, is when an R-rated movie truly earns that R rating through having a lot of violence, gore, swearing, explicit content, or a combination of those factors. It's when an R-rated movie is teetering on the edge of getting upgraded to NC-17, basically. This old AVPGalaxy post should go more into what the hard R rating entails. The original Robocop got downgraded to this from the NC-17 rating it almost got (X when that movie was in production) after 13 edits like I said.
American History X would be tough just because of all the picketing of the movie for being so mean to Nazis.
Jurassic Park, Terminator 2, TMNT ‘89, Lord of the Rings.
Whatever the JP franchise is now, it will never go back to full scale animatronics, and without Stan Winston’s magic, it’ll never be quite what the first (and a bit of the second) were.
Cameron himself can’t recreate the magic of T2 even if his films make billions. He never risks having to “nail this in one shot” stunts.
As for TMNT. Nobody gives a shit they’re suits, we could suspend our disbelief and watched mindblowing performances by great stuntmen in some of the most advanced animatronics ever. Michael Bay can’t even fathom how much better that is.
The Hobbit was plagued by a lot of problems, but I don’t know if even Jackson could pull off the practical effects with digital overlay magic that was the first trilogy if he tried.
That era of Hollywood, practical first, digital to enhance (sparingly) is gone it seems. It’s sad Hollywood has forgotten that that boundary pushing era was what made those films iconic. Rexy had weight, she literally tore a car apart. You can see the chaos of the semi landing in the canal. The turtles hit. The Riders of Théoden truly rode for ruin. Tell me you don’t get giddy when you know that scene is about to hit.
Project Hail Mary was practical first. Real sets, real puppet, with digital enhancements. There is a scene that was filmed with loads of LEDs on wires to cover the shot in blinking red lights. I think it pays off hugely and the film is better for it all.
At the moment I think it's an outlier and most films will continue to just film green screens and tennis balls but it might herald the return of practical, maybe even full-scale animatronics! I can only hope.
Tiptoes. Gary Oldman was on his knees the entire time. I can't believe this was even made in 2003.
The fuck? Howd they go and cast Oldman in the role as a little person when they had Peter Dinklage already in the film. Dinklage is a fantastic actor. And oldman playing the role on his knees seems akin to blackface.
Look up all the stunts Buster Keaton did, and shiver. Or The Little Rascals or Hal Roach’s Rascals, whatever they were called.
Or the 1968 version of Romeo and Juliet - while probably one of the best versions ever, nobody today would dare to think doing a movie like that today - it would be criminal.
That doesn't mean they couldn't do it today, it would just be a weurd cgi mess wuth marvel level cutaways
Well, the Rascals would be 100% cgi, not just because of the sometimes dangerous things the kids did, but also because they would not be allowed to be 12+ hours a day on set... at that age, they can only be on set for two hours a day IIRC, so filming this today with real actors would be horribly expensive.
And don't even think about topless bedscenes with a 13 or 14 year old actress...
Team America. From the minds of South Park's, Matt Stone and Trey Parker 😁.
I think y'all know why.
Famously, you couldn't make Blazing Saddles today because they already made that move in the 70s
Idiocracy..
I showed this to my 16 year old nephew and he was legit upset/offended and I had to turn it off.
He was shocked they could say 'those bad words' in a movie. I don't dare show him Pulp Fiction.
Sounds like he needs a cool uncle to counteract the excessive sheltering his parents are doing.
Scream.
The killer would try to call the girl in the first scene and she would just be like "Ew, who actually calls on the phone?" and hit cancel. Roll credits.
Alternatively the scariest movie the girl ever saw would be Five Nights at Freddie's.
The Blue Lagoon (1980)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blue_Lagoon_(1980_film)
and that's a good thing.
The General (1926)
https://youtube.com/watch?v=tgQ8VwW19iw&t=115s
The Blue Lagoon is the best answer. No one would touch this with a 10 foot pole anymore.
Ace Ventura. I love the shower scene, it's hilarious, but today it's unthinkable to make a scene like this.
Honestly, I think the shower scene isn't the problem. It's pretty much in character. But I never understood everyone puking at the end. Never made sense to me.
I always assumed that every one of them had made out or had sex with her at one point.
