When I went to Montreal, I'm not exaggerating when I say that every single service worker I interacted with opened with "Bonjour, hello!" You would only have to fuck that up once if you didn't realize what was happening there.
this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2026
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great censoring on the name, impossible to tell who posted this
When I went to France after taking French in high school I tried speaking French to various people and they usually responded to me in English. That's certainly one way to say "your French is shit."
When I went to France I remembered enough high school French to ask for directions, but didn't remember enough to understand the reply. Luckily everyone spoke English anyway.
French people are so bad at speaking english that those who can manage want to show it off at every opportunity.
But in Montréal, it's more a matter of an inferiority complex from french speakers. And the habit to be forced to speak english with those who don't want to learn french.
Bro I made so much effort to learn this foreign language, of course I am going to use it whenever I have the occasion!
I do this also with other language I know.
People that have lived in France for years and speak perfect French told me that when they try to order something in French the waiters just look at at them with contempt and respond in English. It's not you, it's them.
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I tried to buy cigarettes. "Winston, s'il vous plait," while pointing at them. Lady started screaming for her colleague, "anglais!" Then I had to ask for them in English.
No need to bother with French.
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I had a similar problem when I lived in Japan, but it manifested in sort of the opposite manner. My Japanese was shit, but my work (as an English teacher) required that I answer the phone using a long Japanese greeting.
Eventually, I could do that greeting in my sleep with very little accent. And I have a name that could be mistaken for a Japanese name.
Inevitably, I'd finish the greeting and they'd respond with a torrent of full speed Japanese that I couldn't understand at all.
I considered doing the greeting poorly, but instead, I just said "Hello" in English after finishing the greeting and people usually got the idea.
Mine was in my native language, not Japanese, but I also had a job that mandated a long greeting. I also had cause to repeat it sufficiently frequently that I could have done so in my sleep. In fact ...
Once I was at home, in bed, asleep. I had a dream that my work phone was ringing. Of course, I wasn't fully awake (or really at all) and my work phone was at work, not near my bed. In my half awake state, I picked up the nearest thing I could find - my personal cell phone - and recited the long spiel. Only after several minutes of slowly blinking myself awake did I realize my cell phone wasn't connected to anyone and, also, I wasn't at work.
The only character I had engaged was my dog, who was staring at me in apparent confusion. Probably that was just because I had gone from dead asleep to jerking upright grabbing my cell phone, but I like to think that in his head he was thinking I was a dumbass for thinking I was at work.
Sorry, off topic but your comment about the Japanese phone getting reminded me of when I worked at an English school too.
My coworker, who is 100% Japanese, was just off her game that day and instead of "お電話ありがとうございます〇〇です" she greeted a random caller with "おめでとうございます〇〇です" lol
It was really cute. She of course committed sudoku in shame soon after.
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I worked for a year in the entertainment department on Queen Mary 2. On one voyage there was one French family who were very pleasant. So I attempted to be a Good Employee greeted them at the door of the theatre one evening with a cheery "Bon soir!", as per my GCSE French.
The following seconds were exceptionally awkward, as I had no idea what they replied with.
I learned a lesson that day.
I went to Paris once, and despite everything I had heard my whole life, if you start off with a Bonjour and end with a Merci, in between, the locals are almost all perfectly happy to speak English with you.
I’m sure I say these things with a thick American accent so they all know not to continue too much further in French.
"I'd much rather stumble around in English than witness whatever the fuck you're about to do to my mother tongue" - the French
But yes, a simple "Parlez vous anglais?" puts most conversations firmly in friendly territory. It's entitlement that puts most people off.
Yeah most people are self conscious about their accent/vocabulary so if you roll in speaking English it kinda feels like you're going "hey I expect you to bend over backwards to try to speak my language while I'm visiting your country" which is of course even worse if they're working at the time. Opening with any attempt to speak French shows that you're willing to accommodate them and the person will immediately be more relaxed at the idea of exposing just how bad their English is.
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Try leading with "Hello-Bongjoor", they'll understand.
I'm not familiar with the "jig is up" saying. Someone mind explaining it?
It means something to the effect of "I've been caught in a lie and can't keep up the act anymore"
The meaning behind the idiom is that "jig" is an old term for a trick, so you're no longer fooling the person.
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Cat's out of the bag
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i’ve worked as a cashier in quebec, and i promise you if you don’t speak french, don’t pretend, you’ll only make things more awkward for everyone lol. personally, if someone speaks to me in french, even with a big accent, i reply in french, tho i know that not everyone does
ask if we speak english, more often than not (especially in montreal) the answer will be yes, and if not we’ll get someone who does. (at least that’s how it was where i worked, maybe other places who are less used to have english-speaking customers would react differently)
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I only know enough French to start bar fights in Montreal, which gets awkward because the folks involved are generally better at bar fights than I am.
Regardless, I'm convinced there is nothing in this world more satisfying than a hearty "TabarNAK" at just the right moment. Fuck's a great word, but there's just something about those extra two syllables and the emphasis at the end that fills me with joy.
I'm french and I fucking love the sacres. It is my personal opinion that my countrymen mock québécois and its accents because they're jealous of the funny expressions and the way they can seamlessly slip some English words in any sentence with an impeccable accent.
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ahn kwassan!
written french is a lot easier to understand than spoken french, we need IRL real time subtitles for these people...
Great fishing in Keebec.
I loves fishing in Kwee-bec!
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