Reminds me of the first time I worked in a newsroom in the early 2000s. When the repeated slamming wasn't enough, the whole phone would go flying across the office. I, unfortunately, had the desk by the wall, in the prime firing line. My reflexes became boss in those first 3 months.

"YOU'RE AN INANIMATE OBJECT!!!"

Answering on flip phones was equally boss. When you master that perfect wrist flip where you can just crack the hinge a little with your thumb and let the flip do the rest of the work.

So satisfying every time.

I use a desk phone every day in my office.

Yup! Most are office phones and don't make the most satisfying part. When you made the bell on the phone ring you slammed it so hard.

We have a "landline" (actually VOIP) at our house and I have a desk phone in my office that I use often. This is one of the reasons. It's also nice not having to run around the house trying to find my cell phone in emergencies, not to mention VOIP service is dirt cheap.

Have you tried something like this while you're out and about? https://www.dhgate.com/product/communications-bluetooth-for-laptops-and/946297016.html

Yeah to me it's weird that phones are flat slabs now. That whole concept would have looked stupid in the 80s or even the 90s.

I’m 30 but never got used to the feeling of modern smartphones against out ears.

I'm almost 5 decades into this weird mess and yeah, I still am not that comfortable with sliding a cold, smooth, oily, touch-screen with all kinds of sensitive buttons and screen options across my ear when having a phone call. I've always hated it compared to the comfort of an old corded-phone speaker that was pleasantly curved for privacy and had a solid, comfortable handle. You could throw that thing against the wall, drop it while you're talking, set it down for an hour and forget about it (for those kinds of calls.)

On the other hand, I almost never get phone calls anymore. People straight up stopped calling each other. I get maybe one a week at work, but even there most calls are scheduled Teams or Zoom calls. People hate talking to each other given the choice, everyone has withdrawn to a world of text messages and private discord servers.

Not saying things were better in the old days, but this is a major factor in our societal de-socialization crisis.

There are several reasons why people don't call each other nowadays. This is one.

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

"....so, anyway, as i was say--"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

"..."

Nah bro, they actually felt it. You probably never got slammed so you don't know, but the person on the other end would suddenly fly across the room like a truck hit them, that's why we saved the phone slam for when someone REALLY deserved it. Good times.

Or start screaming somewhere near your phone that you're suddenly in the market for a new house or changing your brand of pet food, and just sit back and waste the time of all the marketing and scam calls you get.

Nowadays, we see the answer to the question "What if we made the hinges plastic?" in almost everything we do, everywhere we go.

Like straight down? On what kind of surface?

I spiked the fuck out of an old Nokia in like 2093 against the carpeted floor in my office. Sadly I slightly cracked the corner of where the battery case met the phone. The phone still worked but the battery wouldn’t stay connected. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person on the internet who ever broke a Nokia.

I just imagine you having a slightly heated phone call with someone then as you say your goodbyes you hear a loud bang of their expensive iPhone being slammed followed by the shattering of a glass table and the phone screen then you barely make out the words

~bitch~

lmao. no, mostly gen x and millennials. boomers are stuck on Facebook and xitter.

You can tell because they post a screenshot style image with some random comment. The community it basically a dumping ground for anything they thought was funny. No one wants to spend a little extra time to make a meme.

I miss the memes on Reddit but I'm not good enough to make anything worth posting.

I've found that playing porn very loudly when marketers call is a good way to get added to the Do Not Call list very quickly.

There's a pizza place in the nearby city that has almost the same number as mine, there's just one number difference. For the last few years I've been answering numbers I don't know as the pizza place. When they ask for me I act frustrated and say,

"look I'll tell you what I tell all the other telemarketers, you bought a bad list and got the number for a pizza place. "my name" doesn't work here, and never has. Now do me a favor and drop this number, I'm getting sick of giving this speech 10 times a day".

If they haven't hung up by that point, which they usually have, I say have a good day then hang up. I've noticed my spam calls have significantly dropped off after starting this, maybe it's coincidence and they're dropping my number because it's not generating income, but just in case it is working I'm going to keep doing it.