this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2026
1230 points (97.4% liked)

196

7120 readers
2332 users here now

Community Rules

You must post before you leave

Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).

Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.

Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.

Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".

Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.

Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.

Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.

Avoid AI generated content.

Avoid misinformation.

Avoid incomprehensible posts.

No threats or personal attacks.

No spam.

Moderator Guidelines

Moderator Guidelines

  • Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
  • Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
  • When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
  • Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
  • Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
  • Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
  • Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
  • Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
  • Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
  • Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
  • Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
  • Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
  • First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
  • Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
  • No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
  • Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
  • Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

fyi: it's "drugs"

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Setiyeti93@lemmy.ca 59 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

It's so strange to me that the argument of she was drunk and / or on drugs so strange.

These are reasons that she could never consent. Therefore any sexual act with her would be assault

It feels so weird to me that they think this is some kind of "gotcha".

[–] deltapi@lemmy.world 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Does it make more sense if it's presented as

If a woman goes to a party, she won't be raped unless there's a rapist there.
This holds true even if she's on drugs and naked.

Because the drugs aren't the point

[–] glitchdx@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

That phrasing makes more sense, but has less shock value.

[–] Lithops@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago

Its the typical shaming. The attempt to blame the victim. Always so wrong but seems for a lot of people legit.

[–] Shayeta@feddit.org 7 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

The more interesting one is what if both are under the influence of alcohol/drugs?

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

It really depends on the situation. Two people of similar intoxication levels can consent. But at the same time when with an intoxicated person you need to be making certain they're moving forward with you and consenting.

At least that's my perspective as someone who will get involved with strangers while drinking at bars.

When someone's blacked out or unable to enthusiastically consent (ie advance the acts of their own volition without being pressured or otherwise coerced) then they fundamentally can't consent

[–] cosmos8188@leminal.space 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Two people of similar intoxication levels can consent.

The whole point is that intoxicated people can't consent - like at all.

[–] CannonFodder@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

So if two intoxicated people have sex, they're always raping each other?

[–] cosmos8188@leminal.space -4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

If only one person is intoxicated is it always rape?

The answer is yes, because intoxication is involved.

[–] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 0 points 3 weeks ago

I once raped my wife, then. She was drunk, came back home drunk and wanted to fuck me hard. I told her I didn't feel like it was right to have sex with her in such condition, but she just didn't want to hear about my decent comments and told me to get off my high horses and just fuck her. So I did. Should I be ashamed of myself? Because, I'm not, it's not like its something easy to forget, but in a good way.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Just to be safe, get even drunker than them.

[–] wuphysics87@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 weeks ago

Just because two people who are sober can consent doesn't mean two people who are intoxicated can

[–] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 weeks ago

I honestly would vouch for a similar figure to the designated driver. I'll call it the designated handler, some sort of a box staff of allies trying to keep you in the fight, but also checking if you are okay to continue.

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I think you're still responsible for the crimes you commit while drunk/high.

[–] fyzzlefry@retrolemmy.com 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I think the point is then: who is the victim?

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

It's hard for two unconscious people to have sex. One of them has to be conscious enough to be able to move. Even if they are drunk they are still responsible for having sex with unconscious person.

It may depend on jurisdiction but usually it's illegal to have sex with someone unable to consent. I think that if they are drunk but are still consenting (verbally or non-verbally) it's not considered rape.

[–] wuphysics87@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 weeks ago

It's victim blaming. He didn't do anything wrong. She was naked and drunk. She was asking for it.