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Champagne. It tastes of bitter, sour and fizz and because of its stupidly intense carbonation, drinking it needs to be done in tiny little wincing sips, lest it bubble up through your sinuses and come out of your nose.
I swear people only pretend to like champage because they believe it's the drink for 'classy' celebrations, so disliking champagne is, in their mind, a 'low class' and ungrateful thing to do.
I'll echo something others have said in reaction to other drinks, but it sounds like you've not had good champagne then.
What does 'good champagne' taste like to you?
I hesitate to even recommend it because I don't want it widely known but better than any champagne I've had is:
Raventos Blanc Blanc de Blancs Xarel-lo
It's what champagne should be IMO. The gentle fizz, the flavor is perfect, it's gentle and delicious.
There's a lot of bad champagnes because the name only represents it origin and a certain production process but it's not an indication of quality.
Apart from that there are teriibly sweet champagnes too but mostly people serve brut/dry versions that tend to be on the sour side. I've had champagne that just tasted like grapejuice.
let me introduce you to Prosecco or Lambrusco.
It’s only bitter if you get a dry type. Get a sweet champagne.
Eh, I've tried both. The bitterness I'm talking about comes through on the back of your tongue after you swallow a sip, just like with the dry stuff. I think it's the carbonation that causes it? Sweet champagne just masks the taste a bit at first, but after a few sips it's just as strong.