this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2026
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I'm really sorry everyone...this is all my own damn fault, I'm not denying that in the slightest.

spoilerI was planning to die today. But I guess I'm not even capable of doing that.
This is all because I'm such an overdramatic, pathetic loser, an excuse for a human being. After an appointment with a new psychiatrist where her first question was "What is your deadname?" and after she told me I "started HRT late", I just fell into a deeper spiral. Now there's uncertainty if I'll even be able to go to Thailand for SRS, which made me full on suicidal upon finding out, so I just kinda...broke.
And there's the constant regret of not starting sooner, constant self-deprecating and loathing from feeling like I'll never be a woman. Hating my face and body every single waking second.
I'm just...depressed and not doing well right now. And I'm making it everybody's problem.

I'm sorry, but I guess I'm sticking around. I'm not dead just yet. I'm making a new account and starting over. But...at least, maybe you'll believe me now that I'm not actually a good person?
I'm really sorry. I'm actually the worst. I know that.

Maybe I should have died. Maybe. But...instead I guess I'll bother you all some more, again, from zero.
I'm sorry for being such an unimaginable fuckup...

Sincerely,
a very depressed trans girl,
Miisha

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[–] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 0 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Y'all should be angry at me. You should hate me, at least as much as I hate myself. I'm taking up space in this community that other people need and deserve...god I'm pathetic

[–] kibblebits@quokk.au 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There’s unlimited space for you.

[–] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 0 points 1 month ago

Thanks. I feel like an intruder, but I guess I'm still here, so...

[–] TheOtterInside@piefed.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 month ago (2 children)

no.effin'.way i ever get angry at you. told you many others here and i, all of us really, love you.

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂 take some hugs, got an infinite amount for you.

you are a vulnerable sister who's been told horrendous things by someone who should know better and should not see any trans people ever again. heck ! she should be banned from being a psychatrist

[–] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Hi from new account!

You are officially French sweetheart now 🩷
Hope you're alright with that tag/title...

[–] DaPorkchop_@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

new account? we doing tags now? you, my dear, cannot escape from the tag i gave you last month!

[–] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ngl, I was looking forward to getting back my tag 😂. "Housegirlfriend" is just such a cute, wholesome term.
Thank you so much 💜


You are officially Mistress of eyeliner now! Hope that's okay...
You did an amazing job with that eyeliner post tho. And your face is super pretty! ❤️

[–] DaPorkchop_@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

aww, thanks :3
(both the tag and the compliment!)

[–] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 month ago

No problem dear 💜

[–] TheOtterInside@piefed.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

how lovely of you 😊 I am totally fine with it

[–] TheOtterInside@piefed.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Loutreee <3
Thank you dear 💜

[–] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Loutre, tysm 😭
Yeah she was pretty bad. Still gives me trazodone and escitalopram tho and I wanna try those to see if they help. She's my med supply for now...

Thank you so much ♥️

[–] TheOtterInside@piefed.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm there and I ain't going anywhere so … feel free to message whenever you need to

[–] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Tysm 😭

About the user tag...I see you have someone (someone very nice), so if it's too much, just let me know and I'll get rid of it ❤️. It's just a silly little thing

[–] TheOtterInside@piefed.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

don't worry about the tag, it feels perfect as is :3

yup she's my special someone ^^ I love her so much for being there for me and I do my best being there for her 🩷

[–] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's really wholesome! Super happy for you two. Best of luck and much happiness, lovelies ❤️

[–] TheOtterInside@piefed.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

thank youuu 🩷

(btw i see she called you sis, so your are our sister :3)

[–] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Omggg, tysm! 😭
I feel blessed. Thank you so much, you two! 💜

[–] TheOtterInside@piefed.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

love you, sis 💜