Transfem

Does anyone know where I'm can find cute bra/bralette and pantie sets? I really want cute comfy matching sets and the only place I've found is warriorsandscholars.com and they have like no stock.

Any help is appreciated!

Thanks

♡♡♡Nissa♡♡♡

I haven't noticed much so far but today I had some ketchup for the first time in a while and it tasted amazing, like just normal ketchup was so good I could eat it by itself. I really hope my tastes on more things change. I've heard some people start liking coffee. I hope I get that because I always loved the smell but hated the taste.

Rocking a very Avril look today, love this skirt! I wasn't sure what footwear I could girlmode in with out spending a ton until I remembered I have Doc Martin's from when I was 15 and was trying to pull off a punk rock look.

Got some new fat laces for them, my favorite color combo purple and white on one and trans pride on the other. Just need to cut them to length, got them long since I had no idea how long they needed with the layering. Have multiple pairs of each so I can switch to anyone color or combo.

Hope all you lovely ladies are having a splendid day!

♡♡♡Nissa♡♡♡

Felt cute last night in my new matching skirt and socks!

♡♡♡Nissa♡♡♡

Hi, I'm Azura! I am so happy I have found my way to this community.

Self Realization

This year I've been checking out lemmy. Just lurking around, being mostly drawn to !transmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone and !196@lemmy.blahaj.zone because reading your posts and comments gave me this weird, funny, wholesome warmth that I just couldn't explain. "Like joy, but it hits differently".

relevant memes (spoiler)

One comment lead me to look up the "egg prime directive". 2nd search result was an article title Am I Trans, which answers the question, but - as the title implies - also goes beyond. And... oh girl, was that an emotional roller coaster! It's so suspiciously on point, I still need to figure out if the author (Cassie LaBelle) is secretly me from the future.

Early on in adolescence I started "accepting" that I wasn't afab and learned to suppress my feelings, to keep my fantasies in my dreams. I've actually asked myself several times throughout my life if I should consider a "transsexual transition", but my archaic understanding of the concepts made the whole thing appear scarier than it is. "What's to gain if I don't even hate myself"?

Gladly, the Am I Trans article cleared up a lot of my misunderstandings and fears. And the posts on lemmy.blahaj.zone gave me so much joy and hope! I knew that denying it any longer was hopeless. Not just becoming a woman, but the thought of having always been one feels oddly right to me. So, on my favorite day of the year, I hit that turn-me-into-a-girl.com button and transformed my lack of self hate into actual self love. Now here I am! As of writing: ✨ still closeted ✨

But I'm working on a coming out. I am certain that my friends, coworkers and close family are all supportive, which is a great privilege.

About me

I'm about 30-ish, a programmer and political activist. I boycott eating animals. I live in a small city in Germany. I guess I can start considering myself a mom? No clue how long one has to wait for HRT here, but maybe my daughter and I will both hit puberty in parallel 😅

Shout out to @TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone and @QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works, your posts were the stars that guided me through the night🥚.

Love, Azura

Wait, almost forgot to add a photo. It hints at how I came up with the name "Azura".

photo of me (spoiler)

I was gonna write about this yesterday evening, but I did a lot of biking around after the appointment and when I got home I basically collapsed on my couch immediately, but anyway

for me the only planned parenthood was outside of town in a kinda sketchy area, but once I got inside the staff were super respectful and even the security guard was warm and told me not to drink the waiting room water because it wasn't filtered 😅

the doctor there asked some basic questions about how I was feeling and what I wanted from HRT, but I honestly think I started scaring her... describing my plethora of dysphoria symptoms and my spawnpoint's lack of receptiveness like I was talking about the weather but I don't get super emotional in public... sorry lady, I promise I'll get a therapist soon!! She also gave me resources for that and a support group that meets """nearby""" weekly but still a little far, not sure if I'll be able to go often if at all but I'll see if I can check it out when I have the chance

my bloodwork checked out, and prescriptions for injections were sent to my pharmacy the same day!! I'll have to pick them up when they're stocked later but other than that I feel good... I just got a great thing done for myself... :3

other than that I will literally smooch the person who made public transit a thing on the cheek 300 TIMES OVER

without this fucker none of this would be possible, I got there and back home so quickly without a STUPID CAR or needing help from anybody else

Hii all! As some parts of the world are moving towards summer, here in Sydney we're moving towards Winter, and it is definitely starting to cool down a bit.

Trying to blend in here with this outfit, nothing attention grabbing, just trying to be comfortable and happy 😊

Hope you are all having a lovely day 💕

Realized something awesome this morning. After girlmoding off and on all weekend, the wife and I took a mental health day yesterday. She needed some boy mode time with me to help sort through our feelings. We were also hella wrecked from all the easter socializing.

Anywho, as I've said before I work in the trades around mostly straight right-wing men. You know the funniest thing about straight right-wing men? They are the gayest mother fuckers on the planet. I squeezed past a guy in the shit shack durring morning huddle and he said 'oh so you don't want to cuddle with me?' Which I replied ' No, I just want to hold you from behind' 'okay, you can be the big spoon'

Later on the guys were signing up for softball and were pressing me to join. I'm really not a sports girl, so I told them I'd just be their cheerleader. 'I already have a cheerleader, it's my wife' and I said 'that's okay, you can have two. We'll even get matching outfits!'

They laugh cuz it's a joke and I'm just sitting there picturing myself in a cute uniform with pig tails and pom-poms.

I may have to boy mode on the outside, but no one can stop me girl moding on the inside.

Stay tuned for more thoughts and (hopefully soon) pictures from me! Have a wonderful day ladies! Love you!

♡♡♡Nissa♡♡♡

Edit:Spell check

A guy from straight different trade just came up to me and said 'Hey Beautiful, how we doing'. Inside I'm grinning ear to ear!

Hello all my night owls 😊

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/40945582

Was feeling myself a little and building more confidence so heres another outfit! Its gonna take awhile to get through all my outfits, especially dresses (i have more dresses than my wife)

Welcome to all the new peeps. Existing peeps im glad youre still around here 😊

Its been hot here!! Hows the weather been for everyone?

Stay safe and stay awesome!

scheduled my HRT consult with planned parenthood!! it's a little out if the way but the bus will get me there

as far as ~~mom~~ spawnpoint is concerned I'm hanging out with friends.

a little nervous but hopefully all goes well!! :3

Bonus photo because I liked my hair :3

Hii everyone!! I made a post about 3 months ago when I first joined on piefed.world. I've since been wanting to migrate over to blahaj.zone but been putting it off due to not being able to migrate my posts and comments. So anyway, here I am now on a new account and will stick with this one moving forward.

I'm Natalie, a 34yr old IT Consultant from Sydney Australia. If it wasn't obvious by my pic, I'm male to female presenting, and not currently on HRT. I'm into Linuxy things (cliche I know), and Linux gaming a bit too, mainly CS2 and WoW. Also do a bit of gaming on my Switch, 2D and HD-2D JRPGs are my go to's.

Hope you had/are having a lovely long weekend if you are getting one! Otherwise a lovely weekend ☺️

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/40877932

Its been soooooo nice lately here! I love it, this is the first summer ive ever been excited for honestly. I cant wait to see all the amazing fits everyone here has. Im hoping to make it a season of firsts for me. This picture, for example, is the first time in daylight public that i wore a dress with no way to hide or cover. Also first time you can see my face! It was scary but it felt so right afterwards. I got one nasty comment from some miserable dbag that im trying to keep out of my head.

Anyways im finishing this up because im trying to post before anxiety convinces me no to. Hope everyones day is going well!

OOTD for a date with my fiancée and a night out with friends.

Don’t judge the repeated pants… laundry hasn’t happened yet 😅😬

Thank you all for the support yesterday and the day before! All the love, the understanding, the support, the encouragement, and most of all the stories reeeeeaaaaallllyyyy helped me. I spent a good chunk of my day yesterday playing starfield and looking at trans/egg memes, and I think yall maybe right. I still am not sure who I am but I can say with a bit more confidence

Hi, I'm Nissa!

I talked with my wife last night, told her I thought I was trans and let her read my post and all of your comments. I sat there scared and crying while she read. She gave me a bit hug and told me she loved me no matter what. She said even if it turns out she married a woman, she will stay by my side and support me with anything and everything thing my future might hold. I showed her a brallete and panties set I thought was really cute and she bought it for me.

Right now the only thing I know for sure my future holds is talking to my therapist and loesing 30lbs, but for my health not because I'm trans.

When I woke up this morning my first clear headed though was "ugh I don't want to get up". My second clear headed thought was "I'm Nissa, and thats okay." and to thank you for being here, listening to me, and helping me. It really means the world to me.

I occasionally whisper in my head, 'I'm Nissa, and that's okay' and it makes me smile. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart, today is a bright new day and I have a bright future ahead of me!

• Love Nissa

Hey everyone, I'm new to all of this and I'm still trying to figure things out. Maybe a year or so ago my egg cracked and I've been trying to figure out what to do about it. I've got a therapist in talking to and she's great. My wife has been struggling a bit with a lot of the stuff I'm going through but is trying to be supportive. I also want to take her comfort into account with anything I do.

My therapist talked about maybe making a list of clothes that might lean more to either extreme end of the gender spectrum and maybe talking to my wife about how comfortable she is with me trying those things, but I don't really even know where to start on that list. I feel like I have no idea what kinda stuff to wear. Do any of you have any suggestions?

I bought it a couple of weeks ago, and I wore it today for the first time to visit the in-laws

Ya girl is back again with another lifedump :3

On the good news from this week, I've found a new primary doctor nearby! Even though I totally don't look the part, the staff used my preferred name and the doctor started out the visit confirming my name and pronouns. I felt totally comfortable and respected by what were essentially strangers to me to start and it gave me some sort of hope... I want to be addressed like me in the future with anyone new I meet. We discussed things like my dysphoria and my own plans to get started on HRT. At no point did he undermine my feelings or try and push back (I'm healthy all else considered), and he even gave me tips on looking for a therapist that has experience with trans people, since it can be hard to find one, much less one that is actually helpful. I'll be sticking with this doctor and location unless something weird happens.

After my appointment was done my friend called me and while we were talking he complimented my voice!! I've been testing it when I'm out and about but especially with my closer friends because I know they'll provide feedback. In all honesty I don't think I've gotten super far with it, but I'll continue working on it in short bursts whenever I can :3 All of the positive stuff has been affirming to me every step of the way and helped my imposter syndrome quiet down.

But what goes up must come down...

Following from my last post, I sorted out a lot of things with my mom. We're on good terms again, but not in the way you'd hope. After her very averse reaction to my coming out to her, we talked more. She gave a lot of selfish reasons for why I shouldn't be the way I am, quoted her God, and continues to send me old pictures of myself and talk about the man she needs in the house for now and later when she gets older. She even had audacity to reiterate her hope of me finding a (girl) partner and marriage later in life as if those were still a possibility, completely undermining my negative feelings on romance and relationships. She repeats that "I'm too young to know what I want", that this will pass, and that I just need to find the right girl to date. I'm honestly glad she's told me how she truly feels about "me" and what that fantasy version of my happiness looks like in her head, because we'd never talked about it before now. I know now that she doesn't want me to be myself, she wants me to have success in her very specific idealized way where she can hold "me" up as a trophy to herself and others.

Honestly, in those moments I lost all my endearment towards her. I never thought I'd ever feel this way about my mom. I don't feel sad about it, but it's crazy that any true relationship with her is just... done in my head. From that moment on, I knew that being around her would simply be a game of survival and nothing more. So I started by playing the game.

I told her that everything would be ok and that "I'm honestly quite over it." I told her that we didn't need to worry about this anymore and that our lives would continue onward. To end it off, I told her that I made a promise to myself to stop lying and avoiding her questions and concerns, and that I would continue with that promise moving forward. Nothing like a bit of irony to soften the mood... but nonetheless she was satisfied. From now on I’ll continue to draw out my life with as little of her as possible, without feeling any guilt for it.

I've never told her that my friends already know and call me by my real name. She doesn't know about my clothes. She doesn't know what I've discussed with my doctor or why I'm really searching for a psychiatrist (besides my potential ADHD). She doesn't know that before I told her I'd already taken a look at so many resources linked from this community and you all (❤️❤️) that helped me realize that what I feel is real, that following her advice will make me suffer, and has helped me plan out my transition. Best of all, I have no obligation and vow never to tell her the truth until it's plainly obvious and she can't stop me. She had one shot to support the real me and it's blown.

In the short term, I’ll need to continue “playing the game”, keep up appearances at home no matter the cost, lie whenever I need to make things work and take advantage of the privilege of family I took for granted, because I know now that I'm on borrowed time. I’ll have to keep my friends who support me the closest because at this point they are the only ones I can trust to keep me sane in my day-to-day. I’ll need to keep any clothes, accessories, tools or medication I get related to transition hidden, and there’s no room for error. I'll need a more consistent job to save more money for later. I need to head off to college and will most definitely find a place I can stay/dorm because I need space to grow.

In the long term, I'll need to find a place for myself, and I'll need to get full control of everything I don't already, slowly, like my phone plan, my homelab, health insurance, etc... not trying to place deadlines or make any specific plans because so many things can change and progress isn't linear, but I need to be quicker about it than most.

It feels daunting but at least I can see a future for myself, my true self. In a fucked up way I'm again glad I know that my mom doesn't want the best for me. It's helping motivate me towards becoming independent, which in itself is a good thing but now that it's required... gotta get to it!

what stopping me - idk only p a r e n t s

im tired of boymoding

school - next year i will go to home education so no problem

society - idk im seems pass now especially with long hair and baaaaaangs

i remember prev year i switched to another class to end 9 classes of school because of bullying, new classmates was cute pretty femme(even boys) weird and im come out to some of them AND THEY ACCEPTED me, this was so comfy to go school but mom was against to going school because of that SUPPORTIVE classmates...... but now in mine class are fucking terrible now and im not going to school THEY ARE toxic im not even come out but they calling me "опущенный" (prison slang for gay bottom men), "оно"(some like "they" in english but not multiple "oни"), and strictly use insult variations of dead name eg deadnamesik, usually they thread me like 3rd sort but opposite with ugly toxic masculine boy classmates, some try to press sensitive information from me

what my goal - just expression, wear that i want, look that i want, name change(but cant change gender marker)

it will be easy - i have no friends etc, most ppl dont know me, the shit from school definitly go away from this city because it small(140k population) and there no education options

i even can change name right now but im minor and need parent approval of BOTH parents (i didnt live with dad and he doesnt know anything) so problematic and plus school will see change

my parents accept transition & name change after 18 BUT NOT NOW, and even sometimes i wear neutral clothes from women section and THEY SO MUCH BETTER and clotches from men section I CANT WEAR THEM my hips are too big, i tried jacket from men section oh fuck it so tight in hip bone BONEEEE and too loose in shoulders IM SUCCESSFULLY MALEFAILING

so i think i should slowly transitioning

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/40725810

it can be specific to body features common with being trans or just general photography technique in general, no matter how basic. example photos are ok, but we do not demand them. just thinking this would be a helpful thread to have !!

a tip of ours (for those femme-leaning at least):

having the camera from a more top-down perspective seems to make the jawline look a little nicer. this is true of most others in that they look skinnier, but it especially seems to bring out the femme look in our experience.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/40724826

Hows everyones day today? Been pretty busy but still have time for a cute dress! I need to work on selfies my god, this is 50 pictures later and is just "good enough i guess" I NEEEED a mirror with lights ughhghh