Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
This is useless advice people love to parrot. The reality is people go to hobbies to do hobbies, not to find partners. You'll be the creep in the corner and o ly be disappointed aging.
It is true that it is easier to meet partners at these activities than, like, sitting on your couch scrolling through TikTok on your phone.
But that's because the people who are into meeting up to do things want to do the things themselves. It's very easy to see through the people who are interested in the thing only as a stepping stone towards something else, versus the people who are actually there to enjoy the thing.
If you can't show up to a meetup and have a great time despite there not being any available/single people you find attractive, you're gonna be the kind of dud that isn't attractive even when a potential partner shows up.
People should pursue hobbies and interests. It is fulfilling in itself, and makes you more attractive to others and puts you in contact with more people to have more opportunities to meet partners. But you gotta be the type of person to want to do it anyway, even if there is zero prospect of meeting a partner.
It also ignores the gender imbalance of a lot of hobbies. You know how many women I've met at the RC field? Two. The wives of two pilots who just come to hang out and enjoy the weather lol
I mean the reality is that the best way to find a relationship is to aim for the ground and miss
As in aim for just making friends, and improving your own mental health, and you're own social life, and accidentally getting a relationship by just finding people who you like hanging out with that like you as well.
Did you read anything beyond the first sentence?
It looks like not