Shitty Food Porn

Brown pizza. Brown food. Look, idk if this belongs here, should I crosspost? Is it just spammy when I do that? Anyway. I'm cleaning my stove so I can get it dirty again.

I continue to not have normal things like cheese or sausage. I do have ground beef. I had some leftover shredded onion and a red bell pepper from when I made this, browned em with the meat (!) then made a brown sauce (!!) and added some minced garlic with oat milk, a fuckton of seasoning including salt, cumin, buncha pepper powders, garlic onion, zatar. maybe mustard powder? paprika? a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar? i actually made this a while ago now, sry im guessing. thickened it with like 1/4 cup of flour and a spoonful of arrowroot powder, but corn starch would work.

piizza dough. ssauce. it looks awful but holy FUCK it was good.

you can't tell me it doesn't look like i yarfed into my pan and then tossed that in the oven. im sorry. im sorry. these are things you only notice in the pictures afterward because everything was so fragrant and delicious in the moment. sorry.

yes... yeeesss... the pizza sizzles...

Arbys Beef & Cheddar circa 2020

My wife was craving nachos. Yes, she used the microwave for this abomination. No she's not pregnant. Metadata says it was like 7:30pm.

I thought if I just got more drinky it wouldn't be so bad. But I'm not responsible for most of all that's been eaten this far. Tastes like paint, like you got abandoned in an industrial wasteland paint-drenched village and the paint chips are the most delicious confection

Before you get too far, here is the finished product.

I call it Creature of the Night.

I have a bunch of photos of it like a proud father.

No, I did not make this mess. Just thought it was funny a jar of sauce and box of spaghetti had both fallen.

I also burned my tongue trying to check if the potatoes are done

Got up at 3 this morning for Reasons and after taking care of some other chores I decided I wanted pancakes. Unfortunately I have no milk, no butter, no eggs, no maple syrup, and going to the store sounded like a herculean effort, so I made do with water, olive oil, a flax meal egg (~1 tbsp ground flax seeds, soaked in water for at least 5 mins) and an improvised strawberry jam thing.

Tried to do it from memory and eyeballed all the measurements. Dry ingredients are just flour, salt, baking soda, sugar, and since I used water instead of milk I covered it up by adding some other flavors with a couple drops of molasses and vanilla extract. Mix it all, slowly add water until the consistency is right, and voila! Also, fried the pancakes in olive oil just because I've got a lot of it. No ragrets. Truth is, you fry something in oil, it has a pretty good chance of coming out tasty.

Didn't remember I needed a topping until I was in the middle of doling out the first round of pancakes, so I threw some frozen strawberries into a tiny pan and let them simmer, mashing with a fork as they defrosted. Originally I was just gonna let that go until it thickened but the sugars started to caramelize and darken, so I panicked, killed the heat, added a couple teaspoons of arrowroot powder (basically corn starch) and stirred that thoroughly in between the last few sets of pancakes.

Despite all that, I'm still not 100% if this is the right sub for these; they came out super tasty. But between the gross brownish strawberry goop and my stove badly needing a cleaning... well. I do have eyes. Definitely doesn't belong in foodporn and I felt gross about putting it in a regular food sub.

Also, didn't properly preheat my cast iron, so the first set of pancakes came out looking kinda funky.

Swirling mtn dew Ah yes, an excellent vintage.

Garfield would be disappointed

3 eggs with veggie sausage, black beans, green onions, kale and fish sauce topped with salt & black pepper.

Absolutely delicious although the black bean juice seems to be giving my family psychic damage!

It looked and tasted like vomit though :/

It was supposed to be beef kafta but I think I screwed up the proportionals somewhere and I did not cook it properly :/

Recycled content, not OC