Shitty Million Dollar Ideas

Everyone had this broblem once: you've used something, now it's broken.

Or: You've killed someone and now they're dead.

Or: Youve bought something wrapped in plastic now you have useless plastic scraps.

Introducing the new solution: Garbage collection!

We just need investment, then we will begin to collect all of the waste of all humans, then we will store it, for free! And once it is proven to work for, maybe a week, we will blitzscale through *north america, europe, africa and asia!

We will collect all garbage, drive it to cheap land near the amazon, qnd store it there, protecting the forest from deforestation in the meanthyme! When we have scaled enough and people have stopped doing with their waste what they previously would have, we can introduce a new concept: tourism on trash mountain!

This tourism will be our long-term plan to profitability, we just need xxxTrillion $¥¢£ (DollarYenCentPound).

(Edit: the following has been changed: the americas --> North america, South america Is the Dump, not a place we collect garbage from, that would be unreasonable.

What stayed the same: the terrible spelling of blitz-scaling and other things.)

We replace some characters with a common character, so we don't have as many of them. Basically: merging.

I recomnend: a&e, o&u, y&i for "vowels" r&l, n&m, b&d, f&s, w&t, p&c for consonants.

This will help streamlining the english language.

Example text, where letter pairs are merged into the first of the two: (The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog) Wha qoypk brown fox junpf ovar wha razy bog.

(Supercalifragilisticexpiallygocious) Foparcaryfragyryfwypaxpyarrygopioof

(Much better) Noch bawwar

No more boring conversations with outsiders that don't get that $latestshitcoin is going to go to the moon, no more sitting in mommy's wasteland. Our tech stack features a powerful face detection technology, state-of-the-art voice synthesis and stuff to make you appear way better, than you are.

It's easy to Use HyperReality VR™: Just go outside, and whenever you see someone cool, just point the camera at them, put on your headphones and talk with them about anything you want! This service is only for people who have something to say, that's why we place a price tag of 28$/month or 130$ yearly!

Invest now and be part of the Antisocial Social Revolution today!

Can't handle a phone call? This service will take that phone call and turn it into a text instead! Using a combination of AI and needlessly outgoing GenZs, we will be the voice interface for your call and direct the call to you as a series of live texts, where you can respond with texts and/or emojis! Stay comfortable in your crippling social anxiety but get shit done! Pay-per-use and subscription plans available, because everyone loves subscriptions, especially when AI is involved! Ground floor, don't miss this rocket ship!!

cross-posted from: https://rss.ponder.cat/post/187867

From Phys.org - latest science and technology news stories via this RSS feed

cross-posted from: https://infosec.pub/post/28440354

Wall Street Journal: Government officials and experts say there have been dozens of recorded crypto-related abductions globally over the past year; France saw five in recent months  —  As bitcoin soars, investors and executives are taking their swollen digital wallets offline for safety.  Criminals are coming after them, violently.

Idk, it would be nice to wonder if goodwill has a shelf for my pantry and just be able to check the most recent picture of the furniture area and see if anything might be there I could use

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/29192937

How is that even possible???

If he wanted to, couldn't spez just buy it, and make it serve as a redirect to reddit? I don't understand how SOMEONE hasn't bought/used this domain for fediverse purposes.

For example:

La Fiesta (Thai)

Mamma Mia's (ramen and poke bowls)

Golden Dragon (BBQ pit)

Kyoto Express (hand-tossed pizzas)

Café Blanc (shitty Subway knockoff)

Wondering if this is what the Cows Creamery founders were thinking

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ca/post/42901821

Archive/mirror: https://archive.ph/WwEEI

cross-posted from: https://programming.dev/post/29115507

On February 11, 2025, Blue Shield discovered that, between April 2021 and January 2024, Google Analytics was configured in a way that allowed certain member data to be shared with Google’s advertising product, Google Ads, that likely included protected health information. Google may have used this data to conduct focused ad campaigns back to those individual members.

Blue Shield severed the connection between Google Analytics and Google Ads on its websites in January 2024.

What information was involved

• Insurance plan name, type and group number;
• city;
• zip code;
• gender;
• family size;
• Blue Shield assigned identifiers for members’ online accounts;
• medical claim service date and service provider, patient name, and patient financial responsibility;
• “Find a Doctor” search criteria and results (location, plan name and type, provider name and type).

cross-posted from: https://lemmynsfw.com/post/24938532

Cum will win

cross-posted from: https://lemmit.online/post/5689988

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/funny by /u/balcaidee on 2025-04-19 13:27:46+00:00.

I want to keep my night vision as well as a clean bathroom.