dipshit

Despite its challenges lemm.ee will forever hold a special place inside my heart. When I signed up to lemm.ee I was younger, more aggressive. Less mature. I did many things to hurt people, I didn't realize that it was because I myself was hurting inside, it took me far longer to realize that. And even though it was communities on lemmy.blahaj.zone who helped me find myself. I still feel that I owe some of it to this instance who gave me a home here when no one else would've. Thank you to everyone here who tolerated the rude and aggressive young man I used to be, so I could finally come out as the woman I always was, so I could realize the pain I always had but never knew I had. And for that I want to say thanks to lemm.ee. lemm.ee wasn't just a server, it was a community. I hope I can have new and joyful experiences on lemmy.blahaj.zone, but no place will feel more like home to me than this place. Farewell lemm.ee. You will be missed.

Earlier this week I went to see my therapist like I usually do and today I told her that I'd like to start HRT sooner rather than later, I know that people sometimes wait months if not years before starting but I'm not okay with waiting that long. Unfortunately she said that she wasn't sure it would be a good idea and that I should wait longer to be sure. I told her I wasn't waiting and that if she didn't write the note for me I'm going the DIY route, and she told me that that would be a very bad idea since she believes I would regret it due to my unwillingness to "fully girlmode" (which just means she thinks me wearing makeup and having long hair alone isn't enough) and the fact that I enjoy many manly things like bodybuilding. I for some reason mentioned that I could stop after I got the permanent changes I wanted and she responded that if I'm already considering detransitioning it's not a good idea. What the fuck? How the fuck is stopping HRT later detransitioning? That made me so pissed off that I told her to fuck off and I just left early.

I took the advice of someone and decided to go to planned parenthood and just like that I have officially begun my journey. Kinda wish I'd done this sooner, I could've been 3 months along by now if I hadn't tried to go through my therapist like a dumbass. Shame though, I did like her, she seemed nice for a long time but I don't think I can continue to see her anymore if she thinks after all I've told her that I'm in any way at risk of "de-transitioning".

Moral of the story kids, do DIY. It's better to ask for forgiveness than wait for permission. Also be really careful how you choose your therapists, they might seem to understand you but they can screw you over in the last second.

(I'm a transfem tomboy btw)

(I'm a transfem tomboy btw)

(I've always wanted to be a tomboy)

(I've always wanted to be a tomboy)

Do you think it's purely hateful or do you think it has some merit in certain contexts?

Personally I think it is a transphobic and dehumanizing term that objectifies and sexualizes trans women based on our anatomy, that should never be used in any context, but I'd love to hear what other people think.