bubbalu

I bought and am gradually fixing up a large dilapidated house in my city to use as emergency housing for trans people. I can afford all fixed costs (mortgage, property tax, insurance utilities) by myself. In March, a distant connection of a comrade moved in. Our agreement was that they contribute 10% of their income (~15% of the fixed costs of the house) and contribute as they are able to our collective emergency housing project. I work somewhat more than full-time and they work itinerantly as a housesitter and selling art at craft markets.

Since then, I have found out that my roommate comes from a rich family able to support her in a city across the state, has a masters degree, and has no debt. For instance, their family paid for them to fly and stay out of country on a two week trip. They are also somewhat more able than me. Another comrade is planning to move in with us and is taking the other currently-available bedroom meaning we cannot provide emergency housing in the medium term while I make the other rooms habitable.

My frustration has reached a breaking point when 1) they sent a passive-aggressive message about a few things our other comrade left in the entrance as they are moving in slowly, and 2) they shirked being available to receive an appliance delivery with 2 weeks' notice so we can have a working kitchen.

W/r/t to domestic labor I feel we are at a 30:70 split with my roommate doing more, and that the general level of cleanliness is below what they would like. 90% of our eating and all of our laundry are separately done.

The origin of my feeling comes from my envy at the fact that they have to work very little, and that I significantly subsidize their ability to do so---their contribution is about 20-30% what a room in a rental would cost. At the same time, I recognize the significant power imbalance in our relationship.

My principle goal is finding parity in our contribution that acknowledges our power imbalance. Additionally, our 3rd comrade who is moving in is in a significantly more precarious structural position and is offering significantly more money and labor investment in our housing project.

How can I recognize and communicate my frustration fairly?

the only good thing he ever did for me.

I love the very lyrical, sweet, and melancholy guitar. It feels inspired and not overly considered. Reminds me of a rawer version of 'classical gas' almost.

Be the change. Cook some beanis today. If we can gas up an auditorium, we can gas up a city. If we gas up a city we can gas up the tri-county area. Get those brappers rippin'! Cook some beans!

[Alt text: soldiers carry a coffin draped in an Israeli flag. A caption reads: "War Trauma Drives Israeli Troops to Death". It doesn't say by who, either.]

From this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v-FpFsEiGI

cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/5550838

For example, this week I spent 6 hours helping a friend fix their roof & 0 fixing the leak in my roof. Most of the meals that I cooked were when I had company or going to a potluck. It takes me until the umpteenth 'let me just squish it down' and the flies start buzzing to take the trash out....

...It feels like if I were a stranger, I would take better care of myself than I do, if that makes sense?

In general, I feel like I am a very values- and care-driven person. Like what feels meaningful is taking care of my community and working towards the world I want to live in. I have a good reputation in my community & activist circles for consistent work and following through on what I commit to do....

...none of that seems to apply to myself! My dishes sit in the sink for days, and I usually only bathe in preparation for public events.

This will not do! How do I treat myself like I treat others? Ahhhh!

I moved into a rundown house and am gradually fixing it up to house people. Making it accessible is a priority and I am getting ready to start the kitchen. I would like to know what features and placements wheelchair users would like in a kitchen.

In particular, shelf and cabinet placement, and oven placement. I know every work area needs to have leg room beneath it, but it's harder to find design guidelines for other aspects.

Dear comrades, recently I have been stuck in interpersonal conflict in my political life. This has made one of my main avenues for empowerment and dealing with the weight of the world less effective. As a consequence, I have had recurring urges to overeat. It has negatively impacted my health and energy beyond the general lethargy of mild depression.

Does anyone have any strategies or advice for compassionately handling these impulses? My wallet and body will surely thank you.