YeahIgotskills2

Forty was fine. I didn't feel old at all and was in a decent place mentally. I'm now 49, and I have a feeling 50 is going to be somewhat jarring. It just feels undeniably mature.

'Reality hits you hard, bro'

You should probably talk to someone, mate.

I think many people had happy childhoods, enjoyed family life, and want the same when they're older. Most humans are tribal and often want to be part of a family and, indeed, to add to it.

Personally, I was indifferent to having children throughout my 20s and well into my 30s. My wife was keen, and I wasn't averse to the idea.

As it happens, it was, by an order of magnitude, the best decision I made in my entire life. It completely altered my perception of self, the world, and everything.

Can you choose not to breathe or drink? I'm all for people electing not to have kids, but eating is a biological necessity for life. Your analogy isn't the best, mate. You're arguably not controlled by your biology when it comes to reproduction, but what about sex drive? Does that have no impact on your habits or lifestyle? Again, it's possible, but not the norm.

I have a song in my head, almost all the time. Invariably it's some 90s jingle from a TV commercial. I habitually repeat certain phrases. Pretty sure I'm autistic in some way, but I mask like a pro. I'm popular at work, socially and adapt to people quickly. I retain eye contact, but I'm actually staring at a point just above their eyes as I find eye contact insanely intimate.

I don't think I'm a complete psycho - if anything I have an almost paralysing amount of empathy. I even sympathise with people who really don't deserve it (politicians etc). I'm pretty happy now I'm pushing 50 and have a family, but I still use alcohol in excess most weekends. It just makes the world make more sense to me.

I analyse almost every social interaction I have. I feel a sense of triumph when it goes well, and shame / responsibility when I doesn't. I've been told I'm very agreeable and easy company, but the truth is it's not easy for me and I feel like I do most of the heavy lifting in conversations.

I envy those who can just sit in their own awkwardness, but I feel like I have to perform and make people like me. It usually works, but when it doesn't I stew on it endlessly. Anyway, no idea why I unloaded all that. Cheers!

Absolutely get that opinion. Nobody should ever feel pressured by society or individuals to have children

I had my kids later in life, having travelled the world and had a few long-term relationships. The version of me that was diving in Thailand, working in bars in New Zealand and exploring catacombs in Paris in his 20s found the concept of having kids almost absurd.

I was 36 when my first son was born, 38 when we had our 2nd. It's an absolutely profound experience and everything else I've experienced pales in comparison to fatherhood. My younger self would never have believed it, and I don't expect anyone who's not got kids to fathom what it's like.

In fact, I fully expect people who read this who don't have kids to find the sentiment condescending and even a little patronising. I know I would have.

Out of curiosity, what's not to get? It's a biological imperative for the human race to continue. I can absolutely get not wanting kids and choosing to be 'child free', but it's personally not that difficult to understand why people chose to have them.

I've got several, as I work in IT and we got a bunch returned that weren't windows 11 compatible. We just downloaded Rufus, which skips the TPN check and all good - a fully supported windows 11 build. I use one as a music centre. Just plugs into my old analogue hifi and runs Spotify. As it's touchscreen it's perfect for that purpose. I'm tempted to use Linux instead, but imagine to would be a hassle to get the drivers. Might try a distro on one of them this weekend and see how it goes.

It's one of the great scams that industry pulled off - deriding staying home with a family as somehow failing and getting both parents out to the grind. Then selling it as progressive. I'm in favour of equal opportunity in the workplace, but we've been left with the worst of both worlds.

I don't think you're wrong, but poor people never being able to have children would certainly be... Problematic. My forefathers were by no means well off, but having children was (and in many countries still is) seen as way to ensure your own health and safety as you grow older. Sadly, our society is no longer designed for families to thrive. Instead we work for others so we can pay people to look after our loved ones. It's pretty fucked up when you think about it.

"Unacceptable!"

... Except the malleable masses, addled on rage-bait, rightwing 'news' and bot-driven social media not only accept it but mindlessly endorse and defend it.